


You Belong With Me

by W0rldofmy0wn



Series: Neighbors AU [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Annoyed Anya, Because Clexa are always soulmates, Both are in other relationships but Clexa endgame, Childhood best friends but drifted apart, F/F, Life brings them back together, Sassy Octavia, Sassy Raven, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-15 21:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 57,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11239947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/W0rldofmy0wn/pseuds/W0rldofmy0wn
Summary: Lexa was seven years old when she asked Clarke to marry her. Now it's ten years later and the two hardly speak, barely see each other except at their windows when they're doing their homework. Now she has Anya as her best friend and Costia as her girlfriend and she thinks she couldn't be happier. When life starts pushing her and Clarke together more and more though, it's hard not to wish she still had her one-time best friend at her side, but the blonde is the only one who knows why they stopped being friends in the first place and she doesn't seem like she wants to share. Will life find a way to unite the two once again? Of course, because the universe knows they're soulmates even if they don't.Or the Neighbors AU no one asked for. This story is Lexa's side of events;Girl Next Doortells Clarke's side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I writing a new story when I'm already having a hard time updating my other two on a regular basis? Simply put, because this story is one of the reasons I'm having a hard time. It has demanded to be written, and so here I go!

_“Clarke will you marry me?”_  
  
_Lexa watched her very best friend look up, blonde hair tumbling in front of her eyes. Her legs hung aimlessly, just barely reaching the ground from the swing she sat on as it rocked a little from her movement. The blonde frowned, head tilting slightly to the side in confusion.“How come?” she wanted to know, watching Lexa as she continued walking forwards. The brunette scowled as her arms crossed in front of her._  
  
_“Tristan says now I'm seven I gotta be his girlfriend,” Lexa complained, rolling her eyes at just the thought. She saw Clarke's nose scrunch up and felt herself mirror the look. “I don't wanna be his girlfriend. Boys are gross.”_  
  
_Clarke nodded, clearly in agreement, but then her eyebrows furrowed further. “Can we be married?” she asked, fingers gripping tighter to the chains of her swing. “I'm still only six.” Lexa thought about this for a second and then shrugged. “We can be married after your birthday.” While she spoke, she moved to the empty swing beside her best friend, the one Clarke always made sure to save for her. It was their rule to always save a swing for the other one, no matter who made it to the swing set first at recess. “Till then we can be ingaged.” The blonde seemed to think this over for a second, and then she nodded once, her lips curling up into the big smile that always made Lexa smile too._  
  
_“Okay!” she agreed, releasing the chain with one hand and reaching out in the space between them. Automatically Lexa did the same, their pinkies linking together like they always did. “I'll marry you Lexa. We can do it on my birthday. You can be the wife and I'll be the husband.”_  
  
_At that it was Lexa's turn to frown, giving her best friend a look like she'd gone crazy._  
  
_“You can't be the husband, Clarke,” she argued. “I asked you, so I'm the husband.”_  
  
_“But I have a boy's name,” the blonde replied, shaking her head and Lexa's focus got stuck for a second on blonde strands as they fell in front of blue eyes. She always really liked Clarke's hair except for when it was hiding her eyes. Then she didn't like it so much. Feet pushing against the ground, she swung sideways, closing the distance between them and then brushed the hair out of Clarke's face, making the other girl smile again. “I should be the husband cause everyone thinks I'm a boy 'fore they meet me anyways.”_  
  
_“But you're not a boy,” Lexa stated, letting her swing fall back a little, their pinkies still connected between them. “You're Clarke and I love your name. It's the best. I gotta be the husband cause I asked.”_  
  
_Clarke let out a little huff, brow scrunching up as she began to think really hard, and Lexa couldn't help but smile a little as she watched her best friend. Suddenly the other girl's face lit up, pinky tightening around Lexa's before she looked over._  
  
_“We can both be the husbands!” she exclaimed, clearly the solution to their problem. Lexa just grinned, nodding because Clarke looked so happy. She'd always do anything in order to make Clarke happy. “Okay!”_  
  
_“Kay, so we're gonna be married and be husbands,” the blonde declared, expression determined. Lexa nodded again, tightening her grip on her pinky, but then frowned again when Clarke's expression fell a little. “What's wrong, Clarke?”_  
  
_“I think we gotta kiss.”_  
  
_“What?” Lexa asked, her eyes widening in shock. “Why do we gotta do that?” Clarke rolled her eyes before she raised an eyebrow, giving the brunette a look._  
  
_“We gotta, Lexa,” she repeated. “When people get ingaged they kiss. If you don't want Tristan to be your boyfriend then I think we gotta.” Lexa frowned, but the reminder of why they were doing this was enough for her to agree. “Okay,” she finally just said, expression settling into one of determination. “I guess we gotta.”_  
  
_Together they both turned, the chains of their swings twisting, and pushed themselves closer towards each other. Lexa's eyes flickered over blue eyes and rosy cheeks, suddenly nervous, but she tried not to show it. If this was anyone else she'd probably refuse, too grossed out and scared to do something this weird, but this was Clarke. Her best friend. The person she'd known practically her whole life. The only person who knew all her secrets and whose secrets she knew. She could do anything if it was with Clarke, so a silly kiss shouldn't be a big deal, even if her heart was beating a little too hard in her chest._  
  
_She noticed Clarke's eyes flicker down to her lips, looking just as nervous as Lexa felt, so the brunette decided to make the final move to make it easier for her. Releasing the other girl's pinky, she grabbed one of the chains of Clarke's swing to hold them together and then pushed forward, her face drawing closer and closer to the blonde's. At the last second her eyes closed, too nervous to keep them open, and then she felt her lips brush against the corner of Clarke's mouth. For the briefest second she felt all the air leave her lungs, her lips tingling kind of like her arm did whenever she laid on it too long, and then she suddenly pulled back. The kiss lasted only for an instant, but still she could feel her lips burning, her eyes darting away from her best friend's face as she leaned back, releasing Clarke's swing. Before she could push herself very far a hand reached out, fingers slipping through her own, and she looked down to see them holding hands._  
  
_“Now we're ingaged,” Clarke said, and when Lexa finally looked up she found cheeks a little redder than they'd been a minute ago, but lips curled up into a smile. “We're gonna be together forever, Lexa.”_  
  
_“Yeah,” Lexa murmured, a warm fuzzy feeling filling her chest as she stared at her best friend. “Forever.”  
_

__

_____ _

_____ _

***

_Ten Years Later_

Lexa felt her opponent's blow before she saw it and let out a small, frustrated growl as she dropped the point of her weapon before their coach could even say anything.  
  
“Point Anya,” Indra declared, raising her right hand to indicate the other fencer, and Lexa tipped her mask up for a brief second to wipe the sweat from her forehead. “2-2: next point wins the match.”  
  
“You'll have to be faster than that to beat me, Lexa,” Anya taunted from the other end of the piste, her mask up simply so she could toss the taunt over to the brunette. “Pick it up, Fancy Feet.”  
  
A few of their teammates chuckled, some elbowing each other, but Lexa ignored them all. After three years of watching the two girls in their friendly rivalry Anya's teasing was nothing new, nor was Lexa's quiet response. Indra watched on as the two reset themselves, each at their own end of the piste, Anya's fingers clenching and loosening around the handle of her saber as they always did when hyped up on adrenaline. Lexa stood almost completely still, expression entirely focused, and nearly as one the two pulled their masks back down.  
  
“En garde,” the coach barked, each girl immediately lifting her blade and pointing it towards her opponent as their feet shifted to the proper stance, one foot out in front of the other. “Ready.” The energy in the room settled, the teammates watching falling silent as the two figures waited for the go-ahead to start. Lexa's heart beat steadily, sinking calmly into her stance and letting out a deep even breath. “Fence.”  
  
Anya sprang forward, taking long steps, one-two-three, clearly determined to end this quickly. Her blade lashed out, aiming for Lexa's chest, but the brunette's rose to meet it, the sound of metal sliding against metal ringing through the room. Anya kept attacking, striking at Lexa with everything she had but Lexa parried each one, waiting for her opportunity to shake the defensive stance and move to offense. Her opponent lunged, jumping a little into the air, and Lexa saw it, defending one last time when Anya's blade rushed towards her and then stepped forward, not giving the other girl a chance to re-settle into her stance. With that the tides of the match turned, Lexa now taking the offensive, and it was Anya stepping backwards and giving up her clear advantage. Lexa's blade darted out, moving so quickly even she could barely follow its movements. Her body moved on autopilot, feet step-step-stepping, constantly crowding into the other girl's space while her arm thrashed, bringing her blade down left and right. Anya defended herself for a while, parrying each down sweep of Lexa's weapon, until she couldn't quite move fast enough. Lexa's blade skimmed through the air and her own rose to meet it, but too late. She felt the tap of the saber against the side of her head, her mask easily protecting her, and swore.  
  
“Point Lexa and that's the match,” Indra called out, stepping forward as the two girls broke apart, Anya thrusting her mask up as she cursed again. Lexa's mask lifted far more calmly, the brunette's expression still controlled but for the little quirk tugging at one corner of her lips. “Alright everyone, that's it for today. Pack up and get out of here,” Indra ordered looking over her team, and they all nodded.  
  
Immediately the room erupted into chatter, a dozen teenage girls unable to stay quiet any longer than they absolutely needed to.  
  
“Good match guys,” Echo called, tossing them a little wave as they headed to the locker rooms to change. “Thought she actually had you there for a second, Commander.”  
  
“What, our Commander? Not a chance,” Monroe argued, grinning as she leaned over, bumping into Anya's arm. “Not that you aren't great Anya, but Lexa's practically lightning with that blade.”  
  
“Watch it,” Anya growled, shoving back against her teammate, albeit lighter than one might expect of the often moody girl. “Remember who taught her everything she knows.”  
  
“And so the student has surpassed the teacher,” Emori stated with her own smirk. Turning to Lexa, she quirked an eyebrow. “Tell us Commander, how does it feel?”  
  
“It's nothing new,” the brunette replied, making sure to maintain a straight face. “After all I've been beating Anya for months now.” By the end of it they could all see the way her eyes sparkled, especially as she shot a teasing look towards her best friend.  
  
“Watch it, Woods,” Anya warned her, the group finally making it to the locker room. “Don't think I won't hurt you. I can kick your ass.”  
  
“You are welcome to try,” Lexa told her with a small nod, still trying not to grin. “I wish you the best of luck.”  
  
“Hey now, nobody's allowed to kick anyone's ass, at least not until after the tournament at Azgeda next month,” Emori reminded them as she began to strip out of her fencing gear. “Ontari's gonna be after you Lexa after last year, and I for one can't wait to see you crush her into pulp.”  
  
“Maybe she'll cry,” Monroe speculated out loud, now standing next to her locker without any pants on. “I really hope she cries. That would be fucking fantastic.”  
  
“It would be,” Anya agreed, a feral look in her eyes. Everyone knew about the rivalry between the Polis Warriors and the Azgeda Giants, but only the fencing team knew about the rivalry between Ontari and Lexa. It had started way back at the beginning of Freshmen year and was still going strong now in their Junior year, and nobody wanted Lexa to beat Ontari as badly as Anya. She seemed to think something over for a moment and then nodded. “Okay fine, I'll wait until after the tournament to kick your ass. But it's going to happen.”  
  
“Sure it is,” Lexa said, tossing her friend a grin, and then opened her locker, grabbing her jeans from inside.  
  
Once dressed again in their street clothes, the two friends left the locker room, a couple of their teammates dragging along behind them at their own pace. In the middle of talking about a project they needed to start working on for their history class, Lexa broke off in the middle of her sentence when she felt arms wrap around her shoulders. A pair of lips pressed against her cheek and she smiled, immediately happier than she'd been just the moment before.  
  
“Hey,” Costia said, holding her tighter for a second before letting go, her hand falling down between them to grasp Lexa's. “How'd practice go?”  
  
“Well,” Lexa replied, before nodding towards her friend. “I beat Anya. Again.”  
  
“Seriously Woods, watch it. You're skating on thin ice,” Anya told her, eyes narrowing. “If it wasn't for the match with Azgeda, I'd already be hurting you.” Costia chuckled and Lexa rolled her eyes, both entirely used to Anya's empty threats.  
  
“Well congrats,” Costia said, squeezing Lexa's hand tighter. Leaning over closer, she murmured, “Maybe later I can really give you the congratulations you deserve.” The brunette's cheeks burned but she grinned, leaning over to bump her girlfriend's shoulder.  
  
“I wouldn't exactly say no if you want to,” she agreed, dropping a quick kiss to the other girl's bare shoulder. “You know I always love anything you want to give me.”  
  
“Ugh, okay, that's enough,” Anya complained, stepping to the side to put a little more distance between herself and the gross lovebirds. “Please wait until I'm not around to talk about your sexual exploitations. I do not want to hear about it or have to imagine it. No.”  
  
Costia smirked and then raised her eyebrows at the other girl. “Because we've never had to hear about any of your sexual conquests?” she asked. “Two days ago you were telling us about the guy in your chemistry class you hooked up with, and three weeks ago it was the girl from the soccer team.”  
  
Anya smirked, looking far too proud of herself. “Well yeah, that's me,” she said. “My sex life is amazing. Your sex life is... well, with that.” She pointed to Lexa who tilted her head up, pretending to be offended.  
  
“I'll tell you that,” Costia replied, jerking her head towards her girlfriend, “Does perfectly well in the sex department. A lot better than just well, in fact.”  
  
Lexa grinned, nodding her thanks, even as Anya let out another groan. The two continued to bicker and the brunette tuned them out, letting herself just be happy as they walked through the school and she held her girlfriend's hand. She hadn't been so sure how this would go five months ago when she and Costia started dating. Anya had never been the easiest person to get to know, and convincing her to let her walls down was nearly as hard as trying to convince Lexa to do the same, but there really hadn't been any major mishaps. It had been clear at the beginning Anya hadn't been sure what she thought about this new person suddenly so involved in their lives, but Costia was easy-going, happy to tease when the time permitted but immediately backing down the moment that time ended. The two clashed slightly at first, but each had quickly learned how to adapt to the other, something that Lexa couldn't help but be thankful for. After crushing on Costia for the better part of her Sophomore year, she'd hated the idea of having to end things before they even really began just because her best friend couldn't stand her. Now the two even seemed to be some kind of friends – admittedly friends who enjoyed picking on each other – and it made Lexa smile easily at the thought.  
  
Leaving the school, the trio made their way down to the football field as they nearly always did after Lexa and Anya's fencing practice got out. They could hear the muddled noise before they were anywhere near the field, and the closer they got the more the noises separated out into distinct areas. At one end of the large field they found the football team, the players huffing and growling and shouting as they ran into each other, probably practicing various plays. Lexa barely glanced their way, never really having much passion for the sport, and followed Anya's lead up into the stands. At the other end of the field were the cheerleaders, and Lexa turned to find the reason she was there.  
  
Aden seemed far too focused, his sister noticing the way his brow scrunched up even from the bleachers. Somebody said something and he and the rest of the cheerleaders all moved, falling into some kind of prearranged formation. Nearly as one, with just a few stragglers here and there, they began their chant, hands clapping and arms waving around, and Lexa just watched on. The chanting continued and they all moved around, and a flash of blonde caught Lexa's gaze. Clarke stood at the front, a wide smile on her face, and for a moment the brunette just watched her. Then the chanting ended and the blonde turned around, calling something out, and everyone crowded in around her.  
  
“So do you think your dad would mind if I stayed for dinner?” Costia asked beside her, leaning into Lexa's side, and she turned away from the field. Smiling at her girlfriend, she shrugged. “He's never had a problem with it before, so I imagine it would be fine.” Costia returned her grin and then gave her a quick kiss, Lexa's eyes immediately closing the moment their mouths touched. Man did she love it when this girl kissed her.  
  
“Ahem,” Anya coughed, probably rolling her eyes on Lexa's other side. “Kindly wait to start ripping each other's clothes off until I'm not sitting right here.”  
  
“Hey, if you're bored I could probably help entertain you while they make out,” they heard, and Lexa pulled quickly away from Costia, all three turning to the side to see Raven Reyes sitting on the bottom bleacher. She looked over to them, smirking over her shoulder. “I bet we'd have some fun together.” She smirked at Anya and winked.  
  
“You couldn't handle me, Reyes,” Anya informed her, holding her head up high. “Trust me.” Raven's smirk just grew, eyes lighting up from the challenge. “Don't be so sure, Forest,” she replied. “I've tamed wilder beasts than you, and enjoyed every second of it. So did they.”  
  
They all heard a scoff, and then Octavia Blake was standing beside the other girl, wisps of hair plastered to her sweat-slick forehead. She held her helmet down by her side and then tossed it lightly beside Raven on the bleachers. “Yeah, like who?” she wanted to know, still scoffing at one of her best friends. “Who are these 'beasts' you've tamed?” Without waiting for an answer, she reached forward, grabbing a water bottle from beside Raven and then held it up, squirting a good portion of the water directly over her head.  
  
“Hey, that's mine!” Raven declared, glaring at the football player, and Octavia glanced at the water bottle before tossing it over to her friend. “Oops,” she just said, “My bad.” She grabbed a second water bottle beside her and took a long gulp from it.  
  
“Sure, you drink your own water and pour half of mine over your head,” Raven grumbled, shooting a glare at her friend. Octavia just shot her a grin. “Idiots,” Lexa heard Anya mumble beside her.  
  
“Hey An,” Lincoln said, walking up behind Octavia, also still decked out in his football pads. He nodded to the brunette beside her. “Lexa.” He then looked at Octavia, smile softening a little. “Good practice today,” he told her.  
  
“You too,” the girl replied, returning his smile. “See ya tomorrow.”  
  
“Tomorrow,” he agreed with another nod, and then he looked up to Anya. “I'll be right back and we can go.” When she just rolled her eyes he turned and headed off the field, undoubtedly making his way to the locker rooms to change. Lexa noticed Octavia watching him as he walked away, and almost frowned when she let out a moan.  
  
“Fuck I want him,” she groaned. She sat heavily next to Raven and managed to bump her forehead against the other girl's shoulder even with all her pads still on. “He's hot and sweet and I just want him.”  
  
“Well that is his sister sitting just behind us,” Raven told her, her voice light. “Maybe if you beg enough she'll put in a good word for you.” Octavia shot back up, turning on the bleacher to look at Anya with wide eyes. “Oh my god that's brilliant,” she said, and Raven grinned. “Well I am a genius, so.” Ignoring her friend, Octavia stared at Anya. “What do you think Anya? Could you put in a good word for me with your brother?” she all but begged.  
  
Anya scoffed. “I don't get involved with my brother's love life,” she informed the other girl, crossing her arms. “I don't want anything to do with that.”  
  
Clearly not ready to let the idea go, Octavia immediately turned to Lexa, the brunette's eyes widening a little. “What about you Lexa?” she asked. “You're basically like his sister, will you put in a good word for me?”  
  
Lexa glanced cautiously between Octavia and Anya, practically feeling the glare her best friend was giving the football player. “I uh... I don't, I'm not-” Seeing movement coming towards them from the field, she stood up quickly, dragging Costia with her. “We have to go. Good luck with your... Good luck. See you later Anya.”  
  
Before she could take more than a step, she felt a vice grip curl around her wrist.  
  
“Don't you leave me with them,” Anya threatened, voice low and deadly. She looked back towards the field and saw Aden already almost to the bleachers and somehow managed to shake out of Anya's grip. “Sorry,” she just said, entirely aware her best friend would get her back for this at some point but having no desire to stick around and discuss playing matchmaker between Octavia and Lincoln. “Gotta go.” She could feel the daggers in Anya's glare as she and Costia made their way down the bleachers but chose to ignore them.  
  
“Hey,” she said once on the field, jogging a little to meet her little brother. “How was practice?”  
  
“Good,” Aden answered with a shrug. “Clarke gave me some suggestions to help me strengthen my arms. And she thinks my round off's looking better.”  
  
“Good,” Lexa replied, honestly not entirely sure what that meant. It had come as a shock to her a month ago when he tried out for the cheering team and she was still trying to get the hang of the different terminology. He just grinned at her, clearly seeing through her attempt at pretending she understood what that meant. “What about you? How was fencing?”  
  
“She beat Anya,” Costia bragged for her, moving to his other side and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “I don't know about you, but I sure feel safe walking around with your sister. Nobody's ever gonna mess with her.” Lexa felt herself blush a little even as she rolled her eyes and Aden let out a little snort. “Oh yeah, she's real tough. Let's just hope no one ever finds out about her insane candle collection and we can keep up appearances.” Lexa shoved him lightly as Costia laughed. “True,” she agreed. “I guess you can't be that much of a badass when you have three apple spice candles at any one time with a dozen or so others 'in case of an emergency'.”  
  
“It is responsible to have alternative light sources at your disposal,” Lexa informed them both, raising her head a little higher. “If we lose power you'll be glad I have candles for us.”  
  
“Lexa, you could light our entire house with your candles,” Aden told her, giving her a look. “You probably have enough to put five in every room and still have spares. And when was the last time we actually lost power?” His sister decided to ignore him, simply rose her head higher, and he rolled his eyes while Costia tried not to laugh.  
  
Reaching the student parking lot, Costia led them to her car. Like most days, Aden crawled into the backseat, tossing his book bag beside him while Lexa settled into the passenger's seat, her own bag neatly tucked by her feet. Costia started up the car and then headed out, the three chatting easily as they made the short trip to the Woods's household. As soon as they got home Aden left them, throwing his bag on the couch and firing up his Xbox.  
  
“Don't forget to do your homework,” Lexa called to him, even as Costia grabbed her hand and started leading her to the stairs. “Yeah yeah, I will,” she heard her brother call back, already absorbed in his game, and Lexa shook her head and let her girlfriend lead her away.  
  
Before they'd even fully stepped into her room Costia tugged her closer, her hands on Lexa's waist. The brunette pulled her door closed behind her as her girlfriend dragged her into her room, shivering lightly as nimble fingers fell to the hem of her shirt, dancing lightly across her skin.  
  
“So I believe I promised you a better congratulations,” Costia murmured, pushing closer so her lips dipped close to Lexa's ear. “Since you won your match against Anya.” Lexa caught herself grinning, her arms wrapping loosely around the other girl's waist. Her breath hitched slightly when she felt teeth begin to nibble oh so lightly on her earlobe, and had to lick lips that had suddenly gone dry.  
  
“You did,” she agreed, giving a little nod. “And if this is the kind of congratulations you like to give, I'll have to make sure never to lose another match, even if it is just practice.” Costia laughed, smile growing, and Lexa's heart skipped a beat, getting lost for a moment in brown eyes that sparkled with life. She still couldn't entirely believe the girl she'd been crushing on for so long had agreed to be her girlfriend, but she wasn't about to question it.  
  
“Come here,” Costia whispered, voice dropping a little, and Lexa allowed her to pull her closer, eyes closing the moment she felt the other girl's mouth press against hers. For a second Costia kept it light, almost teasing, and then her head tilted and it immediately deepened and Lexa's brain began to turn into mush, unable to register any thoughts other than this girl pressed up against her. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Lexa's fingers making their way into bushy hair and feeling Costia grin a little as they did before she began to lead them backwards. After five months she knew this room nearly as well as Lexa did, so had no problem steering them over to the bed without breaking away from each other. Suddenly her arms wrapped around Lexa tighter and then she was falling back and pulling the other girl with her, and then Lexa was laughing as they fell into a heap on her bed.  
  
“Smooth,” she just said, quirking an eyebrow at the other girl. “Very smooth.”  
  
“It worked, didn't it?” Costia replied with a grin. “Now I've got you right where I want you.” Lexa opened her mother to retort but before she could get anything else out the other girl pushed herself up enough to capture her lips again, and whatever she'd been about to say died in her chest as she sunk down, letting herself fall into the kiss and her girlfriend's hold.  
  
They kissed for a while, barely even breaking apart to breathe, and Lexa figured this must be what heaven feels like. She couldn't imagine anything better than being so close to Costia, feeling her beneath her, her fingers gripping the back of her shirt lightly and breath beginning to get heavy. If she could experience this every day of her life she would definitely be able to die happy. Her girlfriend apparently seemed to feel the same way, because every time Lexa tried to put a little bit more space between them so they could get some air she just pulled her back down. After the third time she just gave up, deciding if Costia was happy, then so was she. Air was overrated anyway.  
  
After what seemed like only a moment after her hand slipped beneath the hem of Costia's shirt, fingers gliding over her stomach, a loud knock on her door interrupted them. She huffed, trying to ignore it and keep at what she was doing, until she heard, “You two aren't naked, are you?”  
  
“No, go away,” Lexa barked, pulling back just enough to get the words out. The next second her door flung open, Aden now standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, a smug smirk on his face. “Aden! What the hell?”  
  
“You know the rules Lexa; the door's not supposed to be closed when your girlfriend's in there with you,” he replied, sounding way too entertained. Shrugging, he glanced at the clock on the desk beside her bed and added, “Dad should be home any minute; just trying to help you out, sis.”  
  
“Thanks Aden, we really appreciate it,” Costia told him sarcastically, giving him her own look, having to glance past Lexa's arm since the other girl was still pretty much on top of her. He gave them both a mock salute and then turned on his heel, making his way down the hall to his own room. A moment later they heard music turn on, the loud noise just making Lexa glare harder at her doorway.  
  
“One of these days I'm going to kill him,” she muttered, peeved by the interruption when things had only just started to heat up. She heard Costia scoff beneath her and looked down, finding her girlfriend raising an eyebrow at her. “What?”  
  
“Please, you love that kid more than anything else in the world.” She nudged against her lightly, even as she continued, “I'm pretty sure you would actually kill anyone who tried to mess with him. I don't know how you'd do it, but I do know it'd be painful for them.”  
  
Lexa rolled over, transferring her weight from Costia to her bed and huffed a little as she settled on top of the blankets. “Yeah but it'd be different if someone else tried anything,” she argued. “He's my brother, so I can kill him. It's not okay if anybody else goes after him.” The corners of Costia's lips curled up and she turned, leaning into Lexa's body.  
  
“Such a badass,” she murmured, reaching out to slip her fingers through Lexa's. “Even with your candle obsession.”  
  
“It isn't an obsession it's a collection,” the brunette informed her, no real fight to her tone. She was too busy studying the way their fingers fit together, dark skin and light coming together in a beautiful pattern. “Having a collection is perfectly healthy.”  
  
“Whatever you say, Lexa,” Costia replied, still smiling. She leaned over, letting her head lay on the other girl's shoulder, and Lexa turned, her cheek resting against hair she often thought had a life of its own. Closing her eyes, Lexa let herself relax, perfectly content to just lay there with her girlfriend and enjoy the peace of being together. 

***

Settling down at her desk, Lexa let out a sigh. Dinner was over, Costia had headed home, so like it or not it was time to start on her pile of homework. Honestly she liked school and enjoyed studying, but liked them less when they interfered with her time with her girlfriend. With no other choices however, she grabbed the bag lying on the floor and dragged it towards her, opening it to take out her books and notebooks, mentally deciding what she should get started on first.  
  
Half way through her essay for Kane on the women's rights movement in the early nineteen hundreds and the fight they still had in the modern day, she glanced up, catching movement past her laptop screen. Her desk had always been planted right in front of her window, and now she looked out at the reason why. From here she could see into her neighbor's window, and saw Clarke sitting at her own desk, brow furrowed as she worked on her own homework. As though the blonde could feel her eyes on her she looked up, catching green. Lexa might have looked away but then she saw the other girl smile before turning back to her desk and writing something. A moment later she held up a piece of paper and Lexa grinned as she read it. _Chemistry sucks._  
  
Grabbing her notebook beside her, Lexa flipped to a clean page and then wrote out her own message in big letters. Holding it up in front of the window, her eyebrows rose. _Your dad's an engineer, mom's a surgeon._ Flipping a page, she added another note and then held it up. _Shouldn't chemistry be in your blood?_  
  
Clarke shook her head, lips pulling into a grin, and then scribbled out a response. _Must've skipped a generation._ She wrote out another note. _You?_ After holding it up, she nodded, likely gesturing to Lexa's laptop.  
  
_History,_ she wrote back, _Women's rights movement, 1900's._ Clarke nodded and then leaned over to write a response. _True heroes._ Lexa let out a little laugh and returned her nod even as the blonde continued to write something else. Looking back over to her, she held up another piece of paper. _Have fun!_ Lexa's grin shifted into a soft smile before replying. _Thanks. Good luck with the chem!_ She could practically hear Clarke's groan as she rolled her eyes, but the blonde held up her thumb and then flashed her a quick smile before returning her attention back to what Lexa didn't doubt were some painful chemical equations that needed balancing.  
  
The brunette's attention didn't return to her own work quite as quickly. Looking back at her laptop screen, she just stared at it for a minute, the words blurring together as her mind remained stuck on her neighbor. Memories of sitting right here at this desk and talking to the blonde flooded through her, images of their young selves laughing and sharing secrets back and forth in the ways only they knew about crowding her all at once. As children they'd been inseparable, together nearly every minute always, finding ways to talk even when they were each in their own house. She remembered how easy life had seemed with Clarke by her side, how she so often went to bed with cheeks that ached from smiling so hard because of the things the blonde did and said. Clarke had been her best friend once upon a time, been the only person she thought she would ever really need to be happy, and she remembered thinking about how they would be together forever.  
  
That had been a long time ago, though. Forever seems possible when you're seven and invincible with your best friend holding your hand but time has a way of changing things. She and Clarke hadn't been close in years, nothing more than neighbors who still exchanged a few notes at their windows every now and then, and suddenly she felt a pang in her chest. The ache settled deep and heavy even as she tried to ignore it. She still didn't entirely understand how it had happened, but she and Clarke had grown apart, and despite the ache in her chest she'd gotten used to it, had learned how to live her life without the blonde beside her. Life had continued and she'd learned together forever is just something said as kids, nothing more than a daydream never likely to happen.  
  
Managing to hold in a sigh, Lexa forced herself to focus back on her essay, pushing all thoughts of her neighbor out of her head.


	2. Chapter 2

“You did not,” Anya stated, clearly dumbfounded as her eyes widened. Lincoln leaned against the frame of her door, arms crossing easily in front of him as he continued to grin. “I did,” he replied happily, and Lexa's eyes flickered back and forth between them. Apparently a moment ago when Anya'd heard her brother whistling as he passed her room and asked what had put him in such a good mood, she hadn't expected the answer to be that he'd asked Octavia Blake out and she'd agreed. Now Lexa watched on as Anya's eyes bulged a little, her mouth dropping open for a split second before it snapped closed again.  
  
“You are not dating Octavia,” she repeated, as though saying it enough would make it true. Lincoln shrugged one shoulder, saying, “Not yet, nah, it's just one date. If that goes well though? Yeah, I might be.” Anya shook her head, either not believing him or refusing to accept it, Lexa wasn't entirely sure which. Lincoln frowned at that, giving his sister a look before he asked, “Why? What do you have against her?”  
  
“She's... Octavia,” Anya said, as though that explained it. “She's loud and annoying and has way too much energy. And when you put her with Reyes and Griffin she's worse. They're all just so... ugh.” She scowled, apparently easily angered at just the thought of the trio. “Why would you want to go out with her?”  
  
“She's sweet,” Lincoln answered immediately, something in his expression shifting, almost softening. “And tough. Doesn't take any crap from anyone. It doesn't hurt she's gorgeous too.” He shrugged again. “And I like her, so why wouldn't I ask her out?” Glancing between his sister and her best friend, he grinned again. “I'm surrounded by strong women all the time; I think she'd fit right in.”  
  
“Don't try to butter me up,” Anya growled, now just annoyed. “If I have to deal with Reyes and her mouth because of this I'll make you regret it.” Her brother didn't seem to be at all disheartened by the threat as he pushed himself off of the door frame, arms falling back to his sides. “You're just going to have to deal with it, sis,” he told her, not bothering to hide a smirk. “I have a feeling her friends are kind of like a package deal. If hanging out with them means I get to be with her, then as far as I care they can move in.” Lexa bit back a laugh, her lips twitching at the picture of that group living under the same roof as Anya. When they were young Clarke had always been the kind of kid to leave her clothes and toys everywhere in her room, and she doubted much about that had changed. Glancing around Anya's room, everything was neatly tucked away in its place like always, even her books arranged by size from tallest to shortest. That particular roommate combination would be a disaster waiting to happen.  
  
“Just great,” Anya muttered as her brother turned and headed to his own room, apparently done with the conversation. “This is just great.”  
  
“Octavia isn't that bad,” Lexa tried to tell her, both in an attempt to help and because she believed it. “She is...” She struggled for a second, trying to come up with an accurate description of the girl in question. “She is a force of nature maybe, but she's nice. And he's right, she doesn't seem to take crap from anyone. You two might get along better than you think.”  
  
Anya glared at her before she rolled her eyes.  
  
“Sure, Octavia's alright,” she gave in, “It's her friends that are the problem. Raven's mouth is bigger than her brain and Clarke's just... Clarke.” There was an extra bite to the blonde's name, and Lexa had to look down, trying not to react to it. For some reason she suddenly felt defensive of her neighbor but wasn't entirely sure why. Sure, they were still friendly towards each other through their windows, but that hardly extended to defending her against her best friend. Even so she found herself asking as calmly as she could, “What's so bad about Clarke?”  
  
For a few seconds it was quiet, her question left unanswered, and out of curiosity Lexa found herself glancing back up. When she did she found Anya's eyes on her, almost as though she were studying her, and she frowned. Before she could think much about it her friend's expression shifted slightly as she shrugged.  
  
“She just annoys me, that's all,” she answered, throwing the answer out as though it didn't matter. Clearly changing the subject, she continued, “I will be more annoyed if we don't get this project done though.” Deciding to let the subject drop, Lexa turned back to the book open on her lap. For their English class they'd decided to do a project to show why _Romeo and Juliet_ wasn't the greatest love story of all time but instead a cautionary tale of how dangerous it can be to let one's heart out-rule everything else. They'd been working for almost two hours and found at least a dozen examples to support it and still had two and a half acts to go. Picking the book back up, Lexa nodded, grabbing her notebook and getting back to work.  
  
An hour and a half later Lexa found herself walking home, head bopping a little to the music playing from her phone. Every now and then a song was interrupted as she got a new text, and every time she did she smiled a little more at seeing her girlfriend's name flash across the screen.  
  
**Costia (6:32 PM) so how'd the project go?**  
  
**Lexa <3 (6:34 PM) It went well. We found a lot of good evidence to support our theory.**  
  
**Costia (6:41 PM) lol i'm sure u did.**  
  
**Costia (6:42 PM) Wanna call me later? I miss ur voice. ;)**  
  
Lexa felt herself grin. Part of her considered teasing her, reminding her they'd been together only a few hours ago, but she didn't. As foolish as it was, she had to admit she missed Costia's voice as well.  
  
**Lexa <3 (6:44 PM) Sure. I'm on my way home and still have some homework I need to do, but I'll call after. Okay?**  
  
**Costia (6:47 PM) ok! can't wait!**  
  
Her music playing again and now uninterrupted, Lexa put her phone back in her pocket. She would have to try to get through the rest of her homework as quickly as possible since it now was the only thing standing between her and a phone call with her girlfriend. She still wasn't entirely sure what she'd done right to convince Costia to go out with her and how she'd managed to keep her interested for so long, but she also knew better than to question it. For now she would just consider herself lucky and hope nothing changed.  
  
With only a mile or so to go, Lexa slowed down a little as she passed the elementary school. Behind the fence separating it from the road she saw the playground, and her eyes caught on the swing set. Six swings dangled on their chains, but her focus shifted immediately to the two on the farthest right. Images flashed suddenly across her mind, memories from a time that felt so long ago. She remembered Clarke's laugh when they twisted the chains, letting their swings spin them in what felt like uncontrolled circles. Determination in blue eyes as she pumped her legs, trying to get the swing to fly up into the sky with her on it. For a second she could almost feel a pinky wrapped around her own, the sensation so real she had to physically look down to see her lonely fingers hanging at her side. It all hit her so hard and so fast she didn't have time to close herself off from it and then her chest began to ache slightly, desperately wishing for those times again. Eventually she managed to push the feeling away, to return the memories to the vault they'd been locked away in for so long, but even once they were gone she felt a little empty. Those days on the swings with Clarke were ones she still dreamt about every now and then, and pushing the thoughts away was somehow becoming harder and harder to do. Glancing at the playground one last time she turned away, holding her head high as she continued down the street and tried to pretend none of those memories affected her.  
  
When she got home she called a quick hello to her brother and father, gave her dad a quick update on her day, and then grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and bounded up the stairs against her father's protest to sit down and have a real meal. “I ate at Anya's,” she shouted back, thinking about all the snacks they'd eaten while working on their project, and kept heading to her room. Once inside she grabbed her homework and made herself comfortable at her desk, planning to get through it all as quickly as possible so she could call Costia. Taking out her math book, she opened it up and got right to work.  
  
Attempting to figure out a particularly tricky radical equation, for a moment her mind didn't register the movement she saw just on the edge of her periphery. The movement continued however, and after a few seconds it seemed to wade through the mathematical fog her brain had fallen into and grabbed her attention. She looked up, staring out her window, and for another second her mind went blank, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. When it finally clicked she lunged forward, desperately pulling at her curtains to close them.  
  
Clarke was in her room again, except this time she wasn't alone. She and Finn were together, standing just in view of the window, and as Lexa watched he'd taken her shirt off, throwing it somewhere behind him. Before she could see anything else she'd moved, but now the image of them, Finn's hands on Clarke's body, would forever be seared into her mind. For a second her stomach dropped as though she were on a roller coaster and she couldn't quite breathe. Her mind reeled, knowing exactly what was happening next door, and no matter how hard she tried to shut off her brain images continued to flash through of the two of them together. With each one her stomach dropped more for no reason, and the ache she'd felt earlier in her chest returned full force.  
  
She tried to focus on her homework and ignore what she'd seen but she couldn't. Where she'd been in a good mood only a minute before, now she sat staring at her book unable to think of anything else and she didn't even know why. She knew Clarke and Finn were dating, that wasn't anything new, so of course they were having sex. This was high school; who wasn't having sex? This shouldn't be a surprise and she really shouldn't care, but no matter how many times she told herself that she couldn't make it true. After fifteen minutes of doing nothing but staring unproductively at her math book she got up from her desk, pushing her chair back roughly, and moved over to her bed. She seldom did homework there, but she hoped moving away from the desk and the window, even with the curtains closed, would help her forget what she'd seen and what was happening. It didn't, but she was able to focus a little better. Determined to think of nothing but radical equations, she got back to work.  
  
A little over an hour later she closed her book, finally done with math. She knew she really should read another chapter of _The Great Gatsby_ for her American Literature class, but decided against it, knowing she wouldn't have anymore luck focusing on that than she did with the equations. Just as she was about to pull her cellphone out and call her girlfriend, she heard static come from her desk.  
  
_Lexa? You there?_  
  
Her eyes widened in surprise, shifting instantly over to the little basket that always sat on the corner of her desk. Clarke's voice came out of the walkie-talkie inside it, the fuzzy static surrounding her words. She'd gotten the walkie-talkies for her fifth birthday and immediately given the second to Lexa, and for over two years they'd spent every night talking in them, sharing the stories and secrets and fears they'd developed since they were last together. For years now that basket had remained silent, not so much as a peep coming from it. She'd kept the batteries fresh due to nostalgia more than anything else, never thinking it would make noise again.  
  
For a second Lexa hesitated, not sure why Clarke was calling her suddenly or if she even really wanted to talk to her. Her gut still felt tight, hurting for no reason, and she had a feeling talking to Clarke would only make it hurt more. It always seemed to, when the blonde was involved.  
  
_Lexa, please? Answer me?_  
  
There was a certain level of desperation in Clarke's tone, and despite everything Lexa knew she could never ignore that. Pushing her books off her lap, she reached over and grabbed the walkie-talkie from its basket. It felt smaller than she remembered, fit strangely in her palm, but nevertheless she brought it up towards her mouth.  
  
“What's up Clarke?” she asked into it, pressing the button to make the call and then releasing it. She leaned back, waiting for the reply, and closed her eyes when she got it.  
  
_Will you meet me? In the tree house?_  
  
Clarke's tree house. Another spot from her childhood she never thought she would revisit. Her throat burned suddenly, lost days and nights spent with her best friend searing across her memory, and she had to clear it before she could answer. A voice in the back of her mind – one that sounded an awful lot like Anya – told her not to do it, not to open these doors that had taken so long to shut away, but something about Clarke's tone still tugged at her.  
  
“Sure,” she finally answered, her voice far steadier than she felt. “I'll meet you out there in a few minutes.”  
  
_Thanks,_ came the immediate reply, and then the line went silent and Lexa just sat there for a moment, trying to figure out what just happened. For years now she and Clarke had lived just barely on the perimeter of the other's life, sharing notes at the window every once in a while and nothing more, and now they were going out to meet up in the blonde's old tree house. Lexa didn't know what was going on, but she didn't trust it.  
  
Finally she got up, putting the walkie-talkie back in its basket, and then calmly gathered her homework back up, arranging it in a neat pile on her desk. The busy work helped her get a handle on her racing thoughts and emotions, regaining control of both. Only once that control was solidly in place again did she grab her cellphone and send a quick text to Costia.  
  
**Lexa <3 (8:43 PM) I'm sorry, something came up. I'll still try to call you, but it might be a little later. Is that okay?**  
  
Not waiting for a reply, she slipped her phone in her pocket and then looked around, partially to see if she forgot anything and also partially because she was stalling. Noticing the blanket folded up neatly on the end of her bed, she grabbed it. When they were kids, Clarke had been notorious for always forgetting to bring any blankets to the tree house, so she'd quickly gotten into the habit of bringing one for them to share.  
  
_Old habits die hard,_ she thought as she hung the blanket over her arm. She turned to leave the room, and just as she did she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it back out, she quickly skimmed the text, debating whether to reply or not, but then just returned it to her pocket.  
  
**Costia (8:45 PM) yeah, thats fine**  
  
**Costia (8:45 PM) hope everythings ok! :)**  
  
Aden looked up at her as she came down the stairs, heading straight for the door. “Where are you going?” he asked, giving her a look, and she just tossed back, “For a walk.” Out of the corner of her eyes she saw him glance at the blanket. “With a blanket?”  
  
“It's getting cold out,” she said by way of explanation, knowing that would just cause more questions than answers, but she didn't stick around long enough for him to bombard her with them. She quickly slipped on her shoes and jacket, and then called behind her, “Tell Dad I'll be back in a little while. Do your homework!”  
  
“Yeah yeah yeah,” she heard him mutter and grinned before she made her exit.  
  
There was no kind of divide between the Griffin's house and her own. She was pretty sure they'd been thinking about putting a fence in until Lexa and her family moved in when she was two and a half, but the moment that happened the fence idea went away. It worked out well when they were kids, the two of them easily able to play on the lawn between the houses, either set of parents in charge of watching the adventurous girls. Since then it seemed no one had decided a fence should be added or had found the time to put one in so the yards remained conjoined. Now Lexa strolled over the invisible line between them, crossing over to the Griffin side for the first time in years.  
  
Clarke's tree house was out back and Lexa walked straight towards it, momentarily wondering if Jake or Abby knew about this meeting and what they would say if they saw her in their backyard if they didn't. They'd always been on good terms, even after the friendship had somehow fallen apart, but technically she was still trespassing. Despite her worry she made it to the tree with no problems, and then rearranged the blanket in her grip so she could climb the ladder. The coarse rope felt strange against her palms, the entire thing swaying a little less as she moved up it now that she was bigger, but she tried to push the strangeness out of her mind.  
  
Peering up through the hole in the floor that was the entrance, she found Clarke already waiting for her. She sat on the other side of the floor, facing away from the door, but Lexa saw her shift slightly as she climbed through, clearly hearing her. Once inside she secured the door in place and then crawled over towards the blonde, dragging the blanket with her.  
  
“Huh. This place hasn't changed much,” she stated, more to break the silence than anything else. It was true: the space was still sparsely decorated, a few old plastic toys littering the corners. The roof of the tree house had never been added so that Clarke could always stare up at the stars, one of the things she'd loved doing most when she was a little girl. Her father had covered the top with mosquito netting to keep as many bugs out as possible, but because of the lack of roof she'd never been able to keep much in there. It didn't matter, they hadn't needed things: Lexa could remember dozens of nights when they had just laid here, searching for shooting stars and giggling together. Her heart tugged at the memory, and she tried to push it away.  
  
“No, it's pretty much the same,” Clarke replied, also looking around. She seemed to be studying it just as much as Lexa. “It's kind of weird, actually. I haven't been up here in years.”  
  
“Me neither,” Lexa said, trying to sound like she was joking, but Clarke looked away quickly. The brunette sat awkwardly for a moment, not really knowing what to say or why they were here, but then she mentally shrugged. The cheerleader had asked her here for some reason and she was sure she would find out why as soon as she was ready to talk about whatever it was that was bugging her. Until then she shifted, making herself as comfortable as possible while she waited. As she moved her shoulder bumped against Clarke's and she almost pulled back to apologize, but then she felt the blonde lean against her. The pressure was light enough she wasn't entirely sure it was even there at first, but after a second she could feel Clarke's body heat and knew she wasn't imagining it. She stayed where she was, letting the other girl just barely lean against her, and waited.  
  
“You know, don't you?” she suddenly asked, and Lexa looked over to find her head tipped back just a little, blue eyes staring up at the sky.  
  
“I don't-” Lexa began, trying to pretend she had no clue what Clarke was talking about, but the blonde cut her off. “I saw your window, Lexa. I know you saw us. Or did you close your curtains for another reason?” Lexa nearly blushed, embarrassed at having been found out, and didn't answer. Her silence was clearly answer enough. For another few seconds they sat in awkward silence and then Clarke asked quietly, “Have you ever... you know. Had sex?”  
  
Lexa's eyes widened by the sudden question. This was just about the last conversation she ever thought she'd have with the blonde, but here they were. She debated for a second, knowing fully well she didn't have to answer; the time they'd shared everything had long since passed and now she had no reason to talk about such a personal thing with someone who was little more than a stranger. As she glanced over though she didn't see a stranger, didn't see someone she didn't know or who didn't deserve to know her secrets. She saw Clarke, her Clarke, the girl without the cheering uniform or group of rowdy friends at her back, and Lexa realized she felt far more comfortable than she ever thought she would have.  
  
“Yeah,” she finally answered slowly. “I have.  
  
“Costia?” Clarke asked, looking back over at her, and the brunette nodded. “Just with Costia?” Another nod. “Cool. And did you... Do you like it?” The question made Lexa frown, studying the other girl more closely. Even with Clarke looking at her she felt as though the blonde was holding something back, trying to hide something away, and that triggered something inside her she couldn't quite name. She couldn't remember her Clarke every having that look in her eyes, but then again she didn't even know if this was her Clarke she was talking to.  
  
“Yeah,” she said, nodding again. “I like it. We have fun.” The answer just made Clarke's brow furrow, just barely, and then she turned to stare back up at the sky. “I thought I would like it too,” she murmured, the words so quiet Lexa almost had to lean closer to her to hear them. “Raven and Octavia are always talking about how great it is, and Bellamy talks about it like it's the greatest thing on earth. I just thought it would be... different. Or happen differently. I don't know.”  
  
Two thoughts came to Lexa nearly at the same time. The first was the realization that what had happened barely more than an hour ago had been Clarke's first time. The second thought gripped her gut so tightly she thought she might get sick even as her heart stopped beating. Had what she nearly witnessed not been sex? Had she just closed the curtain and moved to her bed while Clarke experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a person? Finn's face flashed into her mind and she grit her jaw so tightly it was almost surprising she didn't crack any teeth. If it was true then she would find him and she would kill him and no death would ever be painful enough to give Clarke justice. If it was true Finn would die very soon and she would possibly follow not far behind, the guilt of sitting by and doing nothing enough to surely kill her.  
  
Fighting to swallow down bile suddenly piling up in the back of her throat, she asked slowly, “Clarke did he... What happened was it...” She couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't put her fear into words but the other girl clearly understood. Quickly she looked back at Lexa, shaking her head.  
  
“No, I wanted it,” she assured her, and the grip on the brunette's gut began to loosen. “It was consensual, it's just... I don't know. I guess I expected it to be different. Thought I'd feel different after.” She shrugged, clearly not sure how else to describe it, and the brunette watched as her brow furrowed slightly, frustrated.  
  
“Sex can be fun, but it isn't the life-changing event people make it out to be,” Lexa said, relaxing a little more. She thought for a second and then added, “Though I guess... Um, were you prepared? And, um, safe?”  
  
The questions managed to tug at Clarke's lips, drawing them into a little smile even as she rolled her eyes.  
  
“Yes Mom, we were safe,” she teased, tone suddenly lighter as she joked. “We used a condom and everything.” Lexa returned her smile, feeling a little more at ease now that she'd gotten Clarke to grin. “Good,” she said, and her lips pulled up further. “That is more prepared than Costia and I were our first time, though since neither of us had ever had sex before that kind of protection wasn't exactly as important.” Clarke let out a breath that was almost a laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah, no, I guess you guys don't exactly need to worry about unwanted pregnancies. Lucky.”  
  
“There are pros to being a lesbian,” Lexa agreed, faking seriousness even though she knew Clarke could likely see the grin she tried to fight down. “That is only one of the many.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” Clarke said, lifting an eyebrow, lips still curled up, “What are the other ones?” Lexa's nose scrunched up playfully and she answered immediately, “I don't have to deal with boys. They're gross.” The answer made the blonde laugh, her entire body shaking a little with the force of it, and Lexa's smile softened. Whether she meant to or not Clarke leaned more fully against her shoulder, and without thinking about it Lexa pressed a little closer.  
  
“You're absolutely right,” Clarke agreed, nodding fervently. “Boys are gross. Girls are pretty and boys are gross!” Lexa could almost hear their younger selves chanting the words over and over, and it made her wish they could go back to a time when that's all they needed to know. _Girls are pretty, boys are gross and we'll always be together._ For the moment, there in the tree house, they had slipped back in time and Lexa decided to hold on to it for as long as she could. It might hurt later when she walked away and fell back into the reality where they seldom spoke, but for now she wanted to savor this for as long as she could.  
  
“You don't need to tell me,” she joked, leaning forward a little and bumping into Clarke's shoulder. “I have a girlfriend. You're the one dating a boy.”  
  
“I am,” the other girl said, the words coming out in a long sigh. Lexa gave her a look, wondering why she said it like that, and Clarke clarified, “Don't get me wrong. I really like Finn. He's sweet and kind and good-looking, but sometimes I just get... tired.” When Lexa lifted an eyebrow, silently encouraging her to go on, she sighed again. “Everyone at school seems to think I should be dating Bellamy. Something about how we'd look good together. That whole head cheerleader and quarterback thing.”  
  
“So they want your life to be a trashy rom-com,” Lexa stated, and Clarke flashed her a grin. “Yes, that exactly, because apparently that's how life works. But I'm not with Bellamy. I don't want to be with Bellamy. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl a little. But Finn hears all these people go on about how I should be dating him because he's a football player and Finn isn't, and how cute we'd be and all this really stupid stuff and he gets angry and insecure. Which I get, I do, but still-”  
  
“He should know you,” Lexa cut in, seeing that Clarke was about to go on a tirade. “You aren't the kind of person who stays with someone you don't want to be with or who would ever cheat on someone. He should know that.” Clarke looked at her like she'd just uncovered some big buried secret, surprise flashing across her face before her entire expression softened.  
  
“God I've missed you,” she breathed, the words heavy and quiet, and Lexa felt her chest ache again as her heart skipped a beat at the words.  
  
“I've been right next door,” she just said, trying to say it as a joke but even she could hear the little bite in them. Clarke winced, eyes flashing away and she immediately felt guilty. “I'm sorry,” she murmured, voice softer than it'd been a moment ago. “I didn't mean it like that.” She shrugged, also needing to look away as she added, “You are allowed to make other friends. It's probably good you did. Octavia and Raven seem... nice.” She hoped the jealousy she'd felt over that for the first few years wasn't obvious and waited to see what she would say.  
  
They were both quiet for a long moment, and when Clarke did speak her voice was still soft. “Do you remember how we'd come up here to watch the stars? We'd look for shooting stars and make wishes on them? Whoever found the most won.”  
  
“You always cheated,” Lexa replied, the corners of her mouth pulling up. The blonde's head whipped up, shocked. “I did not!”  
  
“Yes you did!” she insisted. “You always claimed satellites and airplanes were shooting stars and counted them anyway when I said they weren't.”  
  
“Nu uh, I did not,” Clarke told her, shaking her head. “You must be remembering it wrong.”  
  
“You did.” Lexa raised one hand, starting to tick items off as she went down a mental list. “You counted airplanes and satellites, you always peeked when we played hide 'n seek, and you always made me be the patient when we played doctor. Said you needed the practice so you could be like your mom when you got bigger.” She listed them all with a little grin, but as she finished she looked over to Clarke and noticed the smile fall from her face, something dark and sad flashing through her eyes. Lexa frowned, wondering what she had said to cause the sudden change.  
  
“I guess I should have let you be the doctor more,” she tried to joke, but her attempt at a grin didn't reach her eyes. Lexa shifted, turning more fully towards her. “What do you mean? You don't want to be a doctor anymore?” Clarke shrugged, silent, and her eyebrows rose. “Wow. You've always wanted to be a doctor.” When the blonde still didn't say anything, she prodded a little, trying to get more out of her. “What made you change your mind?”  
  
“A couple of things I guess,” Clarke replied, shrugging again. She didn't say anything else, so Lexa asked, “Do you know what you want to do instead?” The question managed to get more of a response, one corner of the blonde's mouth tugging up. “I think so,” she said with a little nod. Her eyes met Lexa's and the brunette saw a spark light up in them. “I kind of want to be an artist. Which is probably a terrible idea-”  
  
“That isn't a terrible idea, Clarke,” Lexa interrupted. “I'm sure you would make an excellent artist.” The blonde flashed her a quick smile before saying, “Maybe. I've gotten into it more and more the past couple of years and I just really love it. It makes me feel kind of free, I guess. It feels good to make something beautiful, you know?”  
  
Lexa let out a little laugh, telling her, “I have no artistic talent, so not really, but I'm glad you've found something you love. As long as you're happy I don't think it really matters what you're doing.”  
  
“We'll see if my mom agrees with that,” Clarke scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I think she wanted me to be a doctor before I even did.”  
  
“Abby just wants you to be happy,” Lexa insisted, shrugging the shoulder Clarke wasn't leaning against. “As long as you're doing what you want she won't care whether you work in a hospital or a studio.”  
  
Despite how dark it had gotten with just the stars and moon out, Lexa still saw the shadow cross Clarke's face, her lips instantly forming into a tight line. “No more hospitals,” she said, her voice heavy, as though something weighed it down. “That might be my mom's world but I don't want it to be mine. I've had enough of them.”  
  
It suddenly dawned on Lexa where this shift had come from, why Clarke looked so incredibly worn down, and she felt like the biggest idiot in the entire world.  
  
“How's your dad doing?” she asked softly, reaching out and lightly touching the other girl's arm. She could see Clarke swallow thickly as though she were pushing down her fear, and Lexa's heart twisted in her chest. “Okay, I think,” she answered, probably trying to sound more optimistic than she looked. Her lips twitched and then turned up just enough to be noticeable. “He's still smiling. It hasn't stopped him. Always smiling and joking. I don't know how he does it.”  
  
“He's strong,” Lexa murmured, her thumb brushing lightly against the other girl's arm. “He's always been strong. He will get through this.” Clarke started to nod but in mere seconds it changed, her head starting to shake back and forth. She turned suddenly and then Lexa's eyes widened as the other girl's head pressed into the crook of her shoulder. Clarke's fingers gripped at her shirt so tightly she could feel the material stretch and her arms automatically wrapped around her shoulders. Holding the blonde against her, she could feel her suddenly shaking and her grip just got tighter.  
  
“I'm so scared,” she heard Clarke whisper, the words almost lost against her neck. “I'm so scared Lexa. I don't, don't know what to do. I'm trying but I just... I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him.” Shifting a little, one of Lexa's hands moved to the back of her head, running her fingers through her hair slowly as her cheek pressed against blonde locks.  
  
“You're alright, Clarke,” she murmured softly, turning her head so she could whisper the words in the other girl's ear. “I've got you.” The other girl continued to shake against her and her heart shattered into pieces as she just held her tighter. “You will get through this. I know you will.”  
  
“How?” Clarke wanted to know, possibly just pressing herself harder against Lexa. “I can barely breathe I'm so scared, how do I get through this?”  
  
Lexa had never experienced this kind of fear, but she was all too familiar with the suffocation of loss.  
  
“Help your dad keep fighting,” she answered, trying to pour as much strength into her words as she could. “Make sure he knows he isn't fighting alone. Don't let him stop smiling and don't stop either.” A world without Clarke Griffin's smile wasn't a world worth living in. Not to Lexa. “Let your friends help you.” She paused for a moment. “Let me help you.”  
  
“You are my friend Lexa,” she heard spoken in a voice so soft she had to press her ear a little closer to hear it. “I know we, I know it might not seem like it, but you are. You've always been my friend. That never changed.”  
  
_Something changed, I just don't know what it was,_ Lexa thought, but she kept it to herself. The last thing she wanted was to make Clarke feel worse right now, so instead she just murmured, “You've always been my friend too, Clarke.” She felt the blonde nod against her but otherwise not move, so she just held her, perfectly content to do whatever Clarke needed to help her. A warm feeling spread throughout her chest, a little smile pulling at her lips as she remained tightly wrapped around the girl who had at one point in her life been her best friend, her whole world.  
  
They stayed like that for a while, Lexa giving the blonde her support in the best way she knew how, until the other girl finally pulled back a little. Her heart fell for a moment, expecting this to be it, believing now that Clarke was pulling away it was time to return to reality, but it lifted again as she met bright eyes she wasn't entirely sure she had truly looked into for at least eight years.  
  
“Do you want to look for shooting stars?” the other girl just asked, her voice small, and Lexa could see the hopeful expression flashing across her face. She smiled slowly and then nodded, and her smile grew as Clarke beamed.  
  
“I even have a blanket,” she replied, gesturing to the blanket beside her on the floor. She wasn't entirely sure when she'd dropped it, but apparently Clarke hadn't noticed it at all. She let out a laugh, head tilting up slightly, and Lexa's smile softened. She'd forgotten how beautiful Clarke was when she laughed.  
  
“Just like old times,” the blonde said, shaking her head, and Lexa nodded. “Yes,” she agreed, grabbing the blanket beside her and shaking it out as she eyed Clarke's t-shirt and jeans, unimpressed. “Sixteen and you still don't remember to bring anything up here to keep you warm.”  
  
“I brought you up here didn't I?” Clarke countered, grabbing the corner of the blanket Lexa handed her. “You always make sure I don't get cold.” Together they shook out the blanket and then spread it over them before they both leaned back. Lying on the floor now, Lexa ignored the stars and looked over to the blonde.  
  
“How are you feeling?” she asked softly, all traces of joking aside. She felt more than saw the other girl shrug before she replied simply, “A little sore. Emotionally drained.” Her lips quirked up then before she glanced over, meeting Lexa's eyes. “Better now. Thanks.”  
  
“Any time,” Lexa swore, knowing without a doubt she meant it. Even now she would still be there for Clarke, no matter what. Her fingers itched suddenly, her pinky twitching to reach out between them, but instead she held it back and turned to look up at the stars. She felt entirely at ease laying beneath a blanket with the blonde under the night sky, and let the peace of the moment surround them.  
  
Suddenly that peace broke a little as Clarke let out a little chuckle.  
  
“Hey Lex? You're right; I totally counted satellites and airplanes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who hasn't seen it, _Girl Next Door_ is now uploaded, and I will be updating it with chapter two tomorrow, so be on the lookout! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

“She's a Stark, the quiz proves it,” Costia stated, pointing to the cell phone now laying between her and Lexa. “How can you not get that? Loyalty and honor are their main traits: that basically defines her.”  
  
“Oh come on,” Anya scoffed on Lexa's other side, rolling her eyes. “Sure, the Starks are loyal and honorable, but they take it too far. Do you really think Lexa would have been dumb enough to tell Cersei she knows her kids were bastards and that the queen was sleeping with her brother? No way. If Dany and Drogo's baby had lived and it had been a girl, it basically would have _been_ Lexa. That makes her a Targaryen.”  
  
Lexa sat back in her chair, eyes flicking back and forth between her girlfriend and best friend as they argued over with _Game of Thrones_ house she belonged in. The conversation had started when they first sat down to lunch and they'd easily agreed on their own houses – Costia a Tully and Anya a Martell – but when it came to placing the brunette, they refused to agree, each dead-set on their own thought. Costia was the one who had told Lexa to find a quiz online to settle it, but Anya kept arguing that the quiz didn't know her as well as her best friend. Whenever Lexa tried to say anything one or both of them just talked over her, so she finally decided to just keep quiet and let them fight it out. On the other side of the table, Echo, Ryder and Nyko seemed to have tuned them out as they carried on their own conversation.  
  
“The Targaryens are crazy,” Costia pointed out, giving Anya a look. “What are you saying about her?”  
  
“ _Everyone_ is a little crazy in those books,” Anya argued. “And only some of the Targaryens are actually crazy. Dany isn't and Drogo wasn't so she wouldn't be either. She's quiet and strong like Drogo and fierce like Dany. She's a Targaryen.”  
  
“Hey guys,” they all heard, and Lexa was thankful when the two stopped bickering as Monroe stopped by their table, grabbing a free chair and turning it around. Sitting down, she leaned against the back of it and gave Lexa a smirk. “One week till the big day: how ya feeling Commander?”  
  
Lexa's brow rose in mild interest, her shoulders just barely shrugging. “Fine,” she replied, and Monroe let out a laugh. “'Course you are. Ontari better watch it when she steps out on that mat. Azgeda can't intimidate our Commander!”  
  
“But she can intimidate them,” Echo spoke up, using her fork to push around the peas on her tray without looking at them. As everyone turned to her, she quirked an eyebrow. “She never admitted it obviously, but Ontari always gets nervous before a match. She knows what a tough opponent you are.” The Azgeda-transfer nodded to Anya, adding, “Between the Commander and the General, they all know Polis is a tough team to beat.”  
  
“Good,” Anya stated, the corners of her lips turning up into a feral grin. “Then they will be expecting it when we kick their ass.”  
  
“Hell yeah we will,” Monroe agreed, lightly bumping Anya's shoulder with her fist. “I can't wait to see their faces.” Standing up, she turned the chair back around and pushed it back against the table as she nodded to them. “See you at practice.”  
  
“See ya,” a few of them echoed, tossing the good-bye over their shoulders and getting back to their conversations as she walked away, but Lexa's gaze followed her as she crossed the cafeteria. As she sat down at another table greeted loudly by those around it, Lexa caught a pair of blue eyes as they turned towards her. Clarke's smile grew and then she nodded, just a simple acknowledgment of the brunette, but Lexa's heart fluttered lightly. She returned the nod, her own lips tugging up into a little smile, and held those blue eyes until someone said something at the other table and tore the blonde's focus away from her. For another few moments she watched, glad to see the other girl looking so relaxed, before she too turned back to her own group.  
  
Ever since their tree house meeting a week ago, something had shifted between her and Clarke. They still didn't talk much, never shared more than a quick hello in the hallway in passing, but somehow it felt different. This was the fifth day in a row they'd somehow made eye contact in the lunch room and almost every night they'd shared a few quick messages back and forth at their windows before giving up on their homework. It was the most contact they'd had since the third grade and even though she knew she shouldn't, Lexa couldn't help but get her hopes up that maybe it would keep changing. The tree house made her realize that despite basically ignoring each other for almost ten years, Clarke was still one of the easiest people for her to talk to.  
  
While she thought about Clarke, Anya and Costia had fallen back into their argument over what house she belonged in, and her attention finally pulled back when Echo spoke up, cutting them both off.  
  
“Alright alright we get it, you two are never going to agree,” she said, looking between the two of them. “Can we move on please? If you need to talk about what house our Commander belongs in, can you at least switch over to something we all know? What Hogwarts house would she be in?”  
  
“Ravenclaw,” they answered at the same time, eyeing each other a second after in clear shock they actually agreed. Looking over at Echo again, Costia added, “And seriously Echo, you should read the _Song of Ice and Fire_ books; they're amazing.” The other girl frowned. “I thought you said it was _Game of Thrones_?”  
  
“That's the title of the first book and the show,” Anya answered, finally paying attention to the food in front of her and taking a bite of her apple. “The book series is called _A Song of Ice and Fire_.”  
  
“They are very good,” Lexa added, finally contributing to the conversation now that she wouldn't get yelled at from either of the girls beside her for siding with the other. “The author has done some amazing world building and created many multi-dimensional characters.”  
  
As the lunch period progressed, the three continued talking about the books and their favorite characters, Ryder and Nyko adding to the conversation every now and then while Echo tried to pay attention. They were so wrapped up in it that when the bell signaling the end of the lunch period rang, they were all surprised. Almost as one they rose, pushing their chairs back and grabbing at their trays until the static of the intercoms came on, stopping them all.  
  
“Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake and Raven Reyes, please report to the principal's office,” they all heard, the secretary's voice ringing throughout the school. A collective _ooo_ resounded from those around the blonde's table, and Lexa glanced over to see the cheerleader rolling her eyes at her friends. Before she could do more than wonder quickly what was going on, Costia's hand slipped into her own, tugging her attention back to those around her.  
  
“So all this GOT talk has me in the mood to watch the show,” her girlfriend decided as she led the way first to the trashcans to throw away their trash and get rid of their trays and then out to the hall. “Maybe this weekend we could do a little marathon at my house? Echo, you should come; maybe seeing the show will make you want to read the books.”  
  
“Sure,” the other girl agreed with a shrug, “I've got nothing else to do.”  
  
“Great,” Costia said with a grin, and then glanced over to Anya. “And after you've seen some of it you can use your unbiased opinion to agree with me and tell Anya Lexa's a Stark.” Lexa let out a silent sigh while Anya rolled her eyes.  
  
“Nice try Greene but you're wrong,” she told her. “Nothing you say and no one you try to convince otherwise is going to change that.”  
  
With a few nods and “See you later”s Ryder, Nyko and Echo broke away from the group, each heading in a different direction to get to their next class. Lexa, Costia and Anya continued together until they all stopped in front of Costia's science class.  
  
“See you after fencing,” she said, leaning forward and pecking Lexa's cheek with a light kiss. “Don't let Anya try to brainwash you, you're a Stark.”  
  
“Yes dear,” Lexa joked, squeezing Costia's hand and returning the kiss. The other girl gave her a wink and then stuck her tongue out at Anya over the brunette's shoulder before turning and making her way into her classroom. Turning around, Lexa found Anya raising an eyebrow at her. “You're Dany and Drogo's kid, deal with it.”  
  
“Yes dear,” she repeated, quirking her own eyebrow in return, and one corner of the other girl's lips twitched. “Don't get cheeky with me, I'll kick your ass,” she growled, trying to act tough, but Lexa could see her fighting not to smile. “Whatever you say, General,” the brunette gave in, shrugging a shoulder, and Anya nodded as they began making their way towards their own classroom. For a moment they walked in silence, easily dodging the between-period traffic, until Anya broke that silence.  
  
“So what's going on with you and Griffin?” she suddenly asked, the lightness of their previous conversation gone. Lexa saw her look over out of the corner of her eye and made sure her expression didn't so much as twitch.  
  
“What do you mean?” she replied, faking innocence, and Anya just gave her a look. “You know exactly what I mean. You two aren't as subtle with your secret cafeteria smiles as you think you are. Talk.”  
  
“Some people do not find smiling to be particularly difficult,” Lexa tried, quirking an eyebrow at the other girl. “Sometimes we even smile at people who aren't in our direct vicinity.” Anya's expression didn't waver, her focus never leaving the brunette, and Lexa let out a silent sigh. “Nothing's going on, Anya,” she told her. “Clarke and I are just being friendly.”  
  
“Last I knew you two never spoke,” Anya stated, clearly studying her as the brunette continued staring forward. “What changed?”  
  
“Nothing changed,” Lexa replied, tilting her head a little higher. Anya may be her best friend, but she wouldn't share what had happened in the tree house. The conversation she and Clarke had was too personal, too private to tell anyone else. She trusted Anya with her own secrets, but not with the blonde's. “We're neighbor's; I guess we just decided to start being more neighborly towards each other. That's it.”  
  
She could feel Anya still studying her as they turned into their next class, Kane already up at the board and starting to write out notes for the day's topic, but she didn't turn towards her. Instead she moved straight to her seat, shrugging her bag from her shoulders and placing it on the floor as she slid into the chair. As she began to dig through the bag to find her history book and notebook, Anya took her spot next to her. Neither said anything else, apparently letting the conversation go, and Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. She had nothing to hide, not really, but this re-kindling of her friendship with Clarke felt too new, too fragile to talk about with Anya. The other girl would want to know specifics and reasons she didn't have or couldn't tell her, and that was only likely to put a strain on their own friendship. Right now it was better to keep this new development with Clarke to herself.  
  
Except that sometimes life has a way of destroying even the best laid plans.  
  
Just as the last few people were filing into the room and Kane was turning around to begin, somebody else came barging through the doorway. Lexa frowned as she looked over at Aden, her brother's bag hanging haphazardly from the crook of his elbow and his chest rising and falling quickly. He scanned the room quickly, apparently ignoring the many pairs of eyes turned to him, until he found her. “Lexa!” he exclaimed, hurrying over to her desk.  
  
“Excuse me Mr. Woods, but whatever this is now isn't the time-” Kane began to say, but Aden entirely ignored him. “Lexa, Clarke, I just saw her at the office. I think something's happened to her dad!”  
  
For exactly one second, Lexa remained frozen in her seat, unable to move. Her blood flashed cold and then immediately began boiling, and the next moment she was out of her chair almost too fast for anyone to follow.  
  
“Miss Woods, come back here!” she heard Kane calling after her, but she didn't pause long enough to let the words sink in. She didn't grab her book or her bag, didn't notice any of the strange looks any of her classmates were giving her, didn't even look back at Aden; exactly one second after her brother got the words out she was out of the room, racing down the hallway. Leaving like this must certainly mean detention, but she didn't give her perfect attendance and reputation a passing thought.  
  
Never before in her life had she made it down the hall and single stairwell in under thirty seconds, but today she did. Suddenly she was on the first floor and the principal's office was just ahead, and the moment she saw it she simply moved faster. Closer to it now, she saw a blonde figure standing just outside the door, their principal beside her with his hand on her shoulder and Octavia watching her helplessly, but she didn't give either of them a passing glance.  
  
The echo of her hurried footsteps reached the three of them before she did, and Octavia and Principal Wallace looked up to find her running towards them. For a second Clarke just stared ahead, as though she couldn't hear them, but as she got closer she finally looked up. The moment she saw the approaching figure she leaped forward.  
  
“Lexa!” she cried, eyes wild and unfocused, and it terrified the brunette to see just how pale she looked. She didn't stop until Clarke all but slammed against her, her nails nearly clawing at her back with how tightly she gripped her shirt and burying her head against Lexa's shoulder. The brunette's arms wrapped around hers just as tightly, even more afraid when she realized just how hard the other girl was shaking. More footsteps continued moving towards them even as Lexa stopped and she realized her brother had followed her, but she didn't glance back.  
  
“I'm here,” she whispered quickly, pressing herself closer to Clarke, trying to hold her even tighter. “It's okay.” Glancing past her, she looked at Principal Wallace and Octavia, both clearly surprised to see her though he did a far better job of hiding it than the other brunette did. “What happened?” she nearly spat, glaring at them both.  
  
“Uh, h-her dad, he fell,” Octavia began, eyes wide as she looked at the two of them. Principal Wallace took over for her, telling the new arrival calmly, “Clarke's father fell and hit his head. He has been rushed to the hospital. From what we understand he was unconscious when the ambulance got there.”  
  
Clarke's grip around her squeezed and Lexa thought she heard a muted sob come from her. The sound tore at something inside her, made some beast she hadn't known lived in her chest wail, and she held her protectively. “What are we waiting for?” she bit out, glaring at the two. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she probably shouldn't be speaking like this to her principal, but far more important at this moment was Clarke and making sure she was alright and had everything she needed. That also meant making sure everyone else did whatever was necessary to make that happen, and if he wasn't going to do that then he better get out of her way.  
  
It seemed that they were on the same page however, when his head dipped down a little and he gestured to the front entrance only a few yards away.  
  
“Miss Reyes has already left to get her car to take her to the hospital to meet her mother,” he replied easily. “Miss Blake will be going with them.”  
  
“So will I,” Lexa stated, practically daring him to argue. She held his gaze for a second, not backing down as he scanned her face, and then looked to the side where she could see her brother standing, worry etched into his face. “Aden, go to class,” she told him, making the boy jump a little at having been addressed directly. “Have Anya and Lincoln give you a ride home. I'll text you later.” He opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it at her glare. Instead he nodded, righting his backpack over his shoulder, and sent one more worried glance to the blonde who still hadn't pulled her face from the crook of his sister's shoulder before turning and shuffling away.  
  
With her brother taken care of and Wallace not arguing with her, Lexa carefully began to pry herself away from Clarke, pulling away only far enough so she could look into the blonde's face. “Hey,” she murmured, her voice immediately softening. “Come on Clarke, look at my eyes.” With the gentle coaxing, blue eyes looked up to meet her own, and something painful got caught in Lexa's throat when she saw the amount of fear staring back at her. “We don't know anything yet,” she continued, making sure her voice stayed soft and gentle. “He's probably fine, there's no reason to panic. We're going to go to the hospital and find your mom, and then we'll find Jake. Okay?” She felt Clarke grip her shirt tighter at the word “hospital”, but even so the blonde began to nod incredibly slowly, as though forcing herself to agree.  
  
“Don't leave me,” she heard Clarke whisper, her voice barely audible and the few words broken, as though she'd had to fight to get them out. Something snapped inside of Lexa at the sound, terror and pain raging through her, and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead roughly against the other girl's. “I'm right here,” she promised, silently swearing to never break that promise. “I'm right here.”  
  
Finally Raven barged through the door, shoving it open, and the four girls all left the school, piling into her car. Lexa didn't miss the confused look the new girl shot over to Octavia, clearly wondering what she was doing here and why Clarke was clinging to her so tightly, but neither of the two brunettes said anything. Lexa coaxed the blonde into the backseat, Clarke's hand immediately slipping into hers the moment they had to part, and once in the car she sat as close to the brunette as possible without quite being in her lap. Octavia took shot gun while Raven drove, and every few seconds Lexa could feel one or the both of them shooting the two glances in the rear-view mirror but she never so much as looked at them. She was too busy holding onto Clarke, trying to get her to stop shaking and whispering words of reassurance and encouragement as Raven sped to the hospital.  
  
Clarke pulled back a little once they got there and were getting out of the car, her eyes darting over the large building and Lexa noticed her get even paler. She squeezed the blonde's hand, entirely aware of how Clarke felt about hospitals and the terror she must be feeling, and shifted closer to her, until they stood shoulder to shoulder. She gave the other girl just a moment to put off going inside, knowing that once they did there was no going back no matter what they found, and then tugged lightly on her hand.  
  
“Come on, Clarke,” she murmured, nodding towards the building, “Let's go find your mother.” The blonde swallowed thickly and then nodded, and then Octavia and Raven led the way into the hospital, Lexa and Clarke bringing up the rear. Lexa could feel the other girl's trembling increase, and forced herself to remain calm, hoping it would help Clarke keep it together.  
  
Lexa had been worried they would have to search to find Abby or someone who knew where she was, but it wasn't the case. Almost as soon as they stepped inside she saw the doctor pacing anxiously, and the near franticness of her movement caused Lexa's heart to constrict, fear creeping up her spine. Clarke clearly felt the same, immediately stopping and stiffening the moment she saw her mother, but when Abby looked up to see them relief spread across her face.  
  
“Clarke,” she let out in a heavy breath, quickly striding over to them. The blonde released Lexa's hand in order to wrap her arms around her mother, and as soon as she let go the brunette's hand felt empty, less complete. The mother and daughter held each other tightly for a long moment, the other three girls watching on with hearts racing anxiously in their chests, until Abby pulled back just a little.  
  
“He's alright,” she started, and Lexa instantly felt something tight in her gut loosen. The doctor looked at her daughter and then over the three of them, probably too distracted at the moment to be surprised by Lexa's presence. “He got light-headed at home and fell down the stairs and was unconscious for a while, but he's had a CT scan and the doctors say other than a minor concussion and some nasty bruises he's fine. They think it was a reaction to some of the chemo meds and not eating enough, so they're going to be adjusting the meds and I will be putting him on a strict diet of when and how much to eat. They want to keep him overnight to monitor the concussion and make sure it isn't any worse than they think, but he should be able to come back home tomorrow.” Looking back down at her daughter and clearly seeing the fear still lingering in her eyes, she cupped her cheek, gently brushing her thumb against it. “He's okay, Clarke. Really; he's okay.”  
  
Clarke let out a shuttering breath but nodded. “Can I see him?” she managed to ask, her voice still trembling with the fear that had been coursing through her for so long, and Lexa yearned to reach out and hold her again, to try to comfort her. She had her mother for that at the moment though, someone probably far better at it than her, so she held herself back. Abby nodded, but said, “You can, but only for a little while, and just you.” She looked over to the other three apologetically, telling them, “He needs his rest, and too many people in the room could just cause him stress.”  
  
“Yeah, no worries Abby,” Raven replied, nodding quickly. “That's fine, we'll just wait out here.” Octavia looked at Clarke and gave her a small smile. “Go tell him we expect him to feel better soon.”  
  
“And that I'll turn those stairs into a ramp if I have to,” Raven added, “To keep him from falling down them again.” Abby smiled slightly at the joke, but Clarke barely acknowledged it, looking from her two best friends over to Lexa. The other girl forced herself to smile, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt, and murmured, “Go ahead, Clarke.” The blonde studied her for just a second and then nodded, and her mother led her out of the waiting room and down the hall.  
  
The three brunettes made their way over to a few chairs, settling themselves in until they would be needed again. Lexa's nerves still buzzed as she sat, the adrenaline that had begun pumping through her system nearly as soon as Aden found her in history class still not wearing down. It felt like she had more energy now than she had in the entire last year of her life combined, so sitting still became a challenge. Clearly it was just as difficult for the other two, one of Octavia's legs instantly beginning to jiggle while Raven's finger tapped against the wooden arm of her chair, but she tried to ignore them both. She considered trying to meditate to try to center herself, but knew she wasn't in the right state of mind for it to be successful, so like any teenage girl she went to the next best thing. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she looked down at the screen, finding three new texts.  
  
**Anya (1:16 PM): Sure, “neighborly”.**  
  
**Anya (1:19 PM): I have your bag. I'll give Aden a ride home and send it with him.**  
  
**Costia (1:43 PM): Is everything ok? Everyones saying something happened with Clarke and you ran to help. Whats going on?**  
  
Letting out a sigh, she replied to Costia first, trying to figure out exactly what to say.  
  
**Lexa <3 (2:02 PM): Yeah, everything's okay. Clarke's dad is in the hospital so I came to see if I can help with anything. I'll explain more later.**  
  
She didn't exactly know how or what she would explain later, but she left it at that. Looking at Anya's texts, she rubbed her forehead, trying to get rid of a headache she could feel coming on before replying.  
  
**Lexa (2:05 PM): Thanks Anya, I appreciate it. I already told Aden to get a ride with you, so he should be looking for you after practice anyway. I owe you.**  
  
She decided to leave it at that and ignore Anya's first text, and then dropped her phone in her lap. Tilting her head back, she let it rest against the wall until she felt her phone buzz against her leg. Looking down, she read Anya's text.  
  
**Anya (2:08 PM): I hope you know Indra's going to kill you for missing practice. You better be ready to kiss ass big time until next week's match.**  
  
Lexa groaned, dropping her phone back to her lap without replying. She hadn't thought about fencing practice – she hadn't really thought about anything other than Clarke and taking care of her – but she knew Anya was right: Indra would be furious when she wasn't there. She expected one hundred percent attendance, especially the last two weeks before a meet, and the fact that she was a co-captain with Anya meant even more was expected of her. If she wanted Indra to still let her compete against Azgeda next week, she was going to have to work ten times harder than ever before to prove to her coach she deserved it. As someone who was hard to impress on her best day, convincing Indra wouldn't be easy.  
  
“So,” she heard suddenly, the voice breaking through her thoughts. Looking over to Raven out of the corner of her eye, she saw the other girl giving her a look, her head tilted a little. “Since when are you and Clarke so close?”  
  
“We're not,” she answered, refusing to really look at either of them. “We're just neighbors.”  
  
“Obviously you are,” Raven argued, folding her arms in front of her. The movement wasn't aggressive but more curious, and she looked at Lexa as though she were trying to solve a difficult puzzle. “I left to get the car and Clarke couldn't speak, wasn't really reacting to any of us. I come back and she's holding onto you like you're her lifeline or something.”  
  
“It's true,” Octavia agreed, also looking over at her, just as curious as her friend. “I'd been trying to get her to talk since Raven left and got nowhere, and then you came running and Clarke went right to you. We've been her best friends since the third grade and she wouldn't talk to us, but her neighbor shows up and and that's who she clings to? I mean, I know you two were friends before, but still...”  
  
Lexa had to bite her tongue to keep her thoughts to herself, her jaw clenching momentarily as she made sure she had a handle on her emotions. When she knew she wouldn't give anything away, she answered simply, “We were close. A long time ago. I thought I could help.”  
  
“You did,” Octavia assured her, her curiosity melting away a little as something like relief flashed across her face. “Seriously, you really did. When Wallace told us what happened, I thought she was going to faint.” Looking towards the hallway the mother and daughter had disappeared down, her expression fell, worry tugging at her brow. “I've never seen her so scared. If anything happens to Jake...”  
  
“Nothing's going to happen,” Raven told her, her tone hard. Lexa glanced at her, a little surprised by the immediate reaction, and Octavia noticed. “He's kind of like our dad too,” she explained quietly, giving a little shrug. “Neither of us have one, and Jake, he's just... I don't know. It's almost like he adopted us.” Raven looked away, probably unable to meet Lexa's eyes as Octavia told the almost stranger something so personal about them. She glanced between the two friends, understanding entirely, and then looked towards the hall herself.  
  
“He's a good guy,” she stated quietly, thinking about the many times he'd made her laugh whenever she'd ventured over to the Griffin household. “He's always been like that.”  
  
They fell back into silence after that, each sinking into their own thoughts. Just as she'd promised, she sent a couple of quick texts to Aden, assuring him everything was okay and that she'd be home later and reminding him to do his homework when he got home. After checking in with her brother she sent another text to her father, letting him know where she was and what was going on with as few details as possible. She could barely explain to herself why it was she'd gone running the moment she'd heard about Jake, so she really didn't know how to explain it to anyone else.  
  
Once she'd finished checking in with everyone she needed to, she stuffed her phone back in her pocket and leaned back, letting her head rest against the wall. People filed in and out of the waiting room, some with obvious injuries, others clearly trying to figure out paperwork or waiting for a loved one, and she tried to ignore them all. The adrenaline of needing to take care of Clarke began to ware off, and in its place some new kind of energy began pumping through her, her heart now beating quickly for an entirely different reason. As a woman with a young boy filtered by, following a nurse down the hall, she had to clench her eyes shut. It had been easy to ignore exactly where it was they were going when she had other things to focus on, but now sitting here and just waiting meant she had nothing to distract her. Like Clarke she hated hospitals, due to one very specific and painful memory.  
  
The three of them had been sitting there for nearly an hour when Octavia and Raven's phones began constantly buzzing. They'd gone off every now and then since getting to the hospital and Lexa had ignored them, focusing on her own messages and trying to forget where she was, but when they barely stopped buzzing it became harder to ignore.  
  
“Finn wants to be here,” Raven stated, obviously talking to her friend even as she stared at her phone, reading the many texts she was getting. “He wants to know what's going on and see Clarke.”  
  
“She's busy right now,” Octavia replied, staring at her own phone, and Lexa noticed the other girl's eyes roll. “I _know_ that, obviously she's busy, but what should I tell him?”  
  
“I don't know, I'm trying to keep Bell from just showing up,” Octavia told her, furiously typing away at the same time. “And Monty wants to know what he can do to help, and Jasper keeps asking what's happening every five minutes. They're driving me a little crazy.”  
  
Having absolutely no desire to be around when their circus of friends showed up, Lexa stood. “I'm going to try to find some tea,” she stated. She debated asking either of them if they needed anything, but decided against it. If they did she'd just have to come back and then wouldn't have any good excuse to leave again. Octavia shot her a quick smile and Raven just nodded, still typing as her phone buzzed yet again with what was likely a new message from Clarke's boyfriend.  
  
Heading down a hallway, Lexa made sure to look nowhere but in front of her, looking for signs for the hospital cafeteria. Even so she still saw doctors and patients as she passed them, the medical professionals usually with their faces in files while the patients wore any number of expressions. Sporadically along the hallway she found chairs and little couches, and every now and then somebody sat in them, the loved ones of people obviously being seen to. Some of those waiting were relaxed, obviously not there for any major emergency, while others sat anxiously, legs jiggling, hands clenched into fists, even tears in their eyes. Each person she passed made the lump in her throat grow bigger and her heartbeat pick up, memories she'd rather forget flashing through her mind. At one point she passed by a woman with tears streaming down her face and she wondered if she even knew she was crying. With the way she stared straight ahead, unblinking, she doubted it.  
  
Her pace picked up a little after that, finding it harder to breathe. She could remember that stare. She remembered the words that had caused it and the disbelief. She remembered Aden beside her, not entirely able to understand what they were being told and just how entirely everything had changed in the quickest of seconds, and she remembered the doctor having to repeat it to try to make him understand. It had been her job to explain it to him, her job to make sure her little brother was okay as they were told they'd lost their mother, but she hadn't been able to do so much as move. For a long moment the eight year-old had sat there, unblinking, as the enormity of what they'd lost swept through her and crushed her in ways she'd never understood were possible. All those memories flooded back through her and it took everything within Lexa not to flee out of the hospital and run back to her house, hide under her covers, and try to keep the rest of the world out.  
  
Finally she managed to find the cafeteria. Getting a cup of tea, she found an empty table and sat, looking around as she did so. Here it was at least a little easier to forget where she was, so she forced herself to drink her tea slowly, trying to calm herself down. The tea itself wasn't great, far too watered down and only mildly warm, but at least it gave her something to do. After drinking about half of it, she pulled her legs up on the chair, folding them together a little awkwardly as she tried to balance, and then closed her eyes. Taking a deep, even breath, she tried to clear her mind. Hopefully meditating would help calm her down, so for the moment she did nothing but focus on her breathing.  
  
She lost track of time, getting a little lost in the meditation, and so was surprised when she heard someone sit at the table across from her. Cracking one eye open and then both, she immediately dropped the meditation to instead focus on Clarke.  
  
“How is he?” she asked, scanning the blonde's face. She looked tired, understandably, but Lexa was glad to see a little more color had returned to her complexion.  
  
“Okay, I think,” she answered with a little shrug, her voice sounding almost as tired as she looked. “He's resting now, and he's got a black eye and a bad scrape on his chin, but they say he should be fine.”  
  
“Good,” Lexa said, and then she reached across the table, lightly taking the other girl's hand. Trying to read blue eyes, she asked, “What about you? How are you, Clarke?” One corner of the blonde's lips twitched up just barely, and she gave another half-hearted shrug. “Alright. Tired, still a little scared, but alright.” Lexa's thumb brushed along her knuckles and she gripped the hand, holding it almost like a life-line. “Thanks for coming. I really just... I'm not so sure I would have been able to do this without you.”  
  
“You didn't need me, Clarke,” Lexa murmured as she leaned forward, wanting to be closer to her oldest friend. “You're strong; you would have gotten through this.”  
  
“You make me feel stronger,” Clarke told her sincerely, and the brunette heard something in her voice she couldn't define. “You always have.” The words tugged at Lexa's chest, made her stomach drop almost like she were riding a roller coaster, but she felt herself smile softly. “You've always made me feel stronger, too.”  
  
They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, hands clasped on top of the table and sitting comfortably in the silence together. Each needed the quiet, used it to help calm the thoughts and feelings tumbling in their head and gut, and then Clarke leaned forward, her other arm resting on the table and her head then resting on that. She closed her eyes and Lexa watched her, lips turned up in a tiny smile as the blonde relaxed more fully in front of her.  
  
“Octavia and Raven left,” she said suddenly, eyes still closed. “They went to get my car from school. They're meeting the gang to let them know what's going on.”  
  
“They aren't coming here?” Lexa asked, a little surprised. Not entirely sure she wanted the answer, she added, “Even Finn?”  
  
To her relief, the blonde shook her head lightly, still resting it against her arm.  
  
“No,” she answered, “I don't have the energy to deal with any of them right now, even Finn. I know they all just want to help, but I really just need the quiet. Plus I know they'd all want to see my dad, and there's no way we'd be able to sneak everyone in his room. Dad would be all for it, but it'd just make the doctors mad and worry my mom.” Lexa nodded slowly, certainly believing that group would disrupt the rest Jake needed, but frowned slightly. “Would you like me to go?” she asked, not particularly wanting to but also not wanting to be in the way. Clarke's grip on her hand tightened for a brief second, and then her eyes opened, blue instantly finding green.  
  
“I was actually hoping you'd stay for a little while?” she said, the hope and worry she'd say no obvious in her tone. “Mom went home to get some things and I was hoping you'd stay until she came back?” She looked away briefly and then looked back, licking her lips before adding quietly, “I just don't want to be alone, you know?”  
  
“You're not alone,” Lexa promised, returning the blonde's tight grip. “I will stay for as long as you want me.” The relief in Clarke's smile made the pain from being in a hospital again worth it.  
  
After another couple of seconds sitting together, the cheerleader let out a long sigh before picking her head up. Standing, she pulled the brunette's hand with her, saying, “Come on. I don't want to leave him alone for very long.” Lexa nodded, getting up right behind her, and let the other girl lead her out of the cafeteria and into the hall.  
  
Letting Clarke lead them in the direction of Jake's room, Lexa tried to ignore those they passed in the hallway again, but when she passed the same crying woman from earlier, her tears having turned more heavily into sobs, she inadvertently pressed closer to the blonde. Her throat burned, sorrow for the woman and for herself building in her chest, and found herself squeezing Clarke's hand tighter. She glanced over at Lexa, clearly seeing something in her expression, and then glanced at the woman. Understanding flashed across her face, and she held the brunette's hand tighter and pulled her closer.  
  
“It's okay,” she murmured, the words solely for Lexa. “I'm right here.”  
  
“I know,” the other girl replied, her tone heavy with the emotion she couldn't quite push down. “You were then too.” She remembered that too, Clarke's hand holding tightly to her own just as it did now, her arms wrapped around Lexa's thin body as the tears came hot and fast. Her best friend and her parents taking her and Aden in until someone could get in contact with their father and tell him what had happened. Clarke and the Griffins had saved them, and no matter what happened Lexa would never be able to repay them for that. “I don't think I would have been able to get through that without you. You saved me back then.” Clarke said nothing, just gripped her hand, and Lexa gripped it right back.  
  
Eventually they made it to Jake's room and Clarke eased the door open quietly when they did. Looking inside, Lexa found him laying in a bed, a single tube hooked to him and his chin pressed lightly to his shoulder as he slept. The black eye Clarke mentioned earlier turned a good portion of his face a dark purple with almost a vibrant red ring along its edges, and a bandage covered his chin, but otherwise he looked far better than Lexa had been afraid he would. He'd lost weight since the last time she saw him and he looked tired, but she figured it could all be much worse.  
  
“Come on,” Clarke murmured, tugging on her hand again, and Lexa let her lead her over to a couple of chairs lining the wall. The blonde sat in one and Lexa let her pull her to the other, and then they let the silence wash over them again.  
  
With the stress of the day, Lexa wasn't entirely surprised when Clarke fell asleep after sitting in silence for almost fifteen minutes. It began with her head nodding and then darting back up, the blonde obviously trying to keep herself awake, but finally her exhaustion won over and her head fell forward, not picking back up this time. Lexa smiled softly over at her, glad the other girl was finally able to get some rest, and gently squeezed her hand. Clarke shifted and she froze, afraid the movement had woken her up, but then the blonde turned over in her chair, her head moving directly to Lexa's shoulder and her side pressing as close to the brunette's as she could get. Lexa stiffened for a second, worried even the smallest move might wake her up, but as the seconds ticked by and the blonde remained asleep, she began to relax. She wished she had a blanket or a jacket or something to cover the other girl with to fight off the slight chill of the hospital, but settled for letting their body heat do the trick. After not moving for so long her neck began to feel stiff, so very gently she let her cheek rest against the top of Clarke's head, and when that didn't wake her up she relaxed entirely.  
  
Lexa's eyes were just starting to droop when movement from Jake's bed pulled at her attention. She looked over, head lifting a little as he slowly woke up. He looked around, probably trying to orient himself, and then turned towards them, and Lexa felt her heartbeat quicken, wondering what he would think when he saw her. They hadn't seen each other in years and this seemed like a strange kind of reunion.  
  
To her surprise, almost the second he saw her, his mouth curled up into an easy grin.  
  
“I was wondering when we'd see you again,” he said, his voice a little scratchy after his nap. Glancing at the blonde still asleep against her shoulder, he tilted his head. “Thanks for taking care of our girl.”  
  
Just like that, Lexa smiled, feeling right at home despite where they were.  
  
“Any time,” she replied, making him a promise she intended to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely see Lexa as the child Dany and Drogo should have had. I even have a really basic idea for a fic of it I probably won't ever write. So yeah, I'm with Anya on that one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the longest chapter of this story. Hope you enjoy!

Outside the locker room, Lexa could hear the general mayhem of a couple hundred people excitedly waiting for the tournament to start. The noise was dull, muted by the walls and space between the locker room and gymnasium, but compared to the silence in the room it was deafening. She stood in front of her locker, securing her jacket in place, and let all thoughts other than the quiet around her clear from her head. As with every competition, she used the quiet to focus, to ground herself and try to push her nerves away. It only worked so well, a certain fluttering taking place in her gut she couldn't quite get rid of, but she ignored it. Letting the nerves take over would be useless; she'd worked hard for this, trained nearly every day for this tournament, and now she would see how well that training paid off. Rolling her shoulders, she grabbed her mask and sabre and then pushed her locker shut before turning around.  
  
The rest of her team was scattered throughout the locker room, everyone just as quiet as her. Somehow this had become the ritual long ago, silence spreading between them as they all prepared for their own matches, and Lexa found a kind of solidarity and peace in their combined quiet. She looked around, finding a few people still pulling on their gear, a couple others still applying what they'd all dubbed as their “war paint”, an addition to their uniforms that was never necessary but had become something else of a tradition among their team long before even Lexa was on it. The tradition had been passed down for so many years no one really knew who had started it. Despite its strangeness, Lexa loved it, the black paint around her eyes always making her stand taller and feel fiercer. Looking around, she could tell it affected her teammates in the same way.  
  
Movement beside her pulled her attention, and Lexa turned to see Indra stop beside her, looking down at her. The girl stood a little straighter under her coach's sharp eye, tilting her chin up. Indra scanned her, as though taking in every little detail, and then nodded once.  
  
“Don't make me regret letting you compete today,” she nearly growled. “Show them what Polis can do.” Lexa nodded back, giving her a silent promise. Her missed practice the week before had angered the coach just as much as she was afraid it would, and it had taken hours of extra practicing over the past few days to prove to Indra she still deserved to compete. She knew the coach still wasn't happy with her, but the day before she'd grudgingly agreed to let the girl compete and Lexa wasn't about to let that victory go to waste. Studying her another second, Indra turned away from her and almost instantly the rest of the team looked towards her, as though they just knew she was about to speak.  
  
“We have trained for this,” she stated, eyeing over every last one of them. “You've all worked hard, harder than any of the other teams out there. Go and show them that.” Everyone shifted, a few standing taller, some straightening their shoulders, others tilting their heads up, and all nodded. The coach glanced at them again, a quiet, almost hidden pride etched along her face, and then nodded once. Without another word she turned and left the locker room, her job done; she'd gotten them there and now it was up to them to go out and prove to everyone what they could do.  
  
As the door swung shut behind her, Lexa felt everyone's eyes turn to her. She looked them over, finding everyone all dressed and painted and ready, and then glanced over as someone else moved to her side. Anya stood tall, her hair pulled back and helmet under one arm while she carried her sabre in the other hand, and she too looked over the team. She ended on Lexa, and the brunette couldn't help but think she looked like a true warrior straight out of some urban legend with the dark paint circling her eyes. The thought made her heartbeat pick up, excitement coursing through her veins. Anya's eyes locked with hers, holding them for a second, and then she nodded. “Let's go.”  
  
The two co-captains led their team out of the locker room and towards the gym, the noise getting louder and louder with every step they took. That noise felt amplified as they walked through the double doors and Lexa nearly needed to brace herself for it. After the quiet of the locker room, it felt jarring walking into a room where a couple hundred people tried to talk over one another. They made their way over to the little area set aside for them, many of them looking around as they did. Most of the other eleven teams were already there and standing in their own area, some people stretching out nervously and others looking around also. Lexa had competed against each of these schools before and so was able to recognize most of the other fencers, mentally going over what she knew of them in preparation for her matches. Indra had handed out the roster for the first round as they'd gotten ready in the locker room, and now she looked over to Trishana, trying to find her opponent. As she scanned them however she felt a pair of eyes watching her, and let her gaze shift over to the Azgeda team standing on the opposite side of the gym. There she found Ontari, the girl staring at her, and when she saw her look over the other girl smirked, an obvious challenge in her eyes. Lexa knew Ontari planned on making it through the brackets solely so the two would be able to have a rematch, and she looked forward to it; it would be entirely satisfying beating her just as she'd done the year before.  
  
Anya stepped up beside her, glaring across the gym at Lexa's rival. “You better beat her,” she murmured, her tone low and dangerous. “You better wipe the floor with her.”  
  
“What if you're the one who gets to face her?” Lexa questioned, not looking away from the girl across the gym. From the corner of her eyes she could see the lethal way Anya's lips curled up in a grin. “Then I'll be the lucky one who gets to wipe that ugly smirk from her face.” Lexa's grin nearly mirrored hers, equally as excited for that to happen, and then she let her focus shift away from the Azgeda girl and into the bleachers behind her. She scanned the crowd for a few seconds until she found her father and brother, the two sitting together and already looking towards her. Seeing her looking at them, Aden gave her a big smile and a thumbs up, while her father nodded solemnly. Beside them she found Costia, her girlfriend's smile making the nerves in Lexa's stomach stir even as she smiled back. She continued to look at them until a flash of blonde caught her attention, and then her eyes widened a little as she looked further up in the bleachers. There, sitting in the middle of her entire group of friends, she found Clarke, the girl's eyes already on her even though Finn was clearly talking to her beside her. The blonde's lips curled up into a little grin when she caught green eyes, and Lexa watched as she held up her notebook. _Good luck!_ The message caused Lexa's heart to skip a beat but even so she found her smile growing.  
  
“Come on Commander, quit staring at your girlfriend,” she heard Anya say beside her, and her eyes widened until she realized the other girl must think she was still looking at Costia. Tearing her gaze from the crowd, she turned back to her best friend, finding her now glancing over the other teams. The rest of their team was busy either studying their opponents or looking at the crowd. As she moved, she saw Monroe waving towards the group around Clarke and realized they all must be there for her. Trying to ignore the slight disappointment from the realization, she waited until everyone on their team shifted their focus to her, each once again serious, standing tall with straight shoulders. Suddenly they were all warriors, the paint around their eyes marking them as combat-ready, and she was their Commander. They all looked to her, waiting for her orders, and she lifted her chin, standing proudly before them. At the moment there was only one thing to say, and as she slowly looked them all over, she said it. “Jus drein, jus daun.”  
  
“Jus drein, jus daun,” they all repeated, echoing her words. The chant began, softly at first, and then grew louder, until all Lexa could hear were their words. Like the face paint, the chant was older than any of them could remember, older possibly than them, and it filled her up. Her heart beat in time with the words, the challenge coursing through her until it felt as though her very blood was humming with it. Eleven set of eyes stared back at her, a fire burning in each of them, and it only fueled her more.  
  
Soon the first round of the tournament began, and Lexa found herself stepping forward when her pool was called. Five others stepped up with her from other teams, but the only one she could focus on was her immediate opponent. The Trishana girl barely looked at her as she hooked herself to her reel, clearly nervous, but Lexa didn't take her eyes off of her. As she hooked herself to her own reel, everything else seemed to settle as well, the nerves that had been fluttering in her stomach up until that moment instantly leaving. The referee moved over to them both, making sure they each wore the proper equipment and were hooked up correctly, but other than a quick nod of thanks she barely glanced at him. It was just about time, and the excitement welled up inside her, an energy she only ever got from fencing filling her to the brim. The referee gave them an order and they both moved to their en garde line, saluting each other and him, and then they pulled their masks over their faces, ready to begin.  
  
Her first bout went perfectly, her opponent unable to land a single hit before she'd delivered five of her own. The next bout was a little more of a competition, her opponent landing one hit right away but she quickly pulled the match back in her favor, ending it before the Boudalan girl had a chance to get in another. The entire pool went similarly, only her last match landing more than two hits, and as she walked away to check her scorecard she did it with a little grin on her lips. She'd never fought a better opening pool; Ontari better watch out.  
  
Anya's pool was directly after hers, so she stood off to the sidelines and watched her best friend compete. Despite a shaky first match where she and her opponent were tied four hits to four until she managed to end it with a beautiful downward sweep, each match was short and succinct, Anya ending it quickly and efficiently. As she walked off the piste Lexa handed her her water bottle, giving her a nod.  
  
“Nice job,” she said as her best friend guzzled some of the water down. Anya gave her a nod, using her arm to wipe away sweat from her forehead before she replied, “You too. Very nice matches.”  
  
The pools continued until each had been fought, and at the end of round one Lexa and Anya went to check the score cards to see who would be advancing to the second round. Of the twelve members on their team, the two of them, Echo, Monroe and Emori would be going on to the direct elimination round. Returning with the news, the rest of their team congratulated them, clapping them on the backs or giving them high fives, and Lexa thanked each in turn.  
  
“So you made it past the first round,” she suddenly heard behind her, and before she'd even turned she knew who was speaking. Letting a cool mask of indifference slip over her face, she turned and found Ontari, her arms crossed easily over her chest. “Good; now I get to beat you in the second round.”  
  
Monroe snorted, stepping up beside her captain. “Yeah right,” she said, shooting the Azgeda girl a look. “Like you could beat Lexa. Do we need to remind you who beat you last year, Ontari?” The other girl shot her a look, jaw clenching for a second before she relaxed once again. “That was last year,” she replied, brushing it off as though she couldn't care less. “Today you're the one who will be losing.” She ended by giving Lexa a look, one corner of her mouth curling up into a smirk. The brunette didn't let it faze her, barely let her expression shift at all as she lifted her head a little higher. “We will see,” she just replied, not giving her rival any more than that. The other girl looked as though she was going to say something else, but Anya stepped forward, crowding her space.  
  
“Go away, Ontari,” she stated, her voice even though they could all detect the little threat coloring her words. “One of us will see you on the piste, and we'll let our sabres do the rest.” Ontari gave her a look, studying her for a second as though trying to decide whether to let this girl just dismiss her like that, but with the way Anya stared down at her she seemed to think better of sticking around. Lexa didn't blame her; her best friend was intimidating on her best days and down right terrifying on her worst. She shot Lexa one more look, smirking still, and then turned around to rejoin her own team.  
  
The Polis team remained together until the second round started, and then those still competing broke away as their names were called. Emori and Monroe both lost their matches, Monroe against Ontari which only made the Azgeda girl's smirk grow as her opponent walked away. She met Lexa's eyes from where she'd been watching on the sidelines, raised her eyebrows, and then turned and sauntered back to her team. Lexa watched her, her expression smooth even as her heart pounded with the desire to wipe the smirk from her face. She, Anya and Echo all won their matches, making it so they continued on in the brackets, their team all cheering them on. Every now and then Lexa would look out towards the crowd, meeting Costia's smile and returning it, but she could never quite keep herself from then glancing up. Each time she did she found blue eyes watching her, as though they never looked away, and Lexa stood a little taller.  
  
The tournament continued, Echo losing in the third round of the direct eliminations, and Anya losing in the next. Lexa continued, managing to beat all of her opponents despite some close calls, and then as though it had been predestined, she found herself walking over to the piste for the final round, Ontari smirking back at her from the other end. They hooked themselves up to their reels, half-listened as the referee went over their equipment for the last time, but never looked away from each other. Finally the referee called the order and the two stepped up to the en garde line. Ontari's smirk never left as her mask slipped over her face, and Lexa never took her eyes off of her as hers did the same.  
  
“En garde,” the referee barked, and Lexa lifted her blade, pointing it towards her opponent. “Ready,” he continued and she easily settled into her stance, falling into it as though it had become second nature. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, energy buzzing through her, and she let herself take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Fence.”  
  
Without warning, Ontari leaped forward, springing immediately into offense. Lexa lifted her blade to block her attack as she stepped back quickly, successfully evading it, but found herself sinking into the defensive. She tried to find a way to turn the tide but all she could do was block as quickly as possible as the other girl went after her, her sword nearly a blur. She held her off for a few solid seconds, and then almost swore when she felt Ontari's sword come down on her arm, landing a blow. The referee called out the halt, giving the other girl the first point of the match, and even with her mask on Lexa could practically see her smirk grow. They moved back to their starting points, Lexa's grip around her blade tightening, and settled back into place as the referee repeated his words.  
  
At the command to fence, this time Lexa ran forward, just managing to break Ontari's attempt at an attack and taking the offensive. Her sword flew, gracefully carving through the air, and the Azgeda girl struggled to block it. Lexa pushed her back, not letting her find an opportunity to retake the offense, and she grinned when she felt her blade make contact with the other girl's side. They settled back at their respective en garde lines and waited for the referee's direction to begin again.  
  
Lexa took the lead in the first three minutes, landing five hits to Ontari's four. Stepping back for their one minute break, suddenly Anya was at her side, a water bottle held out for her. She flashed her best friend a small smile in thanks, and quickly took a few long sips.  
  
“Keep it up,” Anya told her, lightly nudging her shoulder. “Keep taking the offense right from the start and you'll have this.” Lexa nodded and then handed her water bottle back as the referee called them back to the piste. Just like before she settled back at the en garde line, not breaking eye contact with her opponent until they both wore their masks.  
  
The second round didn't work out as well for Lexa. She managed to make the first two hits but then Ontari got three in a row, and she couldn't quite shake that. The round ended with Ontari landing five and Lexa only landing four, tying them all up, and when Lexa stepped back for their second break she did so with a clenched jaw. Anya was there again, handing her her water bottle, but this time she didn't say anything, just gave her a look. Lexa read the determination, challenge and belief in her all in the look, and let that settle inside her. Handing the water bottle back after a few gulps, she walked back to the piste, not missing the way Ontari sauntered back over, clearly impressed with herself. This time she barely even looked at her opponent, instead let her focus wander over to the bleachers, and found both Costia and Clarke watching her. Whether she meant it to still be visible or not, the blonde had her notebook clenched to her chest, and Lexa could just read the _Good luck!_ still scrawled across it. Letting the words and looks fuel her, she slipped her mask on for the final time.  
  
Ontari shot forward at the referee's call and Lexa met her, lifting her blade to block the blow. She took exactly three steps back and then found a way to shift the fight, now forcing the other girl back. She could practically read the other girl's surprise in her body language and suddenly she just knew she was going to win. Her blade arced up and over, the movement just a split second too fast for Ontari to counter, and then it came in contact with the other girl's arm. They reset at their starting points but now Lexa felt certainty and confidence flooding through her. She was going to win this, she had no doubt.  
  
After only two minutes, she did. Ontari managed to get in a hit between her first and second and then third and fourth, but before she could get in anymore Lexa's blade made contact for the fifth time, leaving her with fifteen hits to eleven. She'd won, and as the referee called the match, she felt her heart begin beating like crazy in her chest. For a second she thought it was its beating that rang so loudly in her ears, until she realized that ringing was actually cheering. Many of those in the audience were on their feet, clapping and screaming, and as she looked over at them through her mask she found Clarke cheering just as loudly as any of them.  
  
Before she could really think about it, her teammates were surrounding her. Anya unhooked her from the reel and then threw her arms around her shoulders, clearly too excited to remember she never showed this kind of physical affection. “You did it!” she exclaimed, the rest of her team repeating the words. “You won!” Monroe clapped her on the shoulder so hard Lexa was pretty sure it would leave a bruise and Emori had her thumb and middle finger to her lips, letting out an ear-piercing whistle.  
  
The next few minutes seemed to go by in a blur. She shook Ontari's hand, the other girl's grip tighter than necessary as she glared at her, and then her team whirled her back to them. This time Indra was with them, the corners of her mouth just barely turned up, and when Lexa looked at her she gave her a nod, her indication of approval. The girl would have been surprised by the look if she weren't still in an almost state of shock from her victory, but her mind stored it away to go over later. Suddenly somebody broke through the throng of teammates surrounding her, and Lexa grunted from the force of it as Aden ran at her, throwing his arms around her.  
  
“You did it!” he exclaimed, practically jumping up and down while he continued to hold on to her. “You did it you did it you did it!” She just managed to wiggle out of his grasp when someone else's arms were around her, and she was quickly turned into her girlfriend's hold. Rather than say anything, Costia just beamed before tugging her closer, and then Lexa's eyes widened and immediately fell shut as she fell into her girlfriend's kiss.  
  
“Congratulations,” Costia told her when she finally pulled away, and Lexa had to blink a couple of times to wipe the haze from their kiss from her mind. “I knew you were going to win!”  
  
“Thanks,” she managed to get out, still reeling from it all, and then she felt a hand clap her on the back. She looked up to find her father grinning down at her. “Very nicely done, Lexa,” he said, gripping her shoulder. “You fought very well.”  
  
“Thanks Dad,” she replied, pulling back a little from her girlfriend's hold, though Costia just reached down to slip her hand in Lexa's. “And thanks for coming.” Her father shook his head, his grin growing a little. “Nothing could have made me miss it.”  
  
“Alright,” she heard Indra bark behind her, and glanced back to see the coach looking around at her team. “Warriors to me; we've got a few things to go over before you can leave.” Lexa flashed her family and girlfriend a quick smile and then slipped away, rejoining her team where she was bombarded with more pats to the back and whistles until a sharp look from their coach forced everyone to pay attention.  
  
When Indra finally dismissed them a few minutes later to get changed, Lexa looked around to try to find her family again. Instead the first thing she saw were blue eyes already looking at her, and she felt her smile grow a little as she made her way over to where Clarke stood by the bleachers.  
  
“Lexa that was amazing!” the blonde exclaimed, quickly throwing her arms around her shoulders the moment she was close enough. “I didn't even know it was possible to move that fast!” The brunette nearly blushed, just managing to hold it in. “Thanks,” she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. She almost winced when she felt how sweaty it was and realized she probably stank; people needed to stop hugging her until after she'd found time to take a shower. “And thanks for coming.”  
  
“Of course,” Clarke replied, stepping back and giving her a smile. “This thing's all Monroe's been able to talk about for weeks.” The smile curled up into a grin as she added, “Plus I wanted to see what the Commander could do. She said you were amazing and she wasn't wrong.” Lexa ducked her head a little at the nickname her team had given her; it'd never sounded quite as nice until the blonde said it.  
  
“How's your dad?” she asked, partially to change the conversation to one less focused on her and partially because she wanted to know. With all her extra practice since their trip to the hospital, she hadn't managed to find time to talk with the other girl. Clarke gave a little shrug, but the smile on her lips was genuine. “Better,” she answered, and Lexa felt herself return the smile. “He hasn't had chemo since the accident so I don't know how he'll be after that, but he's been eating more and not arguing with me or my mom.”  
  
“That's very wise of him,” Lexa stated with a solemn nod, only the way her lips curled up giving away her joke. “Only a fool would try to argue with you and think they could win.” Clarke's lips curled up, her eyebrows raising for a second, and then she nodded. “I have been told I'm rather persuasive,” she agreed, and it was Lexa's turn to raise her eyebrows. “I might have gone with stubborn, but that works too.” She felt her heart skip a beat at the twinkle in the other girl's eyes before she shrugged. “Same difference.” They grinned at each other, holding each other's eyes, until someone moved over to them. Lexa's grin fell as Finn came over, wrapping his arm loosely around the blonde. He flashed her a big smile and she forced herself to return.  
  
“That was an awesome match!” he told her, gesturing behind her towards the piste. “I mean they were all good, but that last one was kind of amazing!”  
  
“Thanks,” she replied, her lighthearted tone from a moment ago dropping away. He shot her another grin and then looked at the blonde. “Ready to go Clarke? Everyone else already headed out to the cars. Raven wants to start getting ready for tonight.”  
  
Clarke nodded, but looked back at Lexa.  
  
“What are you doing tonight?” she wanted to know, and Lexa looked at her curiously, glancing from her to Finn and then back. “I don't know, why?” Clarke's lips curled back up into a smile, telling her, “Tomorrow's my birthday so we're having a little party. Would you like to come?” Her smile grew a little as she added, “I was going to invite you earlier but you haven't been at your window all week.”  
  
“I was practicing for the tournament,” Lexa answered automatically, partially on autopilot. She could have said that of course she knew the next day was the blonde's birthday, she'd never forgotten it, but the invitation to the party caught her up. “I'm... not sure I can make it. My father probably wants to do something as a family, and then Costia will likely want to do something.”  
  
“Bring her,” Clarke suggested, giving one shoulder a little shrug. “Bring Anya too, if you want. The more the merrier.” She shrugged her shoulders, slipping the bag she wore off of her back and took out a notebook and pen and began writing something down. “The party isn't starting until after seven anyway, and you can definitely come later if you need to. It's at Raven's, and here's the address.” She ripped a corner out of the notebook, holding the piece of paper between them. Lexa hesitantly reached out and accepted it, still not entirely sure. When she looked back up however she found blue eyes still on her, a hopeful smile tugging at Clarke's lips, and had a feeling she knew what she'd be doing that night. “You don't have to come, obviously, but if you want to you're welcome to. And I'd really love it if you did.”  
  
Lexa had never really known how to tell the blonde no, so she wasn't surprised when she found herself nodding. “I'll see what I can do,” she told her, and her heart did a little flip as the other girl's smile grew.  
  
“Awesome, hope to see you there!” Finn said, flashing her a little grin, and Lexa realized she'd forgotten he was even there. Clarke nodded, her smile soft, and then the two turned and began making their way to the exit, swerving around the many others still milling around the gymnasium. Just before they left the blonde looked back over her shoulder, catching Lexa's eyes again, and the brunette couldn't quite stop herself from returning her smile.  
  
As the couple made their exit, Lexa looked back down at the piece of paper now pressed firmly between her fingers. She was still staring at it a minute later, trying to decide what to do, when she heard footsteps approaching her. “Alright Commander, I get you're still excited from your victory, but it's time to change. Your dad wants to take us out to a celebratory dinner. Let's go.” Lexa slowly looked up from the address, finding Anya giving her a look with one eyebrow cocked, and she made a decision right then and there.  
  
“What do you think about going to a party later?”

***

“I can't believe I let you drag me here.”  
  
Lexa glanced over at Anya out of the corner of her eye, finding her glaring at the door in front of them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, entirely unimpressed. On her other side, Costia leaned a little more heavily against her shoulder, peering around her to look at the grumpy blonde.  
  
“It's a party Anya,” she told her, rolling her eyes. “You could maybe try to have a little fun. Or are you going to scowl the entire night?” Anya's glare flickered over to her, growing as she said, “It's a party being thrown by Raven Reyes; we're going to have to listen to her big mouth for hours.” Looking over to Lexa, she added, “You owe me for this.”  
  
“You didn't have to come,” Lexa replied, barely returning the look. Secretly she was glad she had, her best friend adding a little bit of stability to a night she had no idea what to expect from, but there was no way she was going to admit as much. “You could have stayed home.”  
  
“Pff,” Anya growled, rolling her eyes. “Like I was gonna let you go to a party without me.” Costia rolled her eyes again, the corners of her mouth tugging up, and then she reached forward, knocking sharply at the door.  
  
They waited for a few seconds, long enough that Lexa was about to reach forward and knock again, before the door opened up. Bellamy Blake stood on the other side, already smirking down at them as he leaned against the door frame. “Hello ladies, welcome to Party Griffin,” he said, backing up and sweeping his arm behind him, gesturing inside. “Come on in and be ready to have some fun.”  
  
Lexa led the way inside, Costia's hand in hers while Anya brought up the rear, flashing a glare at Bellamy even as he continued to smirk at them. The door opened up to a kitchen, various bottles lining the counter while bowls of chips and popcorn were arranged along an old rickety table. A few people moved around, helping themselves to new drinks or grabbing handfuls of the snacks, but the kitchen seemed to just be a rest stop before they moved through the far doorway. Through it Lexa could hear music playing, loudly but not so loudly it was impossible to talk over, and it was towards this doorway Bellamy led them.  
  
“Help yourselves to drinks if you want them,” he stated, glancing back at them over his shoulder and giving them another grin. “We got plenty. Food too, obviously.” Lexa barely glanced at the bottles or food, instead focused on the flashing lights and sounds coming from the other room. “And this,” Bellamy continued, leading them into it, “Is where the real party is.”  
  
Furniture had been pushed back against the walls, leaving a large open space in an otherwise relatively small room. Lexa really didn't know how they had managed to get that many people inside the small living room, but she found almost twenty people easily dancing or standing around, no one seeming to care about the lack of space. Monroe was dancing with her girlfriend Harper in a way that made Lexa wonder if they'd forgotten there were other people in the room, but neither they nor anyone else seemed to care. Emori danced in front of her boyfriend John Murphy, Murphy leaning back against a wall obviously refusing to join her and rolling his eyes, but even so Lexa thought she saw the smallest of smiles pulling at his lips. Monty and Jasper were both dancing, or rather flailing around a little, and looked like they were just having a good time. Lincoln and Octavia were also on the dance floor, his arms loosely around her waist and holding her close to him, until she turned and spotted them.  
  
“Hey!” she exclaimed a little loudly, probably to make sure she could be heard over the music. Grabbing Lincoln's hand, she pulled him over with her, grinning as she made her way over to the newcomers. “I'm glad you made it! Clarke said she invited you guys but wasn't sure if you'd be able to come.”  
  
“We're here,” Anya grumbled and glanced over to her brother. “Though if I have to watch that all night, I might not be for long.” Lexa elbowed her in the side, shooting her a warning look, and she just rubbed at the spot, rolling her eyes. Lincoln grinned, shrugging an arm loosely around Octavia's shoulders, and told her, “You're going to have to get used to it, Anya. I'll happily dance with my girlfriend whenever she wants.” Octavia's grin grew before she spun around, tossing her arms over his shoulders. “I love it when you call me that.” His grin grew and then they were kissing, much to their siblings' dismay.  
  
“Ugh,” Anya groaned at the same time Bellamy said, “Okay, do you really have to do that here?” They shot each other a look, clearly not expecting anyone to be on their side, and Lexa fought to hide a grin of her own. Costia didn't bother to hide it, even let out a little laugh before saying, “Well I think you two make a cute couple. Feel free to make out as much as you want.” Both Anya and Bellamy glared at her while Octavia and Lincoln smirked, and Lexa just shook her head.  
  
“Watch it Greene,” Anya warned, her eyes shooting daggers at her. “I am not above hurting you.”  
  
“You don't scare me, Anya,” Costia told her nonchalantly, leaning more heavily against her girlfriend's shoulder. “And even if you did, I've got Lexa here to protect me.” Her best friend gave the brunette a look, snorted and then shook her head. “Yeah, like that could protect you.”  
  
“I'm going to choose to not be offended by that,” Lexa stated calmly, looking at her best friend. Before she could say anything back, they heard, “Hey hey, it's our Commander and General!” They all looked over to see Monroe leading the way over to them, Harper not far behind, and Emori turned away from her boyfriend to follow. Monroe threw them a mock salute when she stopped next to the little group, and the wide grin on her face made Lexa wonder how much she'd already had to drink. “It's about time you decided to party with us!”  
  
Anya glanced around the room, clearly not impressed with the number of people there. “You really call this a party?”  
  
“Clarke made us promise to keep it small,” Harper told them, also looking around. “I think she crushed Raven's soul a little bit with all her rules, but hey, it's her birthday.” She shrugged, as though saying “What can you do?” and then leaned over and touched her girlfriend's arm. “I'm going to get another drink. Want one too?”  
  
“Hell yeah,” Monroe replied, throwing a fist up in the air. “We're celebrating! Not only is it our Princess's birthday tomorrow, but the Commander kicked Ontari's ass so amazingly it's still gonna be sore months from now!” Harper shook her head at her girlfriend even as she grinned, and then left the group, making her way back towards the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah Lexa, that was an amazing match!” Octavia exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement. She was now practically bouncing up and down, looking between her and Anya. “Both of you, seriously, that was some impressive fighting today!”  
  
“Uh oh, here we go again,” Lexa heard Jasper call from behind them. Looking over, she found him still moving, now with a cup in his hand. She had to give him credit; despite the twitchiness of his dancing he managed not to spill any of it. “She's back on the fencing.”  
  
“Somebody distract her,” Monty added, smiling as he looked over to the brunette, but when Lexa looked back at Octavia she didn't seem offended at all. “No but the fencing is so cool!” she replied, looking over at them. “With the swords and everything? It's so badass!”  
  
“Alright, so she's not that bad,” Anya gave in, looking over to her brother. Lincoln smirked, nodding his agreement, his arm wrapping lightly around her waist. “I'm a fan.”  
  
“Um, where's Clarke?” Lexa cut in, very much aware that the blonde was nowhere to be seen in this group. She'd only come for her, and honestly felt kind of awkward standing around with all of her friends and not the other girl herself.  
  
Bellamy pointed towards a little hallway off the other end of the room, saying, “Out back. She found out Raven has a secret stash of fireworks and is trying to convince her to hand them over. I think Finn's helping her.” Octavia reached over and poked him in the chest, telling him, “And it was your job to make sure she didn't have access to anything boom-worthy. Nice going, bro.” He rubbed the spot she'd poked him, glaring down at her. “Hey, you know Raven, she doesn't give her fireworks up without a fight.”  
  
Lexa glanced back and forth between the two siblings for a second and then towards the hall. “Uh, I think I'm gonna go say hi,” she nearly mumbled, her words lost as the two Blakes continued to argue. Ignoring them, she looked between Costia and Anya. “Do either of you want to come?”  
  
“I think I'll stay here,” Costia replied, obviously entertained by the siblings' bickering. Anya rolled her eyes and then turned around, throwing over her shoulder, “I need a drink.” She disappeared into the kitchen, otherwise ignoring Lexa, so the brunette just shrugged. “I'll be right back,” she told her girlfriend, squeezing her hand, and Costia shot her a smile before turning her attention back to the Blakes.  
  
Leaving the room, Lexa made her way down the little hallway, passing by a couple of closed doors until she reached one that opened up to the outside. Almost as soon as she opened the door, she heard a voice she immediately recognized. “Come on Raven, I know they're here somewhere, now where are they?”  
  
Stepping out back, she found the girl in question sitting at an old picnic table, her arms crossed over her chest stubbornly. Clarke stood in front of her, her arms crossed as well, while Finn stood off just to the side. The two girls seemed to be locked in a battle of wills, Raven refusing to give Clarke the answer she wanted and Clarke refusing to back down. None of them paid any attention to her until she was almost to the picnic table, and even then she had to speak up to get any of them to look at her. “Um, hi.”  
  
As soon as the words were out, the blonde's focus shifted directly to her, her entire expression changing. “Lexa!” Her lips pulled up into a big smile, eyes bright even under the night sky. “You came!”  
  
“Yeah,” the brunette replied, giving her a little smile. “I wouldn't miss your birthday party.” She glanced back at Raven and Finn behind her, and asked, “Did I interrupt something?”  
  
“No, not at all,” Clarke replied, still smiling. “I was just reminding Raven that even though she has a very impressive collection of fireworks, we will _not_ be setting any of them off tonight.” She gave the other girl a look, a clear warning in her eyes even as she continued to smile. “We really don't need any of her neighbors calling the cops on us, right Raven?” The other girl let out a loud sigh, rolling her eyes as her shoulders lifted nearly to her ears. “Fun ruiner,” she muttered, but Clarke didn't even look back to acknowledge it. Instead she continued looking at Lexa, asking, “How long have you been here? Are you by yourself?”  
  
Lexa shook her head. “We just got here a few minutes ago, and no, Costia and Anya are with me.” That made Raven perk up, her arms falling back to her sides and a grin slowly growing along her lips. “Maybe all my fun for tonight isn't ruined,” she said, jumping up from the table. Walking towards them, her head tilted to the side. “So Lexa, what do you think the chances are of Anya falling for me tonight?” Lexa gave her a look, thoroughly confused, and told her, “Uh, pretty much none.” The answer only made her smirk grow. “A challenge; I like it. Time to lay on the Reyes charm.” Without another word she strolled back into her house, undoubtedly to find Anya, and Lexa wondered what exactly she'd gotten herself into this weekend.  
  
“She does know Anya pretty much hates everyone, right?” she asked, looking back at Clarke, and the blonde just shrugged. “Raven seems to believe she's charming enough to get anyone interested in her.”  
  
“Yeah, and the greater the challenge the more she's invested in it,” Finn added, stepping up towards them. He shook his head, grinning a little. “Which means by the end of the night Anya will either be kissing her or kicking her ass.” Lexa looked back towards where the other girl had disappeared and winced. She really couldn't see the kissing thing working out, so she hoped Raven would give up before it got to the second option.  
  
“Come on,” Clarke said, nodding towards the door. “Let's go back inside and try to prevent any blood from spilling.” Lexa nodded, knowing that really was the best thing they could do, and then followed Clarke back in, Finn bringing up the rear.  
  
“Hey the birthday girl's back!” Jasper shouted the moment they walked back into the living room, and everyone there cheered. Bellamy sauntered over to her, carrying a shot glass of something, and pushed it into her hand. “Come on birthday girl, time to really get this party started!” Clarke rolled her eyes but Lexa watched as her mouth curled up, and then without hesitation she tossed the shot back, swallowing it as though it were nothing. Now this was a side of Clarke she'd never seen before, and didn't entirely know what to think as the blonde lifted the empty glass above her head. “Let's party!”  
  
Party they did. Somebody turned the music up louder and then it seemed like at least half the people there gravitated towards the dance floor, Clarke among them. Lexa held back for a few minutes, a little uncertain, but when Costia suddenly showed up beside her and grabbed her hand she let her lead her with only a minimum amount of protesting. She moved a little awkwardly at first, glancing around at everyone else, but quickly realized she was far from the most uncoordinated person on the floor. Jasper still jerked in every movement he made, Monty only a little better, and even Bellamy only moved so well. Trying to ignore everyone else, she focused on Costia, letting her girlfriend's smile guide her through the movements, until she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. When she looked back there was Anya, two cups in her hands. One she held out between them, clearly offering it to the brunette.  
  
“What is it?” Lexa asked loudly to be heard over the music, eyeing the drink even as she accepted it. She didn't often drink, and when she did it was usually because Anya or Costia handed her something.  
  
“Rum and coke,” her best friend replied simply before taking a big gulp from her own cup. Lexa eyed it again and then took a small sip, instantly tasting the alcohol. She knew it wasn't as strong as something Anya would make for herself, but it still seemed plenty strong for her. Costia must have noticed the face she made, because she laughed before grabbing the cup and taking a drink of her own. “Did you want one?” Lexa asked, suddenly feeling like a bad date. Her girlfriend shook her head, smiling as she said, “I'll share yours, then get my own.” That seemed to be as good an idea as any, so Lexa nodded before taking another sip.  
  
They remained dancing long enough for Lexa to start sweating, her heart racing in her chest from the movements. The more she drank from her cup the easier the dancing became, until she no longer cared about the other people around her and was instead perfectly happy to be moving along with her girlfriend. Every now and then she would look around to the others on the dance floor, and every time she did she somehow managed to catch Clarke's eye. The blonde danced with her boyfriend, their bodies pressed easily together, but every time they made eye contact Clarke smiled at her and Lexa felt a new warmth spread in her chest.  
  
“Drink's gone,” Costia said, looking down in the cup. Glancing up at the brunette, she asked, “Time for another?” Lexa nodded, taking her hand, and the two wound through those still dancing, making their way into the kitchen. Inside they found Anya and Raven, the two locked into some sort of argument.  
  
“Not gonna happen, Reyes,” Anya was saying as they walked in, casually leaning back against the counter with a drink in her hand. Raven smirked in front of her, propping one fist against her hip, and nodded. “Totally gonna happen, Forest,” she replied, clearly unphased. “You may be a master swordswoman, but when it comes to beer pong I never lose. So yeah, you're totally going down.”  
  
“You guys are playing beer pong?” Costia asked, glancing at the table behind them. There was a stack of cups on the edge of it, but they hadn't been laid out yet, and her eyebrow rose. “Not yet because Anya's too scared,” Raven replied, moving over to the table to lean against it, shooting the other girl a grin. “She knows she's gonna lose so she keeps refusing.” The dirty blonde's eyes narrowed, Raven's taunt working its magic just as they all knew it would, and then she pushed herself away from the counter. “Alright Reyes, you want to play so bad then fine, let's play. Just don't cry too hard when I beat you.” Raven just smirked before getting to work, laying out the cups along the table and filling them with water. At that Anya gave her a look, unimpressed, and the brunette rolled her eyes. “We don't have any cheap beer and I'm not pouring straight liquor into the cups.” The other girl rolled her eyes but didn't say anything, moving to help get the game set up.  
  
“Another rum and coke?” Costia asked, and Lexa nodded. “Thanks,” she said, giving her girlfriend a little smile as she handed over the new drink before turning to make her own. “You're welcome,” she replied. “I tried to make that one about as strong as the last. Let me know what you think.” Lexa took a sip, still tasting the alcohol but now not bothered at all by it, and gave the girl another smile. “Perfect.”  
  
“Just like you,” Costia teased, and Lexa felt her heart do a little flip as she nearly blushed. The other girl pressed closer against her and the brunette pressed right back. She moved forward, about to kiss her when Anya's voice interrupted them. “Nope, not a thing, if you're gonna start making out take it outside. I don't want to see that.” Lexa shot her a little glare, and suddenly she hoped Raven stuck to her all night just to piss her off. Looking down at the game nearly set up, she found herself hoping her best friend would lose too.  
  
“Why do you have to spoil our fun?” Costia complained, rolling her eyes even as she stepped back just a little, putting a hair's worth of space between them. Anya shrugged, not turning around, and answered, “It's my goal in life to make things harder for Lexa. You're with her, so that extends to you too. And that's your own fault for dating her.”  
  
Raven nodded as Anya talked, only the slight twitch at the corners of her mouth giving her away. “A good, honorable goal,” she stated. She glanced up as a few more people made their way into the room, and gestured towards one of them. “And there's mine!” Clarke's eyebrows rose and then her eyes narrowed, giving her a look. “I'm your what?” she wanted to know, and Raven just flashed her a smile. “Just one of my best friends, Clarkey-poo,” she responded, giving nothing more away, and then turned her attention back to Anya as she finished getting the game set up.  
  
“Do I want to know what that was about?” Clarke murmured, moving over towards Lexa, and the brunette shook her head. “Trust me, you don't.” The blonde nodded, clearly taking her word for it, and then looked over to Finn as he called out, “Clarke, another margarita?”  
  
“Yes please,” she replied, flashing him a smile, and then turned back to the game unfolding in front of them. “Beer pong already?”  
  
“Raven challenged Anya, so she couldn't say no,” Costia answered. The blonde didn't seem at all surprised, replying with, “Yeah, that sounds like Raven. I hope Anya's good.” Lexa glanced over at her. “Why? Is Raven? I assumed she was just bragging.” Clarke shook her head. “I mean yeah, she probably was, but she's also really good. I've never seen her lose a game before.” Costia let out a little whistle, clearly impressed, and Lexa's eyebrows rose. Suddenly her hope for Anya's loss looked like more than just a hope; she really didn't know how good Anya was at this game, but she didn't think she could admit to that kind of record.  
  
A small group watched the first game unfold, and though Anya held her own for a while, it was clear to see Raven really was an expert. She barely ever missed a cup even with trick shots, and Lexa could see a grudging respect forming for her behind her best friend's mask of annoyance. Raven won the first game by three cups and the two almost immediately started up a second, only this time they played partners. Bellamy joined Raven and to Lexa's surprise Costia joined Anya, the two creating a very strange team in the brunette's mind. They didn't do quite as well, Bellamy being better at the game than Costia, but it was clear at least that the other girl was having fun. For the third game Raven and Anya somehow managed to be on a team together and they dominated against Octavia and Lincoln, the couple only getting rid of a few cups by the time Anya sunk the ball in their last one. The pair high-fived as Octavia and Lincoln finished their drinks, and Lexa wasn't sure the last time she'd seen anything quite so strange.  
  
“Okay, enough beer pong, time for something else,” Bellamy declared. “Obviously Raven and Anya are unstoppable.” A number of people quickly agreed and Raven smirked while Anya tried not to. “King's Cup?” Octavia asked after lowering her drink, and Jasper and Finn cheered as Bellamy and Clarke both grinned.  
  
For over an hour they played drinking games, sometimes all together and sometimes breaking up into smaller groups. Lexa joined in, learning a few new games and drinking a lot as she tried to learn the rules, but she wasn't too concerned since everyone else seemed to be drinking just as much. By the time they finished a game of Drunk Jenga, she was smiling foolishly, lips curled up, and her entire body felt just the right level of floaty. It probably wasn't the most drunk she'd ever been, but it was a very nice buzz. Leaving the Jenga blocks out, they started a game of Never Have I Ever, and Lexa learned more about those around her than she'd ever wanted to know.  
  
“Never have I ever smoked pot,” Bellamy stated, pointedly looking over to Monty and Jasper, both of them quickly drinking. Harper, Murphy, Raven and Anya also drank, but she was more surprised by the fact Costia did too. She rose her eyebrows at her, and her girlfriend shrugged. “I smoke a joint every now and then to relieve stress, no big deal.”  
  
“Here here!” Jasper cheered, raising his cup up to her in salute, and then took another drink. Lexa said nothing, just returned her girlfriend's shrug with a smile, and turned back to the game as everyone looked over to Octavia, the next person in the circle. She grinned, looking around at everyone, and said, “Never have I ever kissed a girl.” Everyone but she, Monty and Emori drank. As she lowered her cup, Raven shook her head sadly. “You poor thing. You have absolutely no idea what you're missing. I've done a study on it, and generally speaking girls are way better kissers.”  
  
“Whatever you say Raven,” Octavia replied, rolling her eyes. Anya leaned back, one arm out behind her, and casually said, “She's actually right; I've done the same study, and yeah, girls are way better kissers.” The other girl grinned, throwing a look over at Octavia as though to say “I told you so”.  
  
“Okay, then how about this; never have I ever done a study to see which gender is a better kisser,” Lincoln stated, easily grinning as he looked over to his sister. Anya flipped him off even as she lifted her cup back up, and Raven let out a laugh as she did the same. “Nicely played, Lincoln,” she gave him, pretending to tip an invisible hat to him after she finished drinking. She looked around the circle then, apparently picking her victim, and smirked as her eyes landed on Clarke. “Never have I ever been a cheerleader.”  
  
“If you were trying to get just me, you must have forgotten Octavia was a cheerleader in fourth grade,” the blonde reminded her, nonchalantly giving her a look over the rim of her cup as she lifted it. The other brunette groaned, apparently having forgotten the fact herself, and then took a swig of her drink. “Shit, forgot about that.” Lexa watched as Raven flashed the two of them a grin, saying, “Hey, hit two birds with one stone.”  
  
The game continued around the circle, people starting to tap out as their cups emptied, and the more people out the more Raven seemed to zero in on those left. Lexa stayed in, her cup still a little more than half full since her last refill, and for the most part just observed. When only a few of them were left actively playing, Raven turned back to Clarke, smirking.  
  
“Never have I ever dated Finn,” she said, and Clarke rolled her eyes before taking a drink. “Wow, you really had to think hard to come up with that one. Never have I ever nearly blown up half the school.”  
  
“It wasn't half!” the other girl exclaimed, and then when both Octavia and Bellamy scoffed she glared at them. “Fine,” she muttered, lifting up her cup, and Lexa realized she was very glad she didn't have chemistry with her. Raven thought for a second, her head tilting just to the side, and then her lips curled back up. “Never have I ever only kissed two people.”  
  
“Actually, unless you kissed numbers two and three simultaneously, then there was a time you had only kissed two people,” Monty piped up, apparently the voice of reason, but Raven just waved her hand at him, dismissing it. “You know what I mean, it counts,” she told him and Lexa took a drink. She was the only one still playing who did, but no one even seemed to notice as they all just turned to Clarke. The blonde sat calmly, easily leaning against Finn, and didn't move.  
  
“Uh, Clarke?” Octavia said, giving her a look. “This is the part where you drink.” Clarke returned her look, raising an eyebrow, and Lexa noticed the corners of her mouth twitching. “No I don't.”  
  
“Yeah you do,” Raven replied, rolling her eyes. “You've kissed two people, Niylah and Finn, therefore you drink.”  
  
“Wait, hold on, you've kissed Niylah?” Anya asked, looking over to the blonde, clearly surprised. Clarke turned towards her and shrugged. “Yeah. She was my girlfriend for a couple of months in eighth grade.” The answer made Anya glower, crossing her arms in front of her, and Lexa fought to hold back a little grin. She remembered the crush her best friend had had on Niylah the beginning of their Sophomore year; she thought she'd gotten over it, but apparently not entirely.  
  
Turning back to Raven, Clarke continued, “And yes, I've kissed them both, but Niylah wasn't my first kiss.” Out of the corners of her vision Lexa saw a number of eyes widen, clearly shocked, but she herself froze. She had a feeling she knew exactly what the blonde was referring to, and found herself staring at her drink in front of her, a little afraid to look up.  
  
“Wait, hold on, what did you just say?” Raven demanded at the same time Octavia asked, “What do you mean Niylah wasn't your first kiss? Of course she was!” Clarke shook her head and Lexa peeked up through her eyelashes, seeing her lips slowly curling up. “No she wasn't. I was fourteen when we dated; I had my first kiss when I was six.”  
  
“ _Six_?” multiple people exclaimed at once, and Lexa ducked her head down further, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. “You kissed someone when you were six and you never told me?” Raven exclaimed, glaring at her. “I feel cheated! Lied to!”  
  
“Who the hell did you kiss when you were six?” Bellamy asked, the question Lexa could tell everyone wanted to know the answer to. She kept looking down as she heard Clarke answer, “Actually, she's the one who kissed me. Right after she asked me to marry her.” The brunette could feel her eyes on her, and she peeked up through her lashes. Sure enough, the moment she did she met blue eyes dancing with mischief and something else she couldn't quite name.  
  
“You remember that?” Lexa asked, genuinely surprised. Clarke nodded, but then she began to frown. “Of course. Don't you?”  
  
Of course. Lexa spent years replaying that moment in her head, trying to remember exactly what it felt like to kiss her best friend. Weird, certainly, but not unpleasant. “Yeah,” she answered slowly. “I do. I just didn't think you did.” Clarke's lips curled back up, flashing her a smile as she joked, “Lexa, a girl doesn't forget the first time someone proposes to her.”  
  
Beside her, Costia was busy glancing between the two of them. “Wait a minute. You two kissed? And Lexa you... proposed?” Everyone's eyes turned to her, and Lexa made herself sit up a little straighter, trying not to look intimidated at now being the center of attention, especially due to something she'd kept to herself for so long. “It was my seventh birthday and Tristan told me I needed to be his girlfriend,” she informed them all, lifting her head a little higher. “In all my seven year old wisdom, I decided the best way to keep that from happening was to ask my best friend to marry me.”  
  
“And you kissed?” Octavia asked, looking from Clarke to her. The blonde shrugged one shoulder, telling her, “I was six; I thought you had to if you wanted to be engaged.” Lexa nodded and then for a second everyone was quiet, apparently trying to process this new information. Suddenly though Jasper was grinning as he pointed at Raven.  
  
“Guess you didn't get her like you thought, Raven,” he told her, letting out a laugh. “Good try, but I'm pretty sure the Princess just kicked your ass!” She glared at him and Clarke smirked, clearly very proud of herself, and then the game continued as though nothing had happened. As they continued to move around the circle however, Lexa kept finding herself glancing over at the blonde, and every time it seemed like blue eyes met hers. Each time they did they would share a little smile, almost as though they were privy to some secret nobody else knew about, and Lexa's heart fluttered in her chest with every look.  
  
After a few more rounds the game tapered off and people began getting up and moving around again. Octavia turned the music back on and a few of them went back to dancing, their movements even less coordinated than they'd been before with the amount of alcohol easily flowing through their systems. Lexa and Costia moved over to the couch, Anya moving with them, and after a few minutes Monroe and Harper joined them. Quickly the conversation turned back to the tournament earlier that day, and the brunette paid little attention to anything else but swapping thoughts on how it had gone. She glanced up just in time to see Clarke heading into the kitchen, catching her smile and then returning it when they caught each other's eye, but didn't miss a beat in the conversation. A minute or two later Anya got up, saying something about needing a new drink. Lexa could have sworn her cup had been half full less than five minutes ago, but didn't give it a second thought, especially as Emori came over to join them. The three fencers continued talking about some of the especially good matches they'd witnessed while Costia and Harper broke off into their own conversation about something else, and Lexa didn't realize it was taking Anya longer than usual to get her drink.  
  
She did notice when Clarke came back however, didn't miss the way the blonde didn't even glance towards the couch. Finn stepped in front of her as she tried to cross the room, smiling and clearly trying to get her to dance, but a moment later she excused herself and continued forward, heading down the opposite hall and disappearing. A second later Lexa felt someone settle on the arm of the couch next to her, and looked up at her best friend. Anya turned back to the conversation as though nothing had happened, but the brunette could see something in her eyes beneath the cool mask she wore.  
  
“What did you do?” she demanded quietly, something stirring in her gut. She couldn't explain it exactly, but the way both blondes had returned told her something was wrong. Anya just gave her a cool look, barely even lifting an eyebrow. “Nothing, don't know what you mean.” Lexa scanned her face, trying to read whatever she was hiding, and then shook her head. Whatever had happened, she wasn't going to be able to get Anya to tell her. Flashing her best friend a little glare, she turned and excused herself from the conversation around her, and then made her way across the room and down the hall.  
  
Somehow she'd known she would find Clarke outside, so when she stepped back out into the little yard she'd found her in earlier, she wasn't surprised to see the figure of someone sitting on the picnic table. She could just make out the sheen of blonde hair in the moonlight and moved towards it. Clarke didn't move as she made her way over, just stared up at the sky. Silently Lexa joined her, also not surprised to see the other girl had left room on the table beside her. As soon as she was settled she looked up too, finding half a moon peeking down on them from behind a few clouds. Stars littered the sky, more visible than were hiding behind other clouds, and the two just stared at them for a minute.  
  
“It's a beautiful night,” Clarke murmured, breaking the silence. “I used to do this so much, but before the tree house it'd been awhile.”  
  
“For me too,” Lexa replied. “I forgot how soothing this is.”  
  
“Mm,” the blonde agreed, the noise only just audible, and finally the brunette glanced over at her. She looked alright, but Lexa thought she saw something brewing in eyes now as dark as the sky above them, and she couldn't help but feel responsible. “Clarke, whatever Anya said to you, I'm sorry. She can be... harsh, I guess.”  
  
“She wasn't harsh,” she replied and Lexa frowned, hearing something in her tone she didn't like. “She was just honest. Everything she said was right.” The brunette waited for a second to see if she would say anything else and when she didn't she asked, “Can I know what she was right about?”  
  
For a few seconds Clarke didn't say anything, didn't do anything but stare up at the sky, and Lexa frowned, trying not to let her frustration get the better of her. Despite what the blonde said, she couldn't help but feel like Anya had crossed some kind of line and all she wanted to do was fix it. And then, to her surprise, Clarke spoke up.  
  
“Do you remember how my parents used to help out with local fundraisers?” she asked, the question taking Lexa completely by surprise. “For charities? Sometimes I got to stay with you when they went to them, and sometimes you came with us?” Lexa nodded, easily remembering those times. The fundraisers were always boring but somehow the two of them had always found ways to entertain themselves. Clarke waited for her to nod, and then continued quietly. “There was one a couple months before my eighth birthday. You were going to come but then you got sick and your mom wanted you to stay home.” The corners of her lips curled up, just barely, and Lexa found she couldn't look anywhere but her face. “I was so bored. I kept asking my parents when we could leave so I could check on you. I think I asked them so much even my dad started to get annoyed.” Now it was Lexa's turn to smile slightly: it took a lot to annoy Jake Griffin, especially when coming from his daughter. That smile instantly fell away when something flashed across Clarke's face, her brow furrowing slightly. Part of her wanted to reach out, to find a way to comfort her, but for once she didn't know how because she had no idea what was wrong. Instead she sat quietly, waiting to hear the rest of the blonde's story.  
  
“When we were finally driving home, I was watching the stars,” she continued, her voice nearly getting lost in the quiet of the dark. “Looking for shooting stars, just like always. And I saw one. A real shooting star, not a satellite or an airplane or anything like that, but a real shooting star. I saw it and I was so excited. Immediately I closed my eyes and made a wish. I thought if that wish could come true then everything would be perfect.”  
  
“What did you wish for?” Lexa asked. Clarke continued to stare up at the moon and the brunette thought she could see tears building up in the corners of her eyes. Again she wanted to reach out, to slip her fingers through the blonde's and hold her hand like they used to, but for some reason she couldn't. Something about the way Clarke looked, the way she couldn't look at her held her back, kept her just on the edge of reaching out.  
  
“I wished that your dad would come home for good,” the blonde whispered, and her words shocked Lexa so much her eyes widened. “He was off on his second tour and I knew how much you missed him, so I wished he could come home to you and not have to leave again.” A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, rolling quickly down her cheek, and Lexa watched it, nearly as surprised by it as she'd been by her words. “I wished for him to come home, and then the next week your mom was in that accident. She died and he came home.”  
  
Lexa's heart stopped beating for a second, the shock from Clarke's words nearly causing her system to short-circuit. The next moment it twisted painfully in her chest, so hard she could barely breathe. The thought of her mother and what had happened to her hit her the way it always did, the pain no less sharp than the moment the doctor had told her she would never be waking up again. This time though there was an extra stab to the pain, entirely caused by the guilt she could now so easily read in the blonde's eyes.  
  
“Clarke, that wasn't your fault,” she murmured, “It was just a wish. You didn't-” She began to reach out as she spoke, but pulled her hand back when the other girl began to roughly shake her head, cutting her off.  
  
“I know that now,” she nearly growled, her voice breaking in a way that caused Lexa's gut to twist. “But I was seven, Lexa! I was seven and I thought my wish killed your mother. I couldn't, couldn't even look at you without the guilt tearing me apart. I held you as you cried, watched the way you and Aden fell apart, and I thought it was all my fault.” Her jaw worked for a second, clearly trying to get words out, but for a moment she couldn't. When she was able to speak again, Lexa's heart broke from the pain she heard in her voice. “I thought if, if I hadn't made that stupid wish then she'd still be alive and you would have been happy and I, I absolutely hated myself. That's why I pulled away; I couldn't even look at you without feeling like I destroyed your family.”  
  
“Clarke,” Lexa murmured, finally reaching out. Her hand went to the other girl's arm, gripping it lightly, and she felt her flinch beneath the touch. The movement only caused her to hold on a little tighter, refusing to let go of the blonde when she so clearly needed this. “You didn't kill my mother, a car accident did. You had nothing to do with that.”  
  
“I know,” Clarke croaked, more tears now rolling down her cheeks. “I do, I know.” She shook her head. “But back then I thought I did, and then when I was old enough to realize it wasn't me, I still couldn't look at you because I'd abandoned you. Your mother died, and only a few months later I was spending all my time with Raven and Octavia. I left you because I felt so guilty, and then when I realized I shouldn't have I felt even worse for leaving. Everything... Everything I did was wrong, and I can never make it up to you. I'm so sorry Lexa.”  
  
Without thinking about it, Lexa tugged on Clarke's arm, pulling her close. The blonde resisted for a second and then melted into it, turning and pressing herself against her. Lexa's arms circled around her, holding her as close as possible, and she felt her own tears prickle at the corners of her eyes as Clarke cried against her. Now she finally knew what it was that had driven the two of them apart, and it tore at her knowing her best friend had been carrying this guilt around all these years.  
  
“It's okay Clarke,” she whispered, trying to comfort her, but she felt the other girl shake her head against her shoulder. “No, it's not,” she replied, voice still breaking, “I just left you. You needed me and I just left. After what happened and I just-” She cut herself off, shaking her head harder, and Lexa just held her tighter.  
  
“I got through it,” she murmured, lightly shrugging the shoulder Clarke wasn't leaning against. “I can't say it didn't hurt, but I got through. I started hanging out with Anya and she helped me.”  
  
“I should have been there,” she heard. “I shouldn't have left you.”  
  
“Maybe,” Lexa replied quietly, trying to keep her tone as light as possible. Despite her own hurt from the years apart, the last thing she wanted was to add to her friend's guilt. “But we can't change what happened, Clarke. All we can do is try to move on. You needed to get away and I needed to learn how to survive without you. Now though...” She paused for a second, her throat suddenly burning. Heart racing in her chest for some reason, she continued even more quietly, “Now I would really like my first best friend back. I've really...” Her voice cracked, everything she'd felt ever since the blonde pulled away from her gnawing at her insides. She couldn't keep it down anymore, couldn't push it away as she'd learned to do, and let it build until she knew it was obvious in her tone. “...really missed her.” She felt Clarke press her forehead harder against her shoulder, and then she pulled back. As she looked up, Lexa's eyes scanned her face, finding tear streaks running down both cheeks and blue eyes bright with a mixture of guilt and hope.  
  
“I've missed you too,” she whispered, her voice nearly hoarse. “So much Lexa. You have no idea how much.” Lexa felt one corner of her mouth turn up slightly in a weak attempt at a grin. “I think I have some idea.” Clarke managed to flash her a little smile, barely there but still enough to make the brunette's chest flood with warmth. The next second that smile fell away and her eyes closed, and then Clarke was leaning forward and their foreheads came together lightly. The moment they did Lexa's eyes closed as well, falling into the old familiar touch.  
  
“I'm really so sorry, Lex,” Clarke murmured, and the brunette shook her head, lightly enough not to dislodge the other girl from her. “You don't need to apologize, Clarke. I understand.” She heard the blonde let out a long sigh of frustration, as though it was the only way to get rid of her residual guilt, and tilted her head, pressing a little harder against Clarke's.  
  
Neither of them knew how long they sat there like that, each trying to let go of the pain and guilt from the past so they could move on to a future where they were close again. Lexa felt like she could stay like this forever, Clarke right next to her and their foreheads together. She'd always believed with the two of them together they could accomplish anything, and suddenly everything seemed possible again. She knew things wouldn't immediately go back to the way they'd been when they were seven, but maybe now they could at least work towards it again. Hopefully now they would no longer be confined to messages at their windows or simple hellos as they passed each other in the hallways and otherwise ignoring that the other existed; for now, that was more than enough for Lexa.  
  
Finally Clarke pulled back a little, and the brunette's eyes opened to find her already looking at her. Though traces of her guilt still swam in those blue eyes, the blonde looked far calmer than she had a few minutes ago. Her lips curled up just a little, a very small smile tugging at them, and then Clarke briefly bumped her forehead back against Lexa's.  
  
“Thanks,” she said, her tone still soft. “I really needed that. All of it. And even though you say I don't need to be, I really am sorry.” Lexa returned her smile with a small one of her own. “I'm always here for you, Clarke,” she replied, and watched as the blonde's smile grew. “I know. You always have been. And I'm going to be here for you from now on, Lexa. I promise.” The brunette grinned, her heart fluttering wonderfully in her chest, and just nodded. “I like that. Very much.”  
  
For a few more minutes they sat together, both feeling more at peace than they had for possibly years. Eventually Clarke glanced back up at the sky, and Lexa noticed one corner of her mouth tug up a little higher.  
  
“You know, I haven't made a wish since that night,” she informed her, and the brunette's eyebrows rose a little. That more than anything told her just how much she'd blamed herself for everything that happened, since wishing had always been Clarke's favorite thing to do. “Not on any stars or birthday candles or anything. I was always too afraid to. But I think I'm gonna make a birthday wish right now.”  
  
“What are you going to wish?” Lexa wanted to know, and the smile Clarke gave her made it momentarily difficult to breathe. “That I don't ever go another week without seeing you smile. I don't think I could make a better wish than that.” Her words brought on that exact reaction, Lexa's lips slowly pulling up into a little smile, and then she bumped her shoulder lightly against the blonde's. “I like that wish. I like it a lot.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Mm,” Costia let out in a contented sigh as she leaned back in her chair, letting her fork fall back against the table. Lexa's lips tugged up into a little smile, and then she nodded towards the girl's plate. “Glad you went with the eggplant then?” Her girlfriend nodded, grinning right back. “Absolutely. Far superior to the chicken.” The brunette shook her head lightly, lips still curled up, and then took another bite of her chicken alfredo.  
  
It was their sixth month anniversary, and Lexa had been determined to make it amazing. She'd been planning it for over a week. The morning started with meeting her girlfriend at her locker with a bouquet of flowers and box of Dove chocolates, Costia's favorite, and continued on with a trip to the aquarium once school had ended. Now they sat in the other girl's favorite Italian restaurant, and Lexa couldn't help but feel a little impressed with herself from the happy curl of Costia's smile. So far it looked like she'd done pretty well, and the night wasn't even over yet.  
  
Their waiter approached, apparently having noticed one of the table's occupants leaning happily back in her chair, and gave them an easy smile. “Can I get you a box, Miss?” he asked, and Costia nodded. “Please.” Lexa put her fork down too, grabbing his attention and nodded as well. “I'll take one too.” He flashed both of them another smile as he nodded and then turned around to head back to the kitchen. Costia watched him go and then glanced around the room, shaking her head a little.  
  
“I still can't believe you remembered this is my favorite restaurant,” she said, apparently impressed. Giving her a look, she added, “And seriously Lexa, let me help pay. This place isn't cheap.”  
  
Lexa shook her head, her smile feeling as though it might be there permanently.  
  
“No,” she replied easily, reaching across the table and taking her girlfriend's hand. “I told you, tonight everything is on me. I want to do this for you.” She paused for a second, and then added, “And of course I remembered it's your favorite. I wouldn't forget a detail like that.” Even though they'd only been here once before and it had been towards the beginning of the relationship, she'd been sure to file the fact away. She'd done her best to remember all of Costia's favorite things, and today she'd used those memories to make the other girl smile over and over again. She kind of felt like patting herself on the back for a job well done, but decided to save that for later.  
  
The waiter came back with the two boxes and the check, and Lexa smiled at him as she paid it, Costia rolling her eyes across from her. A few minutes later they were leaving, their boxes in one hand while they held the other as they made their way to Costia's car.  
  
During the ride back to her house, Lexa sat back in her seat, perfectly content. So far the anniversary had gone just as she'd hoped it would, and save for a few lulls in conversation where she caught Costia staring off into space, something clearly on her mind, she couldn't help but call it all a success. The day had gone wonderfully, just as the past week had, and Lexa felt a certain warmth spreading through her at the thought.  
  
Ever since the truth of why Clarke had pulled away came out, they'd been spending more time together. It was never quite like it had been when they were kids, but there had definitely been a change. They talked daily, even if only for a few minutes, and every time they did Lexa found herself walking away with a silly smile on her face. Their friend groups were still very different, so it wasn't like they spent all their time together, but it was at least a start in the right direction. Anya still rolled her eyes whenever Clarke approached them or Lexa went over to her, and the brunette could feel some sort of stiffness between the two blondes but neither of them seemed to really acknowledge it. Despite asking both of them about it, she'd never gotten a straight answer about what had happened in the kitchen the night of Clarke's party, but it had gotten the other girl to finally open up to her so she couldn't say she wasn't exactly glad it had happened. She'd be happier if her two best friends could easily get along, but since one of them was Anya she figured it could be worse. It was highly entertaining whenever Raven was with Clarke when they ran into each other; the cheeky brunette still made it clear she was interested in Anya in one way or another, using lame pick up lines and little smirks to get her attention. Anya always rolled her eyes and dismissed her, but Lexa was pretty sure she'd seen her smirk a couple of times as they walked away, something she'd been very careful not to point out. If she did she knew she'd just get a glare back, so she'd decided to remain quiet and see what happened.  
  
Overall, everything in her life seemed to finally be going just right, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy.  
  
As they pulled into her driveway, Lexa looked over to her side, finding Costia staring off again. There was something there in her look that the brunette wasn't quite sure of, couldn't remember ever seeing before, and it tugged at something inside her. She couldn't quite name it, but it made her feel a little off, a little less perfect than she'd been feeling a moment ago, and so she tried to push it away.  
  
“Would you like to come in?” Lexa asked, trying to ignore the feeling. She gave Costia a look from the corner of her eye, flashing her a little smile. “Aden's out with a friend tonight and Dad's still working so we have the house all to ourselves.” She'd had to give her brother twenty dollars to convince him to get some friends to go to a movie, but it had been worth it. Everything about this night was supposed to be perfect, and that meant coming back to an empty house. Costia returned the smile, the look disappearing and Lexa felt herself relax again. “Sure,” she answered, giving the brunette a little nod. “Sounds fun.” Something about her tone still tugged at her but Lexa decided not to question it too much. The other girl was probably just tired after a long week and needed to relax. As they got out of the car she tried to decide the best way to help, still wanting to make this night perfect for her girlfriend. They could light a few candles and cuddle on the couch and choose whatever Costia wanted on Netflix; that might help. Maybe she could even give her a back massage to help her de-stress.  
  
Leading the way to the front door, Lexa grabbed her key from her pocket and unlocked it, pushing it open. They made their way inside, slipping out of their light jackets and removing their shoes, and Costia went straight for the couch. Lexa bypassed it, taking the box of leftovers the other girl still carried and going into the kitchen, and when she came back the leftovers were gone. Instead she carried a few candles, a box of matches tucked in the crook of her elbow.  
  
“Ah, the famous candles,” Costia joked, and she gave her another smile. “I thought a little mood lighting might be nice,” she said, carefully arranging the candles around the room. Giving her girlfriend a look, she added a little smugly, “I bet my candle addiction isn't so strange now.” The other girl let out a little laugh and it made Lexa's heart flutter slightly, the sound like musical notes. Thinking of music, she pulled her phone from her pocket and looked over her shoulder. “Do you want to watch a movie, or we could listen to some music? Whichever you want.”  
  
“How about music?” Costia suggested and Lexa nodded before lightly tossing her phone over to the girl on the couch. “Pick whatever you want. Or we can listen to yours, that's fine too.” She turned back to the candles, making sure they were spread out in a way that would produce the best romantic lighting, and started humming almost the moment her Adele playlist began playing, _Someone Like You_ quietly filling up the room. Striking a match, she lit one candle, fingertips running lightly down the hard wax before she lit the wick and blew out the match. Carrying the lit candle around the room, she used it to light the rest of them, and then brought the first candle back over to the couch with her and carefully placed it on the table beside her. As she sat down to join her girlfriend, she glanced up, finding Costia watching her with a little smile. “What?” she asked, and the other girl just shook her head.  
  
“Nothing,” she answered, “You're just cute, that's all. Even if you are obsessed.”  
  
“I am not obsessed,” she reiterated, repeating the same argument she continually had to fight over and over with all of her friends. “I have a perfectly healthy amount of candles as a collection. That is entirely normal.” Amusement flashed across Costia's face, having heard the same thing many times before and she shook her head. “Of course it is,” she agreed, clearly not actually believing it, “Whatever you say, Lexa.”  
  
Wanting to get past the candle conversation, Lexa shifted a little closer to her, reaching forward and taking her hand. Her fingers slipped through Costia's, locking together, and she gave them a little squeeze. Glancing up, she caught the other girl studying her, something she couldn't read settled deep behind her eyes. Something about the look felt off still, not quite right, but she couldn't say why.  
  
“What did you think of dinner?” she asked, “Did I pick the right place for the sixth month anniversary?” The look disappeared, hidden now as brown eyes lit up a little. Costia leaned forward, running her thumb over the back of her knuckles, and nodded.  
  
“It was perfect,” she replied, giving her a smile, “You spoiled me tonight.” Lexa returned the look, ducking her head for a second before looking back up. “You deserve to be spoiled.” Costia rolled her eyes playfully and the look nearly made the brunette laugh. She was about to lean forward when she suddenly remembered something and then she was standing up again, pulling her hand away from her girlfriend's.  
  
“Almost forgot,” she said, flashing the other girl a smile when she looked at her curiously. She left the room again, feeling Costia's eyes on her, and this time when she came back from the kitchen she was carrying a little plate, a big slice of strawberry rhubarb pie on it. The other girl's eyes widened seeing it, and Lexa's lips curled up a little further. “I made us dessert,” she told her, slipping back onto the couch, sitting a little closer to Costia this time. She handed her a fork, still grinning at the other girl's wide eyes.  
  
“You made that?” she asked, and then as Lexa nodded she leaned forward, stealing a piece of the pie. She let out a little groan the moment it was in her mouth, and Lexa's grin grew. This was yet another of Costia's favorites, and from the look on her face it too was a success. “So good. I can't believe you made it.”  
  
“I can bake,” Lexa replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders a little, and Costia's eyes flickered back to her. “No, I mean I can't believe you made it for me.” The brunette's grin softened and then her knee bumped lightly against the other girl's. “I wanted to. I wanted tonight to be perfect.” Costia looked away and then back, returning her look, and then leaned a little closer. They took turns taking bites from the slice of pie, sharing looks over their forks, and Lexa was pretty sure everything was kind of perfect, just like she'd hoped it would be.  
  
The pie gone, she placed the empty plate and forks on the table by the candle, and then shifted closer to her girlfriend. Glancing up, she found soft brown eyes watching her, the flicker of the candle light reflecting back at her, and the flicker seemed to make the warmth in Lexa's chest spread out further. She leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and Costia mirrored it until their lips connected. She could feel the slight hitch in the other girl's breath, saw her eyes fall closed before her own followed, and happily let herself fall into the kiss. One hand shifted to find Costia's again, their fingers intertwining, and the other moved carefully to the back of her neck, cupping it lightly. The other girl's free hand moved as well, shifting to her shoulder and gripping it. They both tumbled into the kiss, lost in a world of candles and pie and the other, and as Adele's voice continued to surround them Lexa couldn't help but sink into the perfectness of it all. After a minute or two they sunk even further into it, Costia slowly shifting backwards and Lexa following, until the other girl was on her back and Lexa hovered over her. Their lips disconnected and the brunette's eyes opened, the other girl's following a second later, and they just stared at each other. Happiness spread through Lexa, leaving her entirely warm and content, until she saw something flash in the back of brown eyes, something sad and almost heart-wrenching, and she found herself frowning.  
  
“What's wrong?” she asked, not able to miss or ignore the look this time, and she watched Costia's throat work as she tried to swallow. Her lips curled up into an incredibly small smile even as the look remained in her eyes, and Lexa couldn't hide her surprise when she heard the other girl whisper, “I'm sorry.”  
  
“For what?” she asked, scanning Costia's face. “You didn't do anything.”  
  
“I think I'm about to,” the other girl told her, voice still incredibly quiet. Lexa looked at her, thoroughly confused and having no idea what was going on, until she continued, “I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.”  
  
Lexa froze, her words shocking her so thoroughly she wasn't even entirely sure she'd heard them. They replayed in her head, repeating over and over but didn't register. She couldn't move, couldn't think, and then she realized she was shaking her head.  
  
“N-No,” she heard herself saying, the single word breaking up. “I don't... I don't understand.” Costia shifted beneath her, her fingers gripping lightly against her shoulder, and then she felt her pushing her up, the touch still gentle. Lexa followed it, her body too much in shock to move on its own, and then they were sitting up again and she was still staring into brown eyes flickering with sadness. She scanned them, trying to read the emotions she saw but found she couldn't, everything suddenly hidden away from her. When she spoke again, her voice sounded small even to her own ears, to the point where she wasn't even entirely sure she was the one speaking. “What did I do?”  
  
“Nothing,” Costia answered softly, her head shaking ever so slightly, probably trying to brush away Lexa's fear. “You didn't do anything. I just... I can't anymore.”  
  
The words stole Lexa's breath from her lungs, terror at what they meant beginning to push past her shock and crawl up her spine. “I, I don't understand. I thought... I thought this was working. I thought you were happy.”  
  
“I am,” the other girl replied, but there was that sadness to her voice that said otherwise. Her grip on Lexa's hand tightened for just a second and then loosened again. “I love you, Lexa. That hasn't changed.” The words simultaneously made the brunette's heart skip a beat and her confusion double, nothing she was saying making any sense. “I love you, but I can't ignore it anymore.”  
  
“Ignore what?” Lexa wanted to know, so completely lost while she tried not to lose herself to the cold ache gnawing a hole into her gut. None of this made any sense, none of it, but the look Costia gave her made her feel like she should already know what was going on. “Come on Lexa,” she said, her voice still soft, and the brunette almost wished it wasn't. This might be easier to believe if she were yelling and screaming, but the softness tore into her in a way she didn't know how to defend against. “You know.” She shook her head, refusing to look away as she stated, “No, no I don't.”  
  
Costia held her eyes for a second, something flashing inside them as though she knew something Lexa didn't, and then she answered simply, “Clarke.” The blonde's name caused Lexa to freeze entirely, immediately going still, and something new twinged in her gut, nearly lost beneath the gnawing. After a second she asked a little defensively, “What about her?” Costia raised an eyebrow, giving her a look as though the answer were obvious.  
  
“There's something there, Lexa,” she replied, and didn't miss the way the brunette frowned. “I don't think even you see it, but there's something between you two, and I can't compete with it.”  
  
Her words took Lexa completely by surprise, almost more shocked by them than she was this break up. “Clarke and I are just friends,” she argued. “Nothing more. And we've only recently started being friends again. We aren't...” She shook her head, her brow furrowing. “Whatever you think is there Costia, it isn't.” The other girl looked at her sadly, that look back in her eyes as though she knew something Lexa didn't, and all it did was frustrate the brunette even more.  
  
“I really believe you think that,” she said, giving a small, sad shrug of her shoulders. “And maybe right now it's true, but it's not going to stay that way.” Lexa shook her head, clenching her jaw, but Costia didn't stop. “I saw the way you two looked at each other at her party; you're never going to look at me that way. The way you look at her it's... special.”  
  
“I don't look at her in anyway,” Lexa tried to say, but the words felt like a lie even to her. To try to fix it, she added, “She and I are friends, we have a long history together, but it isn't romantic. It's just... complicated.” The corners of Costia's lips pulled up a little, the look far from happy despite her attempt. “That history is what I can't compete with. It wasn't romantic, and maybe it isn't even romantic right now, but there's something there. I know it. You two were each other's first kiss, you proposed to her and run to her whenever she needs you, it's more than just friendship. I know it is, Lexa.”  
  
The brunette got caught on the reminder of the kiss and proposal, and her eyes widened.  
  
“Is that what this is about?” she wanted to know, her free hand clenching tightly at her side. “Costia, I was _seven_. It was just a stupid kiss, it didn't mean anything, and the proposal was just, just a silly idea I had to get out of having to be Tristan's girlfriend!” Even as she spoke, her heart clenched in her chest, not believing her own words and she could tell from the look in Costia's eyes she didn't believe them anymore than she did.  
  
“Lexa, I don't care that you kissed your neighbor when you were seven or that you proposed to her,” she told her, “It would be stupid if I did. I care that, that there's obviously something between you two even if neither of you can see it. I can't stay here with you, just waiting for you to see it too. I deserve better than that and so do you.”  
  
“I love you,” Lexa heard herself whisper, her pain obvious to both of them as it laced around the words. Costia's lips pressed together, her eyes shutting for a second before a tear slipped from one of them. Her free hand moved to Lexa's cheek, gripping it gently, and then she was leaning forward and their lips connected. This kiss wasn't like their last or even any of the previous ones, each suddenly able to feel the other's hurt through this small connection alone. Costia pressed more firmly against her mouth and Lexa drank it up, her hands flying to her head, trying to hold her in place. Maybe if she held on tight enough, the other girl wouldn't stop, wouldn't pull away and walk out of her house and then her life. Maybe if she held on they could both forget this conversation had ever happened and go back to being happy.  
  
The maybe never came. Despite Lexa's best efforts, Costia pulled back, pulled away, and her hands fell to her lap, suddenly feeling completely alone even with the other girl still in front of her. “I'm sorry,” Costia whispered, her own grief clear in them, but Lexa couldn't make herself say anything in response. The other girl watched her for a few more seconds and then stood up, leaving Lexa alone on the couch. The brunette just continued to stare forward, unable to watch as Costia turned away from her and left her behind. She heard her retreating footsteps, heard her front door open and then shut, and then a minute later heard Costia's car start and pull out of the driveway, and her heart crumbled in her chest.  
  
For a while Lexa just sat in the dark, the flickering light of the candles the only thing moving. She couldn't quite comprehend what had just happened, how a night that had been going so well had left her feeling so irreparably alone. Their conversation replayed over and over in her head, everything Costia said echoing in her ears as though it were on a loop, and she just wanted to turn it all off. Her chest ached, her tattered heart hurting with every beat, and it took all she had to hold herself together. Her gut rolled and the back of her throat burned and for a second she considered burying herself in a mound of blankets and just letting herself cry. It would feel good, she knew, to let the tears come, to try to wash this profound sadness from her insides, but for the moment she was too numb to know how. The tears wouldn't come, maybe couldn't come, so she just sat there, staring at the spot her girlfriend had been in only a few minutes ago when she'd still been her girlfriend. Everything about this night was supposed to have been wonderful, and really she just couldn't quite fathom how it had gone so horribly wrong so suddenly. What had she done wrong?  
  
Finally, as though moving on autopilot, she got up and made her way around the room, blowing out all the candles. The immense satisfaction she usually got whenever she looked at a piece of her collection wouldn't come this time, seemed to be stuck behind the wall of shock and pain she could feel forming around her. She went around until each was out, and then just stood in the dark living room for a moment, not caring that she could barely see anything around her. There wasn't anything to see anyway, not now that she was alone again. Adele's voice continued to pour softly from her phone, low and more mournful than Lexa had ever heard it before, and she just let the music continue to play as she made her way up the stairs to her room, every step making her feel heavier than the last.  
  
Once in her room, she looked around, feeling a little lost. The things there that would normally make her happy – her books, a couple of fencing trophies, a few pictures of the people she cared about – only left her feeling more empty, and she didn't know what to do about it. She felt so entirely alone, so much so she was nearly devoid of any emotion at all, and she hated it. She hated the hole in her gut, the way everything seemed to fall through it and spread easily to the rest of her, and needed desperately to fill it. For a second she considered calling Anya to tell her what had happened, but almost as soon as she had the idea she dismissed it. She loved her best friend and always would, but Anya's gruffness wasn't what she needed right now. The problem though was that she didn't know what she needed, only knew that she felt lost, like she were trapped in a cage of her own emotions and couldn't get out of them or even control them, and it left her feeling entirely hollow. She was lost, and she didn't know what to do about it.  
  
Glancing out her window, she suddenly knew. Maybe this was just proving Costia's point, but she didn't care; she needed Clarke, and that was all there was to it. Quickly she made her way over to her desk, grabbed the walkie-talkie from its basket, and held it up. “Clarke?” she said as she pressed down against the button. “Are you there?” She stared into the blonde's dark bedroom, hoping against hope she had just decided to go to bed early and was actually there. “Clarke, please? Please, I really need you right now.” Her voice broke a little as she spoke but still the tears held back, refusing to fall even as she stared desperately into the other girl's window. She stared for minutes, practically praying to hear the static from the little device and see the lights flick on, but the walkie-talkie remained silent and the room stayed dark. Her heart clenched painfully, that pain tearing through her, and then she fell back on her bed, sitting and staring at the opposite wall as her grief consumed her.  
  
She didn't know how long she sat in the dark of her room, the walkie-talkie still pressed tightly against her palm, but then she was standing back up. The device fell to her bed and she left it there as she turned, mechanically making her way out of her room. Her feet led her back down the stairs and then out of her house, and she had no idea where she was going, too lost in her pain to pay any attention. All she knew was that she was walking, trying to leave the painful memory of the break up behind her, but no matter how many steps she took it was always right there, replaying at the forefront of her mind.  
  
Lexa had been paying so little attention to where she'd been going that she was genuinely surprised when she looked up, the elementary school playground suddenly in front of her. It was empty, no kids around to play on it this late at night, and suddenly it looked almost as sad as she felt. The slide stood on its own, a kind of quiet solitude surrounding it, while the swings hung emptily, only the bare breeze moving them at all. Without any kids to play on it, the playground became obsolete, unnecessary, and the thought tugged at the girl's chest. Wanting to give it a purpose again, she pushed the gate open, the chain holding it closed just long enough for her to slip through, and then made her way over to the swings. She moved automatically, her legs taking her to the swing farthest on the right, and then she sat down heavily on it. It was a little too small for her now, built to carry her seven year old self to the stars, but she didn't care. Slowly she began to push herself back and forth slightly, her feet never leaving the wood chips beneath her. Rather than look up at the stars she stared at the chips below, her mind flashing between moments of thinking of nothing and remembering what had just happened, and she honestly didn't know which was better, the nothing or the pain.  
  
She knew she'd been sitting there awhile when she heard the gate squeak behind her because goosebumps had formed along her arms, the chill of the night starting to get to her. Footsteps approached her from behind but she didn't move. If someone was coming to yell at her for being here so late at night, she really couldn't care less. She waited, fully expecting it, and then was almost surprised when instead the person sat in the swing beside her. Glancing over, for some reason that surprise went away the second she saw Clarke, the blonde looking at her curiously. She didn't question what she was doing there, how she'd managed to find her, and instead just let the blonde's presence surround her. Somehow this just felt right, as though the universe itself had sent Clarke to her when she needed her the most.  
  
“Lexa?” she said, her voice soft, and the brunette knew she must be able to sense that something wasn't right. “What are you doing out here?”  
  
Without looking up, Lexa just shrugged. “Needed to go for a walk,” she answered, her voice a little rough. “I just kind of ended up here.” She could feel Clarke's eyes on her, could feel her studying her and then wasn't surprised when she heard her ask quietly, “Lexa, what's wrong?”  
  
For a moment she didn't answer, not wanting to say it. As soon as she said it out loud, the words would be true, and she desperately didn't want them to be. However much she wanted them to be a lie though, she knew she couldn't hide from them forever, so finally she answered a little stiffly, “Costia and I broke up.” That wasn't exactly right, not exactly what had happened, so she amended, “She broke up with me.”  
  
“Lexa,” she heard Clarke whisper, and then sensed it when the blonde pushed her swing a little closer. Her hand moved to the brunette's shoulder, trying to comfort her, and Lexa felt herself sink into it. “Why? What happened?” She shook her head, not able to get the words out, and then suddenly the dam broke. Where before she'd been unable to cry, unable to get the tears past her shock, now they came, slipping from the corners of her eyes and rolling easily down her cheeks. Her head fell forward, her face twisting up in pain, and her shoulders shook from her silent tears. Between her quiet sobs she heard Clarke move beside her, leaving her swing, and then she was standing in front of Lexa and the brunette's head was pressed against her stomach. One hand went to her shoulder, holding it tightly, while the other moved to her head, fingers suddenly running lightly through her hair, always careful of her braids.  
  
“Sh,” she heard Clarke whisper, the sound soothing. “I'm right here, Lexa. I'm here. You're okay; I've got you.” The brunette felt herself nod against the other girl but couldn't help it as she cried harder, a war of emotions battling inside her. The grief from the loss of her relationship dominated, but beneath it she could feel something else, some peace brought on solely by the blonde in front of her and she desperately wanted to fall into it. With every slide of fingers along her scalp and every soothing word whispered, she did fall a little more, until it overshadowed the grief that still sat heavily in her chest. She let herself cry until she was all cried out, and even once she'd stopped Clarke still held her, almost as though she refused to let go.  
  
“Thanks,” she croaked, finally pulling back enough so she could look up at the blonde. Glancing at the wet stains on her shirt, she winced. “Sorry about your shirt.” Clarke shrugged, clearly not concerned about it in the slightest. “It'll dry,” she said, and then Lexa watched as blue eyes scanned over her face. She could clearly see the worry still in them as she asked quietly, “Are you okay?”  
  
Lexa nodded, her head feeling heavy, a little fuzzy from all her feelings. “Yeah,” she muttered, attempting to give the other girl a smile, but she knew it didn't come anywhere near to making it to her eyes. “I'm okay.” Clarke studied her still, reading the lie, but didn't pick at it. Instead she bent over a little, hand moving to Lexa's pocket, and the other girl frowned, a fog still clouding her mind and making it difficult to figure out what was happening. When the blonde pulled back, she had her phone in her hand, and it was only then that Lexa realized her music was still playing. She must have heard it all this time somewhere in her mind, but the sound had been so overshadowed by everything else it had become white noise in the background that was far too easy to ignore. Clarke paused the music and suddenly the silence felt heavy around them, Lexa's ears nearly ringing with it. Handing the phone back to her, the blonde continued to give her a look before she moved back over to her swing, sitting in it without taking her eyes off the brunette.  
  
“What happened?” she asked carefully, obviously not wanting to upset her again but needing to know. “Why did she break up with you?” Lexa looked away from her as she slipped her phone back into her pocket, not really sure she should tell her the answer, but she'd never lied to Clarke before and didn't want to start now. “You,” she finally said, the word quiet, but even so she could read the other girl's surprise as her eyes widened.  
  
“Me?” she said, that same surprise clear in her voice. She frowned then, something flashing across her face, and then asked, “Did I, did I do something?”  
  
Instantly Lexa shook her head. “No,” she answered, wanting to wipe Clarke's worry away. “You didn't do anything, Clarke. It was just Costia. She...” She trailed off, feeling herself blush a little as she thought back to what her girlfriend – ex-girlfriend, she needed to get used to that – had said about them. One of the blonde's eyebrows quirked up, curious and still worried, and Lexa continued, “Costia thinks that you and I, um... She thinks that we're more than friends. Or that we could be, I guess.” She really blushed then, her cheeks heating up and wondered if it was dark enough for Clarke not to notice it. Despite how close the two had been when they were little, the thought of a romantic relationship with her had never crossed Lexa's mind, and now that it did it just seemed silly. She'd always thought Clarke was beautiful, that was true, and anyone would be lucky to date her, but the two of them together would just be strange. They had a strong friendship, one that clearly nothing could break, but it wasn't anything more than that, and the fact that Costia thought otherwise clearly showed how little she understood it.  
  
Clarke stared at her for a second, obviously as surprised by the idea as Lexa was, and the brunette found herself glancing over at her. Finally the other girl shook her head, as though wiping the thought away. “Oh,” she just said, and Lexa could tell from the way she said it she'd never thought of them that way before either. “That's... oh.” She frowned then and looked over to the brunette, meeting her eyes. “I can talk to her, if you want,” she offered. “Tell her that we're not... That we're just friends. Maybe she'd change her mind if she knew she was wrong.”  
  
Lexa's heart skipped a beat, her lips curling up into a small smile at the offer. Of course Clarke would want to help, would offer to talk to Costia for her; she'd always just wanted her to be happy, and here she was again doing whatever it took to make it happen. She shook her head, but didn't look away from her best friend.  
  
“No,” she replied, “You don't have to do that. I don't think it would help anyway; she really seems to believe it. Thanks though.”  
  
“Of course,” Clarke replied, giving her a little smile. “I'd do anything for you Lexa, you know that.” The brunette smiled and nodded because it was true, she did know Clarke would do absolutely anything for her, just like she'd do anything for the blonde. Her hand fell down beside her and then Clarke's did the same, and they were both surprised when they suddenly felt their pinkies wrap together. Neither had initiated it, not purposefully at least, but being out on these swings seemed to have pulled them together again, and suddenly it felt exactly as it did when they were seven, pinkies wrapped together and ready to take on the world. This feeling of invincibility spread through Lexa, pushing back any lingering traces of her pain, and she happily settled into it.  
  
As though it were a completely natural reaction, Lexa felt Clarke's pinky tighten slightly around her own. “I'm sorry this happened, Lex,” she murmured, voice quiet. “And I'm really sorry if I had anything to do with it.”  
  
“You didn't,” Lexa promised, returning her grip quickly. “It's just... This is just what Costia wanted, I guess.” The other girl shook her head, the corners of her lips pulling down. “She has no idea what she lost,” she told her, pushing her swing over a little closer. “She gave up the greatest girlfriend anyone could ever have.” The brunette flashed her a tiny smile of thanks, and then that smile fell away a little as a fresh burning filled her throat. “It was our sixth month anniversary,” she informed her quietly, apparently feeling the need to share that piece of information. Realistically she knew it shouldn't matter, it would have hurt whenever she did it, but somehow it hurt a little more knowing her relationship had ended exactly six months after it began.  
  
Beside her she noticed Clarke's jaw clench a little, her shoulders stiffening. Clearly that piece of information didn't settle well with the blonde, but after a second she just pushed herself even closer to Lexa, telling her, “She didn't deserve you, Lexa. Not even a little. You're gonna find someone better than her, someone who knows you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”  
  
Lexa let out a small, barely existent laugh. “Apparently I've already found that someone,” she replied, looking over to the blonde and giving her a little look. Clarke's lips curled up at her words, and then she swung over further, bumping their shoulders together before she let her swing pull her away again. “You deserve someone better than me, but I guess I can fill the position until that someone comes along. I am supposed to be your husband after all.” Lexa opened her mouth to tell her there wasn't anyone on earth better than her, but at the last minute changed her mind. The words seemed too much like something that Costia could have used in her argument, so instead she said, “And I'm supposed to be your husband.” Thinking about that for a second, her brow furrowed and then she asked, “Does that mean we've been cheating on each other all this time?”  
  
Clarke let out a laugh, shaking her head lightly.  
  
“I don't know,” she answered and then shrugged. “Maybe? But we never actually got married, so maybe not.” Lexa glanced up, thinking out loud as she wondered, “Why didn't we? We agreed to get married on your birthday but then we didn't. I feel like that's something we wouldn't have forgotten.”  
  
“We were going to, remember?” Clarke said, flashing her a look. “We were going to have my old bear perform the service after I finished unwrapping presents, but then Aden got sick from eating too much cake and we got distracted.”  
  
“Oh yeah,” Lexa replied, her lips pulling up into a grin. “Mr. Snugglesworth, I forgot about him.” Faking seriousness, she added, “I'm sure he would have ordained a lovely service, if not for my little brother.” The blonde rolled her eyes, muttering, “I should not have let my father name that bear. I had to change it after Raven met him; she was far too entertained by it and said it all the time.”  
  
“You can't just rename Mr. Snugglesworth, Clarke,” Lexa admonished her, trying to maintain a serious expression but feeling it slipping away even as she tried to give the blonde a look. “He is who he is, and you just need to accept that.” She paused then, and then shrugged. “Though I think you can probably forgive yourself for letting your father name him; you were three, after all.”  
  
Clarke grinned, nodding solemnly. “You're right. And we can probably both forgive your brother, since he was only four when all that happened.” Lexa frowned, not entirely sure she could agree with that, and then replied as seriously as she could, “I don't know Clarke, he apparently ruined my wedding day. I'm not sure I can forgive him for that.” She laughed, shaking her head, and then said, “Tell you what, I'll still agree to be your husband if it'll keep you from disowning your brother.” Lexa's head tilted to the side a little, as though she were thinking it over, and then nodded. “Alright, deal.”  
  
Letting out another light laugh, the blonde grinned, her feet pushing against the ground and making her swing shift back a little. “Man, I haven't been on a swing in years,” she stated, looking up at the bar over their heads. Lexa followed the look, glancing past the bar and to the sky, finding clouds covering the stars above them. “Me neither,” she murmured, and then her lips pulled up into a little grin, the playfulness still filling her chest. “I bet I can go higher than you.” She couldn't quite say how her evening had turned out like this, how she'd gone from happy to lost to playful all in only a couple short hours, all she knew was that at this moment everything felt right even if there was still a little ball of sadness wrapped tightly in her gut. She looked over and caught Clarke's grin, and that feeling just increased. Apparently this was the power the blonde had over her, and she decided she was entirely okay with it.  
  
“Oh, you're so on,” Clarke replied, easily accepting the challenge. “I'm going to kick your butt.” She pushed off the ground heavily, sending her swing back and brought her legs up, already pushing to see how high she could go.  
  
“I don't think so,” Lexa stated, following the movement and kicking her own swing into motion. “I always won when we were kids, now I'm going to win again.”  
  
“You did not always win!” Clarke exclaimed, throwing her a look, mouth still tugging up at its corners. “I absolutely crushed you.”  
  
“Only when I let you,” she replied playfully, her grief all but wiped out from the simple and pure joy of this moment. She heard Clarke scoff beside her and her grin grew as the two pumped their legs to try to get themselves ever higher. The fact that their pinkies remained glued together between them didn't seem to bother either of them, even if it meant neither could go any higher than the other. Their swings fell out of sink and they swung in crazy patterns, neither just going straight anymore as the connection with the other pulled them off the natural course, but they both just laughed, neither caring that they couldn't win.  
  
For over an hour they stayed like that, twisting and swinging back and forth, their pinkies never letting go of the other, and Lexa's chest felt lighter than it had all day. Clarke made her happy in a way she couldn't really explain, and she was more than content to just let that spread around her until it was all she knew. As the blonde's laugh filled her, she realized that nothing had ever sounded more beautiful or made her feel more right. Costia may have been wrong about there being anything romantic between them, but she had been right about one thing; Clarke was special, and that was a truth Lexa absolutely knew to be true.  
  
The two continued to laugh together during the remainder of their time on the playground and still more as they walked back to their houses together, and Lexa couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun. During all of it their pinkies remained together, unlinking only when they finally had to part to go into their separate houses, and Lexa could have sworn she felt it tingling as she made her way inside her house. Her pinky tingled and her heart beat quickly, glad she had a best friend who would always be able to make her smile no matter what else might be going on in her life. With or without a girlfriend, she had Clarke, and she couldn't help but think that maybe she didn't need anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave this heads up on the last chapter of _Girl Next Door_ but want to give it here as well for anyone only reading this. Because of the length of both chapter fours, I got a little behind in my writing, so I might not be able to update every day this week. I have Clarke's fifth chapter done and am about half way through Lexa's sixth chapter, so I will probably be able to update normally through Wednesday, but I'm not sure I'll have Clarke's sixth chapter ready for Thursday. If I do miss it though, please know I will be working hard to get it and the last two chapters done and up as soon as possible! Thank you everyone, and I hope you're enjoying the stories!


	6. Chapter 6

“I will never understand the excitement surrounding football,” Lexa muttered, having to step to the side quickly as a group of teenagers passed her, all talking quickly and not watching where they were going. Beside her her father gave a slight shrug as he tucked a thin blanket under his arm. “Sports just have that effect on people. Especially when the point of the game is to tackle the other team to keep them from getting any points.”  
  
“Like I said,” Lexa repeated, not in the slightest bit impressed, “I will never understand it.”  
  
The big day had arrived, the day when the Polis Warriors would face the Azgeda Giants, and it seemed like all day football was the only thing anyone could talk about. Even most of her teachers had brought it up, wishing luck to the players in her classes, and she'd had a hard time not rolling her eyes the entire time. She understood competition and the desire to win, but with football everyone always elevated it even higher, as though it was the greatest thing ever invented and she truly just didn't get it. She would have happily missed the game if Aden weren't cheering for it, but since he had always gone to watch her in every fencing competition she figured she could be there for him on his big day. Though from how pale he was beside her, it didn't look like he was quite as excited for the game as everyone else. It wouldn't be the first one he'd cheered at, but apparently it would have the largest crowd, and that knowledge seemed to have gotten to him.  
  
Her father must have noticed it too. “What do you think, Aden? Are you ready to go out there and cheer on the team?”  
  
“Nope,” he replied, eyes constantly moving as he watched all the people around them streaming into the stands, and Lexa bumped lightly against his shoulder. When he met her eyes, she held them. “Jus drein, jus daun,” she stated quietly, knowing the words her team always used would work on him as well. He swallowed thickly and then nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Jus drein, jus daun,” he repeated, not tripping over them at all. New fencers often had a hard time getting their mouths to work around the foreign words, but he'd been hearing them for so long they came naturally to him.  
  
The three made their way onto the grassy field, headed towards the bleachers. They were about half full already with friends and family and town members scattered throughout them, while more people idled around the field, apparently waiting to sit until the game was starting. She caught more flashes of green and black, their school colors, than she could ever remember seeing before, and on the far end of the bleachers she found a dense population of gray and blue, the fans of the away team. In an attempt to show school pride she'd worn a green sweater, the closest she wanted to get to partaking in this over-popularized charade of school spirit. Her father had donned a black jacket, not owning anything else in their school colors, while Aden already wore his cheering uniform. Across the field they saw a few other cheerleaders assembling, and she felt her brother take a deep breath beside her.  
  
“Jus drein, jus daun,” he muttered again, and her lips curled up a little, nodding at him. He returned the nod and then shot them both a grin in spite of his nerves and began jogging towards his teammates. Lexa watched him go, glancing at the few cheerleaders, but when she didn't see a familiar flash of blonde she looked away again.  
  
“Where would you like to sit?” her father asked as her brother left them, and her gaze turned back to the bleachers. “Anya should be here somewhere,” she replied and he gestured for her to lead the way. Spotting her best friend with a few others a few rows up right in the middle section, she moved towards them, her father right behind her, until a voice pulled their attention away from her friends.  
  
“Gustus!” they heard, and both turned to see Jake and Abby sitting in the front row also towards the middle. A blanket had been draped over their laps – green and black Lexa noticed, very spirited, but as the head cheerleader's parents maybe they had to be – but when he saw them Jake stood up, letting the blanket slide to the ground. His smile widened as he stepped towards them, and beside her Lexa saw her own father's smile grow.  
  
“Jake,” he replied, nodding to the man, and then accepted his quick hug and handshake. Clarke's mother followed and he nodded to her too, hugging her as well. “Abby. It's good to see you again.”  
  
“Great to see you two too,” Abby replied, smiling warmly at them. Jake clapped Gustus on the back and then turned his grin to Lexa. “We heard all about your tournament a couple of weeks ago,” he stated, a twinkle in his eye she would always only be able to associate with him. “Sounds like you are one talented fencer. Congratulations on your win! Clarke said it was one of the most impressive things she'd ever seen.”  
  
Lexa felt herself begin to blush and tried to fight it down. She'd known Clarke had enjoyed it, but she hadn't realized she'd thought she was really that good. Hearing so made butterflies flutter in her stomach and her lips curl up. “Thanks,” she just said, trying not to let on how much the words meant to her. “I had a good day, that was all.” Her father let out a noise almost like a laugh and Jake and Abby both smiled at her in a way that told her how much they didn't believe her.  
  
“Would you like to join us?” Abby asked, looking between them. Lexa glanced up at her friends, trying to find a polite way to refuse but her father saved her. “Lexa's friends are waiting for her, but I would love to,” he said, his lips curling up beneath his thick beard.  
  
“Let the kids sit together while the adults catch up,” Jake agreed with a nod, and then grinned back at the brunette. “Enjoy the game, Lexa!” She returned his smile and nod and then her father handed her the blanket he carried, obviously thinking she'd want it more than he did, and rather than argue she took it. Giving him a nod she turned around and moved on, her father staying behind and the three sitting back down on the bleachers, already caught up in some conversation before she'd even taken more than a few steps. Glancing back over her shoulder as she began making her way up the bleachers, something stirred in her chest, seeing the three together again. The adults had all become good friends when she and Clarke were little, likely entirely due to how close they were, and it was good to see her father spending time with them again. More often than not he was working, trying to pay bills and be a single parent to two teenagers, which meant any kind of social life he had once had barely existed now. Hopefully at the very least he and the Griffins could get back in touch and start spending more time together.  
  
“About time,” Anya growled as she sat in the open spot beside her best friend, “What took you so long?”  
  
“Was I supposed to be here sooner?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow at her as she draped the blanket over her lap, and on Anya's other side Echo waved her hand. “Ignore her, she's in a worse mood than usual for some reason. I've basically decided to just pretend she isn't here.” Anya shot her a glare and she just looked right through it, as though she were actually pretending not to see it.  
  
“That doesn't sound like a bad idea,” Lexa said, both eyebrows raising as Anya's glare turned to her. “Is there a reason you're in a bad mood?” Echo looked around the dirty blonde and she amended, “A worse mood than usual?”  
  
“It's cold and football is stupid,” Anya replied, rolling her eyes. “Why do people care so much whether or not a ball is carried a hundred yards one way or the other?” The brunette shrugged and offered her a corner of her blanket, telling her, “I don't know, but you didn't have to come.” The other girl gave her a look as she accepted the corner, tugging the blanket over her legs. “My brother's playing; of course I came. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it.”  
  
"I think you just like to complain,” Echo decided, her head tilting slightly to the side. “I think it's really how you get your joy in life. That and fencing, which is really just hitting someone with a sword.”  
  
“Hitting someone with a sword is fun,” Anya told her, something neither of the other two could exactly disagree with. “Watching a bunch of people run after a ball and barely move more than a few feet isn't.”  
  
“If you're really looking for a bit of fun, I could help you with that,” they heard, and then looked back to see Raven dropping against the bleacher behind them. She smirked at the dirty blonde, leaning forward a little. “You just say the word, and I'm all yours.”  
  
“Reyes, where the hell did you come from?” Anya demanded, now turning her glare on her. “You're like a a bad cavity or something, you just don't go away.”  
  
“I'm just so sweet,” she replied, giving her a wink. “And everyone needs to indulge in their sweet tooth sometimes.”  
  
“Where do you come up with this?” Lexa wanted to know, both curious and a little impressed in spite of herself. Raven just shrugged, telling her, “What can I say, it's a gift.”  
  
“More like a curse,” Anya mumbled, “Except I think I'm the one cursed.” The other girl leaned forward a little more, nudging her shoulder, and Anya rolled her eyes. “I'm telling you Anya, you're gonna learn to love me. Everyone does.”  
  
“I can barely tolerate you,” she growled, but there was less bite to her tone than she often had, and Lexa wondered if maybe Raven had already managed to work her way past tolerance and onto something else. Beside her Echo snorted before she said, “Please Anya, you're loving this. If you weren't you would have scared her away by now. No one can stand up to you when you're actually pissed, not even Lexa.” It was true, Anya played at being annoyed often, but the second someone truly ticked her off it was all over. Lexa had only seen it happen a handful of times, and she was pretty sure the people who'd done it still probably had nightmares at night.  
  
The words were all the encouragement Raven needed to press her chin to Anya's shoulder lightly, fluttering her eyelashes jokingly at her. “Aww, see Anya, you're not fooling anyone so just admit it already; we'd be hot as hell together.” The other girl shrugged her shoulder roughly, pushing her off, while she glared murder at Echo. “You better hope Indra doesn't pair us together at practice any time soon,” she muttered, the quiet threat clear, but the Azgeda transfer didn't look scared in the slightest. "I don't know,” she just said, “I could use a good workout.”  
  
“Raven, leave her alone!” they heard someone shout, and all looked over to the side to see Monroe, Harper, Monty and Jasper sitting down two rows and a few feet away. Monroe was the one who'd spoken, her hands cupped around her mouth, and she continued, “She might actually kill you and we still need her on the team! Get back here!”  
  
The brunette let out a dramatic sigh. “Sounds like my people need me,” she said, standing back up. Looking back at Anya, she smirked again and added, “But if any of you need me too, all you need to do is holler and I'll be here. See ya.” With another flash of her smirk she headed back to her friends, Monroe and Jasper both jeering at her lightly as she tilted her head back up, obviously still proud of herself for something.  
  
“Annoying,” Anya muttered, watching her go, but Lexa noticed that even once Raven sat back down with her friends she didn't look away. She must have noticed her grin from the corner of her eyes, because then they narrowed and she turned back to the brunette. “What?” she demanded and Lexa shrugged. “Nothing,” she said, knowing it would be safer not to say what she was thinking. Her best friend continued to give her a look as though she knew it anyway, but before she could do or say anything erupting applause broke out around them, and both turned back towards the field.  
  
The Polis Warriors ran out onto the grass to their bench, some holding their helmets up over their heads, clearing trying to egg on the crowd, others looking like they were already focused on the game ahead. Only a moment later and the other team emerged as well, and though there weren't quite as many fans there for them, the applause were nearly as deafening.  
  
Lining the field near the home team's bench, the cheerleaders were already out and making noise for their team, some waving pompoms while others just clapped along with the crowd. Lexa looked over to them, finding her brother near one end of the line cheering just as loudly as his teammates. Eyes skimming over each of them, she stopped at the exact opposite end, finding Clarke standing by the bench and talking with Octavia. Her eyes widened when she saw the female football player and then her lips quirked up in a smile; apparently their war paint at the tournament a couple of weeks ago had inspired the other girl, as she wore her own now. She'd smeared black paint around her eyes as more than just the little lines Lexa saw on many of the other players, and even from here it looked intimidating. Lincoln moved up behind her, laying a hand on her padded shoulder, and Lexa's grin widened a little when she noticed he was also wearing their war paint.  
  
“Is that your paint?” she asked Anya, not even looking away from the field, and felt her best friend shrug. “They are Warriors too, even if they aren't our warriors.” She looked down at the two with pride, and Lexa had a feeling that Octavia had managed to somehow impress her boyfriend's sister. Between her and Raven, Lexa was pretty sure the other girl was going soft. Now if only she could somehow get her to ease up on Clarke, everything would potentially be perfect.  
  
As though the blonde could hear her thinking about her, she glanced up, skimming over the crowd as if she were searching for someone. She somehow managed to find Lexa in the middle of it all and stopped, and the brunette's stomach flip-flopped for some reason as she saw the blonde suddenly smile. Without thinking about it she waved, just a little motion, and then Clarke was waving back, the motion equally as small. Despite the fact they were both surrounded by people it felt private, almost intimate, and it made Lexa's heart skip a beat. The next second one of the cheerleaders pulled the blonde's attention away and it was over, but even so Lexa had a hard time looking away from the other girl.  
  
Players from both teams ran out onto the field, getting into their lines, and the game began. Lexa did her best to pay attention, understanding at least some of what was going on, but a lot of it went over her head. Up until Aden's sudden decision to become a cheerleader she'd never needed to go to any of the games and had only ever done so when Anya dragged her along. Now she watched, able to identify fumbles and various positions, but missing a lot of the why of the plays. Rather than question it, she decided to just sit back and try to enjoy, even if she spent more of her time glancing over at the cheerleaders than she did watching the actual game.  
  
“Quit staring, it's creepy,” Anya told her suddenly, and Lexa tore her focus from Clarke to glance over at her best friend. “What?” she asked at the look she was getting, and the other girl just rolled her eyes. “If you don't know I'm not going to be the one to tell you,” she growled, turning her attention back to the game, and true to her word she didn't say anything else about it even as Lexa tried to question her. Finally she gave up and looked back down towards the field, managing to watch the game for exactly forty seconds before her eyes flickered back over to the line of cheerleaders.  
  
The first two quarters of the game went well for the Warriors. After only about ten minutes in the first quarter the Blakes got their team their first touchdown, Bellamy managing to wind the ball down to his sister who caught it just about at the ten yard line and ran it the rest of the way. Right up at the end of the quarter it wasn't looking good, Azgeda having managed to get the ball down almost to the opposite ten yard line, but during a misguided throw Nathan Miller caught the ball, intercepting it and running back almost twenty yards before he was stopped. Halfway through the second quarter Octavia made the team's second touchdown, running for nearly fifteen yards with the ball and nobody even close to stopping her. As the quarter ended and the two teams made their way off the field for halftime, even Lexa could tell they were in good spirits.  
  
They weren't the only ones. Almost the second the game stopped the crowd erupted into movement, many taking the opportunity to get up and stretch while others simply turned to their neighbors to exclaim about the game so far. Lexa shifted closer to Anya as the person on her other side began waving his hands in the air, passionately going over the plays so far with his friends, and the dirty blonde glared at him.  
  
“Alright, I'm getting out of here,” she stated, standing up and letting the blanket fall off her lap. “I'll be back before the game starts again. You want to come?” Lexa shook her head, looking back down at the field where the cheerleaders were still gathered by the Warriors' bench. “The halftime show will be starting soon. I have to watch Aden.”  
  
“Aden, right,” Anya repeated, something in her tone making the brunette frown. “Alright, well I'll be back soon.” With that she left, heading down the bleachers before she disappeared in the crowd of people also trying to stretch their legs while they had the chance.  
  
For a couple of minutes Lexa and Echo talked, both only half paying attention to the conversation as countless people moved around them, and then Lexa's entire focus tuned in on the field. The cheerleaders made their way out to the middle of the grass, most practically bouncing as they tried to get the audience hyped back up. Aden followed in the back, grinning along with the rest of them, but it wasn't her brother her focus fell on. At the front of them all walked Clarke with her hands already positioned at her hips, far more calmly than the rest of them, and unlike everyone else she didn't wear any silly grin. She held her head high, her shoulders straight and strong, and something about the way she walked stole Lexa's breath away. Even in the green and black skirt the girls all wore, she looked like a general leading her troops into battle. The rest of the squad all flocked around her, taking up what were clearly pre-established positions, but Clarke didn't look back at them, as though she just knew they would fall in line as they were supposed to. Instead she stared out at the crowd and Lexa wondered how anyone could possibly still be talking with the blonde staring them down. She herself had gone silent even though she was pretty sure she'd been in the middle of a sentence when they first started moving, and barely breathed as they started. Almost the second the final cheerleader stepped into place Clarke's lips curled up into almost a smug grin and they began.  
  
“Warriors ready?” she called out, her voice somehow easily sailing over the crowd. The rest of her squad stood up a little straighter at their leader's voice, and as one they all nodded and then they were moving, their arms snapping in perfect rhythm with every movement, legs kicking up at the perfect height and grins plastered easily across their faces. 

“Out on that field it's a battle zone  
Our team is strong and never alone.  
Bring your best our team's got more,  
Don't believe us? Just watch us score.  
Get smacked down, we get back up  
We are Warriors; we never stop!”

The cheer itself ended but their movements didn't, and then the team broke up into sections. Six people stepped down and formed two lines across from each other, one from each line running forward at the same time and springing into flips and cartwheels and moves Lexa couldn't name. One of them was Aden, and Lexa cheered as her brother did three round offs, one almost directly after the other. When he came to a stop along the opposite line she could see his grin all the way in the bleachers and didn't have to doubt it was genuine. She knew how hard he'd been working on getting that move down and just cheered louder for him.  
  
As the six stepped down, the rest of the squad moved back a bit, and when Lexa looked back over to them her eyes widened. While she'd been watching Aden Clarke had somehow ended up in the air, being held up by two of her teammates. She held her arms above her in a perfect V and then tucked them back into her body while those holding her up brought her down just a little. The next second they popped her right back up and when they did one of her legs came up with it and she was balancing on just the one foot, the two teammates holding her steady while another spotted from behind. Lexa's breath truly got caught then, momentarily stuck between horrified they might drop her and amazed at what she was doing, and didn't even blink again until Clarke was returned to the ground. The routine ended while she was still up there, both legs down once again and arms up, and as one the entire team shouted, “Warriors!” As the audience applauded her teammates tossed the blonde lightly up into the air, and Lexa's fingers clenched into tight fists until she was safely down once again, the others easily catching her.  
  
“Not a bad show,” Echo stated beside her, and Lexa finally blinked, her eyes a little dry after remaining open for so long. “Yeah,” she agreed, hoping her friend didn't notice the way her voice broke a little. She'd always thought she was better than the guys who waited around to watch the cheerleaders perform in their less-than-conservative uniforms, but as her teammates placed her back on the ground, Lexa couldn't quite miss just how much of Clarke's legs were on view in that skirt. The blonde had always been attractive, certainly, but had her legs always been so... amazing?  
  
Glancing up again, she found blue eyes already looking at her for some reason, and she felt herself blush a little at having been caught staring. Clarke's lips just curled up though, either not noticing or not caring, and Lexa felt her own lift to mirror the look. The rest of the cheerleaders disassembled, a few going back to the bench while others moved towards the crowd to find friends or family members, but the blonde just stood there for a second, staring up at Lexa. Her body moving on its own, the brunette stood up and dumped her blanket on the bleacher, probably tossing some excuse behind her to Echo but not even fully aware of what she'd said, and began making her way down towards the field. Clarke's smile grew and she took a few quick steps forwards as well, clearly planning to meet her. Just as Lexa was stepping down from the bleachers however, one of the other cheerleaders cut off the blonde's path, breaking her attention away. Lexa saw Clarke glance over the girl's shoulder, smile dropping a little at having been interrupted, but then made herself turn to her friend. She nodded to whatever the other girl was saying and then together they turned around and started back across the field. After only a few steps Lexa saw her glance back over her shoulder, just long enough to meet her gaze again. “Sorry,” she saw her mouth, and Lexa gave her a shrug and little smile, hoping her disappointment wasn't obvious. She would just have to try to find the other girl after the game to tell her how well she had done.  
  
“Lexa,” she heard, and turned to find herself near her father and the Griffins again. Tearing the last of her attention away from the field, she stepped over to them. Jake grinned as she made her way over, asking, “What do you think of the game so far?”  
  
“We seem to be doing well,” she answered, even though in all reality she'd barely watched more than a few minutes of the actual game. Nodding back towards the field, she added, “The routine was very good. Clarke is clearly a good captain.” She could have said more, but decided that congratulating them on having such an attractive daughter probably wasn't the right way to go. His grin grew as he told her, “Good leadership skills; she must take after her mother.”  
  
“And with her father's stubbornness, nothing will ever be able to stop her,” Abby agreed, flashing her husband a little smirk and Lexa tried not to do the same. A stubborn leader; yep, that was Clarke. The mother lifted her phone up then, using it to take a picture of her daughter now standing by the team's bench, and Lexa saw her father frown and begin patting his pockets. Rolling her eyes, she shook her head, the corners of her lips quirking up.  
  
“You forgot your phone, didn't you?” she asked him, and he looked at her sheepishly. She really didn't know why he'd bothered to get one when he always ended up forgetting it somewhere. “I think I left it in the car.”  
  
“I'll go get it,” she told him, wanting to stretch her legs a little anyway before the second half of the game started. He gave her a grateful smile and she took off, winding through the crowd of people making their way to and from the bleachers.  
  
In the parking lot that crowd greatly diminished, so she took her time as she made her way through the many cars packed tightly together. With nothing to look forward to but the rest of the game, she was in no rush to return to the bleachers. She meandered around the cars, not really thinking about anything, and then frowned when she saw a bit of movement coming from inside one of them. Glancing at it, she recognized the car immediately as Anya's, and made her way over to it. She doubted anyone would be trying to steal it since it wasn't exactly a beauty, but figured it was better to check anyway. Moving up beside the back passenger side door, she peered through the window, and her jaw dropped as soon as she realized what she was seeing.  
  
The car definitely wasn't being stolen, and she would cringe for the person who tried to take it in this moment. Anya and Raven were in the backseat and Raven was straddling the blonde's lap, her fingers tangled in Anya's hair. From what Lexa could see Anya's hands were just barely up the back of Raven's shirt, probably trying to pull her in closer, and their mouths moved harshly against one other. As she watched Raven tugged at her hair, tilting her head back a little, and the kiss deepened. Lexa didn't even realize she was staring, so caught up in her shock, until Anya's eyes slowly opened. They first looked at Raven, the brunette the obvious focal point of her attention, but then they glanced over to the window and caught Lexa's, and she watched as her best friend froze, going completely still. Raven pulled away a little, frowning at the sudden lack of response, and then looked over as well. Seeing the brunette, she smirked.  
  
“I knew I'd ware her down,” she just said, shooting Lexa a wink, and the other girl noticed Anya's eyes narrow as they turned back to the girl on her lap. Deciding it would probably be safer to be just about anywhere else at that moment, Lexa turned and hurried away, leaving the two behind to continue their make out session if Anya didn't murder Raven first. As she went however, Lexa felt her lips pull up a little, both amused and a little impressed.  
  
After getting her father's phone and returning it to him, she made her way back up to her spot in the bleachers, seeing Echo still sitting there, but she was no longer alone. Costia now sat with her, the two talking about something, and Lexa hesitated the moment she saw her, caught between continuing back up to her seat and turning around and trying to find somewhere to hide before she was spotted. Though they hadn't been actively avoiding each other over the past week, she had done her best to avoid eye contact whenever they happened to pass each other in the hallways. She'd only had the one major break down that first night with Clarke on the playground, but every now and then the pain from the break up would creep back up, filling her chest, and she'd have to fight to try to push it down. Anya helped during the day, finding ways to distract her between classes, and Clarke helped her at night, their walkie-talkies once again in constant use. She never had to ask or say anything; every night as though like clockwork the static from her walkie-talkie would start up, and a second later the blonde's voice would fill her room. Twice she'd fallen asleep in the middle of their conversations, and both times she'd gone to apologize the next day and Clarke had just smiled, shaking her head and telling her not to worry about it. Her best friends were getting her through, and suddenly she wished she had at least one of them with her to help her through this next conversation.  
  
Echo saw her first, something akin to guilt flashing across her face, and Costia turned around, following her gaze until she too caught sight of Lexa. The brunette made herself stand up a little straighter, head tilting up a little higher, and then continued on her way up the bleachers. Costia looked just about as awkward as she felt, but gave her a little smile.  
  
“Hi Lexa,” she said, shifting over a little closer to Echo as the brunette took her seat back, sitting on top of the blanket still bunched beside the other two. “Hi,” she replied, looking away and then back again. The awkwardness between them spread a little, likely obvious to everyone around them, and then Costia asked, “How have you been?”  
  
“Fine,” she answered, the reply mostly truthful. Forcing herself not to look away again, she asked, “What about you?”  
  
“Pretty good,” she said, giving a little nod. Lexa returned it and then the conversation fell again, neither of them really knowing what to say to the other. Finally Costia stood up, looking between her and Echo and told them, “I should probably be getting back to my seat. See you both around.” She went to step down, but stopped herself and then looked over at Lexa again. “Oh, and tell Aden he did an awesome job for me, okay? Those round offs looked great.” The brunette's heart fluttered a little and then clenched briefly, and she nodded as her lips curled up into an easier smile. “Yeah, I will. Thanks.” Costia flashed her a quick grin and then she was moving away, and Lexa couldn't help but watch her as she went.  
  
“Sorry about that,” Echo said after she'd gone. She still looked guilty, as though she'd been caught doing something wrong, and Lexa shook her head. “Don't be,” she replied, “You're friends; just because we broke up doesn't mean you guys have to.” The other girl grinned at her and Lexa returned it, and then they returned their attention back to the field as the two teams came storming back out. Just as they were lining up to get the game started again, Anya came stomping up the bleachers and sat heavily between them, not meeting Lexa's eyes and ignoring her smirk.  
  
“Shut up,” she muttered, staring straight ahead. “And you tell anyone and I'll kill you.”  
  
“Tell anyone what?” Echo wanted to know, looking over at the dirty blonde, and Lexa tried to fight back her grin. “I may or may not have witnessed Anya in the back of her car with someone,” she answered as nonchalantly as she could. “Luckily still with their clothes on, though if I hadn't interrupted when I did that might not have been the case.”  
  
“I'm not going to have sex in the back of my car in a crowded parking lot,” Anya growled, glaring over at her. “Especially not during the biggest football game of the year.”  
  
“Okay, but that's not really the important information here,” Echo told her, looking from her over to Lexa as she lifted an eyebrow. “The important information is who else was in the car?” Anya's jaw clenched and Lexa's lips twitched before she glanced down the bleachers, finding Raven just sitting down among her friends. “Oh look, Raven's back,” she stated, trying to sound only mildly interested, and as she'd hoped Echo immediately picked up on the clue. Her eyes widened, absolute glee sparking in them, and then she leaned back with a happy sigh. “This is possibly the best thing to happen to me all week,” she decided, glancing up and then over to the grumpy blonde between them. “So Anya, what was that you were saying two days ago about how you wouldn't make out with Raven if she was the last female left on the planet?”  
  
“Fuck off,” she mumbled, and then when the two just continued to smirk at her she rolled her eyes. “She's a good kisser, okay? That's it. It's not like I actually like her. She's just a little bit of entertainment until someone else comes along.”  
  
“Of course,” Lexa replied, nodding solemnly. “Whatever you say, Anya.” Her best friend shot a glare at them as Echo let out a laugh, and then crossed her arms as she turned back towards the game.  
  
The third quarter did not go as well for the Warriors as the first two. Barely five minutes into it the Giants got the ball and barreled down the field, taking it twenty yards in one play and then the very next one they closed the rest of the distance, getting their first touchdown. The Warriors held on to the ball for a few minutes after that, but then Azgeda got it again and before anyone could do anything about it they got another. With every point they scored Lexa could feel the crowd around her getting more intense, nearly everyone on their feet and waving their arms as though it would change anything. She was forced to stand as well if she wanted to see anything, and watched as it all just continued to go downhill from there. In the fourth quarter Octavia once again had the ball, looking like she might score, but then she went down, two big guys tackling her at once. Lexa watched with everyone else, eyes wide and worry gnawing at her gut, but as the refs blew their whistles the other girl managed to pull herself up and Lexa could practically see the way she glared at them as she limped slightly off the field. A few minutes later and she was back out there, apparently unharmed, and the entire crowd cheered for her, Lexa cheering right along with them.  
  
Aside from a very impressive tackle by Lincoln that caused the other team to fumble the ball and prevent another almost touchdown, after Octavia's take down nothing in the fourth quarter seemed to go right for the Warriors. They held their own for the most part but just couldn't get the momentum back up they'd had in the first half of the game, and even Lexa could see them losing steam. Bellamy tried to keep them all focused, shouting out his orders and trying to keep up morale, but it wasn't any use. With three minutes left in the game Azgeda got another touchdown and then a field goal to top it off, and that was it. As hard as they tried, the Warriors just couldn't bring it back after that and when the horn sounded to signal the end of the game, it was the Giants jumping up and down and crashing into each other in frenzied excitement. The Polis players stood where they were for a second, probably trying to figure out what had gone wrong, and the crowd around Lexa all grumbled, sighing over the loss.  
  
“Well that really sucks,” Anya stated, looking down at the field as the players all began to trudge back towards the locker room. “Overall it was a good game though,” Echo said, stretching her arms over her head as people began to move around them. The blonde looked over at her, telling her drily, “I don't think they'll see it like that.” Lexa didn't say anything, knowing they were both right, and then led the way down the bleachers, the other two following along behind her. Once on the grass again, they moved out of the way as more people continued along with the mass exit from the stands, and when Lexa noticed a little group standing over to the side she smirked a little, leading the way over to them. She could feel Anya glaring at the back of her head as she moved but ignored it.  
  
“Bellamy's gonna be pissed,” she heard Monroe say as they got closer, and the others in the small group all agreed. Looking past those around him, Monty noticed the three approaching and nodded. “Hey,” he said, his friends all turning to see who he was talking to, and when she saw them Raven began to smirk slightly.  
  
“That is not how we wanted that game to go,” Harper stated, and Echo shrugged. “Azgeda's good, they've always been good. It was never going to be an easy win.”  
  
“No, but it would have made me happy, seeing them get their asses handed to them,” Monroe replied. “Especially Roan.”  
  
“That's Ontari's brother, yeah?” Anya asked, and Echo nodded. “Alright then yeah, it would have been really nice to kick his ass.” The rest of the group echoed the sentiment, Lexa nodding right along with them.  
  
The conversation continued, Monroe, Harper, Echo and Jasper going over different moments of the game and the others mostly just listened, only now and then adding their own thoughts. Lexa barely paid any attention to it, more focused on the way Anya and Raven kept sharing glances when they thought no one was watching, Raven smirking and Anya trying to glare but not quite being able to. She couldn't tell if Raven's friends knew what had happened in Anya's car, but if they did they weren't talking about it so she decided to keep her thoughts to herself, though she did look forward to talking to Clarke later that night and telling her what she'd seen. Every now and then Raven would jump back into the conversation, clearly paying more attention to it than Lexa thought, and whenever she did Anya made sure to return to her usual stoic expression, as though she could care less about any of them.  
  
While their group continued to talk, Lexa looked around, finding the bleachers now almost empty, only a few stragglers sitting or standing here or there. More people stood on the grass like them, probably waiting for one of the football players or cheerleaders to come out of the locker rooms, and when she looked over she found her father still with the Griffins doing the same. She noticed Jake's arm over his wife's shoulder, leaning a little more heavily against her than he probably meant to be, but despite his evident fatigue he still grinned, clearly in the middle of telling her father some story. Her father laughed, the sound deep, and she smiled, glad to see him so happy; she was definitely going to have to make sure he got out more and made more visits to the Griffins.  
  
Abby shifted and Lexa's focus pulled down to the blanket tucked beneath her arm, suddenly realizing she didn't have her own. Looking back up at the bleachers she saw it, a crumpled ball still where she'd left it earlier, and sighed as she turned around fully, making her way back up the wide steps. She went straight for the blanket, shaking it out once she'd reached it, but rather than head back down to the field she sat. They wouldn't be leaving until Aden finished changing out of his uniform anyway, and now that there were fewer people in the bleachers than on the field she didn't mind it as much. The space was nice after being crowded for so long, so she draped the blanket back over her legs and relaxed. For a few minutes she watched the people below her, looking back and forth between her friends and Clarke's and their parents, but eventually her head tilted up, eyes drawn to the stars as always. The sky was completely clear, not a cloud to be seen anywhere, and the moon shone nearly full. She wished someone would turn the stadium lights off so she could see the stars better, but even with the lights on she couldn't even begin to count them. Her lips curled up a little, entirely at ease, and she just stared contentedly above her.  
  
“Hey Clarke,” she heard Jasper call out down on the grass, and the blonde's name finally managed to tear her gaze away from the sky. Glancing down she saw the other girl heading towards the bleachers still in her uniform, but rather than go over to her friends she just continued forward, quickly climbing up the steps. Lexa's smile grew as she made her way over, and then Clarke was standing right in front of her one row down.  
  
“Congratulations,” she said giving the blonde a nod, “Your team did very well tonight.” Clarke didn't say anything, her eyes scanning the brunette's face, some look in them Lexa couldn't quite read, and she frowned. “Clarke? What is it?”  
  
“I think,” the other girl began and then her voice cut off. She licked her lips and Lexa's brow furrowed further, realizing she was nervous about something. “I think maybe Costia was right.” Lexa's breath caught in her chest, uncertainty flooding through her, and she felt her heartbeat pick up. “You... what?”  
  
Rather than answer, Clarke leaned forward, and the next thing Lexa knew soft lips were pressing up against her own. The shock lasted for less than a second, her brain short-circuiting, and then at the very back of her mind she could have sworn she heard the softest of voices sighing a simple, _Oh_. All at once something inside her shifted as though it were only now settling into place, and her eyes closed, a silent breath escaping her parted lips. The next instant she was kissing Clarke back, her hands moving to the blonde's face on their own accord, and it was as if that something inside her had been waiting her entire life for this exact moment.  
  
Kissing Costia had always been fun; she'd enjoyed every second of it and always looked forward to the next time she would get an opportunity to do so again.  
  
Kissing Clarke was a whole other thing altogether. Kissing Clarke felt exhilarating and calming all at once, her heartbeat racing at that first point of contact but then immediately slowing down, as though it were afraid of drawing her focus away from those delicate lips. Kissing Clarke made her mouth tingle, every nerve-ending along her lips lighting up in a blaze she didn't know how to process. Her entire body fell into the kiss without her needing to move, and she'd never known she could be so hyper-aware of something before. Ever since they were children Lexa had known Clarke was her world and it was only in this moment she truly understood just how true that was. Kissing Clarke felt wonderful and terrifying and like nothing she'd ever felt before, but more than anything kissing Clarke felt like home.  
  
What was likely only a moment later but to Lexa felt like a millennium the blonde pulled back a little, and she had to fight with her eyelids to force them open again. The second they did all Lexa could see was Clarke, blonde hair tumbling over her bare shoulders and blue eyes scanning her own, and the brunette was at least a little relieved to see a rosy hue along her cheeks. At least now she knew she wasn't the only one blushing. The tip of her tongue darted out, wetting lips that had apparently gone dry, and Lexa's eyes followed it, more drawn to those lips now than she could remember ever being drawn to anything before in her life.  
  
“Lexa?” the other girl asked, her voice a little rough, as though she too could barely believe what was happening. She tore her focus from her lips, glancing back up to meet those eyes and nearly drowned in them, heart missing multiple beats when she saw the look in them.  
  
“I thought,” she began, needing to stop so she could swallow and get her thoughts straight. Desperately trying to focus, she shook her head a little and then felt her brow furrow slightly as she looked back towards those eyes. “You, um... and Finn? I thought you two...”  
  
“I broke up with him,” she answered, clearly understanding what she was trying to say. One corner of her mouth curled up into a little smile as she added, “I'm not the kind of person who stays with someone when I want to be with someone else.” The words had to work through a thick fog clouding Lexa's mind, but finally they registered and she looked back up at Clarke, glancing up at her through her eyelashes.  
  
“You want... with me?” she asked, and felt a little like hitting herself. Apparently kissing Clarke, in all its absolute wonder, had also removed any ability she had once had of completing a sentence, but the blonde's smile simply grew, now tugging at both corners of her mouth.  
  
“You, Lexa,” she replied, leaning forward a little, her hands lightly resting on the brunette's knees, and even through the blanket and her pants Lexa's skin tingled at the touch. “I think I've always wanted to be with you. I think I've always known it's supposed to be you and me, I just never really _knew_ , you know? But ever since last week at the playground and what Costia said I just...” It was her turn to not quite finish a sentence, trailing off a little, and Lexa's heart jumped in her chest, needing to know the rest. Clarke looked away for a second, almost as though she were suddenly shy, and shook her head. “I can't stop thinking about you, Lexa,” she murmured, looking back at the brunette. “I thought you were just my best friend, but I don't think that's true anymore. I don't think it was ever true. I think you're... more. Everything.” One of her hands moved, finding Lexa's, and her pinky curled around the brunette's. It was her turn to look up through her eyelashes, this time not looking away from the other girl's eyes as she continued softly, “I think you're my everything, Lexa. I think you always have been.”  
  
“I think... You're my everything too, Clarke.” She hadn't known it until that moment. Unlike the blonde, she hadn't seen it a week ago when Costia told her, hadn't seen it any of the days since or before, but suddenly she saw it. She could see it now as she thought back to every memory she had of the other girl, could see how the two of them had always just fit, always just been the other's missing piece. She thought of how lost she'd been when Clarke pulled away and how she'd finally started breathing again only weeks ago when they came back together, and she wondered how she had never seen it before. Now with Clarke looking at her like that and her lips still tingling from their kiss – not the first and what she knew with a certainty she couldn't describe wouldn't be their last – she knew with every fiber of her being that Clarke meant just as much to her as she meant to Clarke and that they both truly belonged to each other in a way no one else ever could.  
  
At her words, Clarke's lips slowly began curling up, as though she couldn't entirely believe she'd just heard them. “Yeah?” she just said, a smattering of hope in her voice. Beneath that hope Lexa could hear something else, some kind of hesitancy, almost like she were giving the brunette a chance to take it all back, to get out of this now before they went any further. Lexa had absolutely no desire to go back, only the desire to go forward and see where this would take them, and to prove it she reached out, lightly cupping Clarke's face again and closing the distance between them. This kiss felt just as indescribable as the last except this time she felt the blonde sigh into it, could sense it as blue eyes fell closed even though hers had done so even a second before the contact had been made. The sigh pushed at something inside her and then she was deepening the kiss, drinking the other girl in to the fullest extent of her abilities, and Clarke eagerly fell into it. She felt the other girl step up, trying to get closer, and at the same time Lexa pulled her closer as Clarke pushed forward.  
  
The combined excitement had more of an impact than either meant. One moment Lexa was sitting on the bleacher, Clarke basically bent over her and their mouths pressed firmly together, and then her butt slipped back, her entire body falling with it. She fell down between where she'd been sitting and the row behind her, her body practically folded up on itself with the crook of her knees pressed against the edge of what had been her seat, and Clarke all but fell on top of her, their combined force pulling her right along with her. The blonde's arm darted out quickly to try to catch herself but even so a good portion of her weight ended up on top of Lexa, and their eyes flew open.  
  
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Clarke exclaimed, eyes wide as she looked at the brunette folded up beneath her. Lexa looked around her, her knees nearly touching her chest and head pressing against the row behind her with Clarke scrambling to get off her, and to her own surprise she just grinned.  
  
“I will be in a second,” she replied and then reached up, lightly grabbing the side of Clarke's cheering uniform and giving it a light tug. Before the blonde could pull any farther away she was kissing her again, one hand cradling the back of her head, and after a moment she felt Clarke sink into it, apparently too distracted by Lexa's lips to worry about anything else.  
  
And neither of them did. Despite the fact they were on the bleachers at their high school after the biggest football game of the year and there was no doubt all kinds of trash Lexa was likely sitting on; despite the fact that their friends and families were all down on the field below, probably watching this all unfold; and despite the fact that they'd only just realized exactly what they meant to each other after almost seventeen years of friendship, neither of them could find it in themselves to worry about anything. The only thing either of them had any desire to do was kiss this other girl, so that's exactly what they did.


	7. Chapter 7

Epilogue

_Five and a Half Years Later_

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, the tassel of Lexa's graduation cap fell in her face, her eyes crossing a little as she looked at it. Getting the cap itself to stay on her head had been enough of a hassle to the point where she didn't even want to think about how many bobby pins she had digging into her scalp to try to keep it on, and she was losing her patience with this stupid tassel. She reached up, pulling it back over to the side of her face, and then looked forward again, giving her father a look.  
  
“I think you have enough pictures, Dad,” she stated drily, glancing down at the phone he held up. “For once you've hardly put your phone down all day.” He grinned, finally putting the phone down, but before she could run away Abby stepped up behind him. “I don't think we've gotten any pictures of the Woods family together,” she said, sharing a little grin with Gustus, and Lexa actually sighed out loud but felt the corners of her mouth twitch as her father moved towards her. He looked over to where Aden sat at one of the picnic tables set up between their houses and called out, “Aden, come on.”  
  
“Another one?” he groaned but got up, leaving his boyfriend Matt behind with a full plate of food and smirk on his face as the three Woods's gathered together. The moment he was next to her Lexa leaned over and nudged him, muttering, “You're not the one who's had to stand still for all of these.” He nudged her right back and it probably would have dissolved into a war if her father hadn't stepped between them. “Just smile you two,” he told them and they did as they were told, looking at Abby holding up her phone in front of them. They held the pose for a few long seconds and then she flashed a grin at them. “Alright, got it.” Aden ditched the moment he could, making his way back to the picnic table, and Lexa rolled her eyes at him. Her focus shifted however when her father's arm moved around her shoulders.  
  
“It's hard to believe you are leaving,” he said, giving her a look while one corner of his mouth pulled up into a half grin. “Seems like just yesterday you and Clarke were chasing each other around this yard playing tag.”  
  
“I bet the last time they chased each other it wasn't to play tag,” she heard Raven snicker from one of the nearby tables. Years ago the comment would have made her blush or at least nearly blush, but now she managed to keep a straight face, lifting an eyebrow at the other girl. “You're right, it wasn't,” she replied easily, a smirk ghosting across her lips. Looking back at her father who was shaking his head, she added, “And we aren't leaving forever, only for a few years. Once I finish with law school we plan to move back to the area.”  
  
Abby moved over closer to them, her arm wrapping loosely around Lexa's waist. “You'll be back, but that doesn't mean we won't miss you. A fifteen hour car ride is much longer than the two hour drive it took to visit you two at college.” Lexa gave a little shrug, a familiar bit of guilt briefly rolling in her gut. She knew Clarke had said over and over she didn't mind moving so far away from their family and friends for the years it would take for her to finish her education, but that didn't mean Lexa didn't wish they didn't have to or stop her from feeling bad for uprooting the blonde's life like that. “We will visit,” she just said, trying to sound more sure of it all than she really was. Despite her excitement about going to grad school she would be lying if she said she wasn't also nervous about it all. The only thing that had kept her from having a complete melt down during the week leading up to their college graduation had been Clarke, the blonde always right there to grab her hand whenever things began to feel a little too overwhelming.  
  
“Of course, and we'll visit you,” Abby agreed, giving her waist a little squeeze. Her father nodded his agreement, saying, “Absolutely.” She gave them both a little smile, partially wishing there were some way she could bring them with her, but knew there wasn't.  
  
“Got that right,” Raven agreed from her spot at the table, apparently still listening in on their conversation. “What would we all do without our monthly dose of Clexa?” Bellamy, Monty, Jasper and Lincoln, all sitting at the same table as her and all decked out in their own cap and gowns in a sea of various colors, grinned, many of them nodding. The nickname had become popular barely the week after she and Clarke had started dating way back in junior year of high school, and no matter how many times it made her roll her eyes it had stuck. Now she almost liked it, maybe did like it a little more than she would ever admit to, because it was just one more way in which she was forever entwined with the blonde.  
  
“I don't know that we will necessarily be able to visit monthly,” she stated, pulling away from her father and Abby and moving over towards the table. Giving Raven a look, she added, “Maybe every other month.”  
  
“Only six visits in a year?” the other girl demanded, shaking her head. “Unacceptable. You're new apartment better have a few extra bedrooms so we can come to you. In fact, we might just move in, so I hope you got a big place.”  
  
Bellamy snorted across from her, smirking. “Clarke and Anya living together? Yeah, good luck with that. That'll go over well. I'm happy to start taking bets on how long that would last and who would end up killing who first.”  
  
“My money's on Anya getting Clarke,” Jasper piped up, leaning forward over his plate. “And I don't think it would take long to push her over the edge.”  
  
“No way,” Monty disagreed, shaking his head. “Clarke would get Anya. Anya has the outward terror thing going, but I bet Clarke would be pretty scrappy in a fight.”  
  
“Due to family obligations, I think I would have to bet on Anya's side,” Lincoln decided, folding her arms easily in front of him. “But I do think Clarke would give her a run for her money.” Bellamy grinned, apparently agreeing with that thought, and then gave Lexa a look. “What about you Lexa? Who would you bet on?”  
  
“For my own safety, I am going to stay out of this one,” she replied, taking a seat between Raven and Monty as they shifted over to make room for her. “There is no answer I can give that would not get me in trouble.”  
  
“Ditto,” Raven agreed, and then she smirked. “It would be one hell of a match though.” The others all agreed and then began trying to decide just how long it would take for that break down to happen, and Lexa shook her head, lips curling up a little as the debate became more and more heated, everyone sure they were right.  
  
As Jasper was trying to explain why it would take exactly seventeen days before Anya broke down and began planning out Clarke's murder, complete with hand gestures and everything, the very same dirty blonde walked out of Lexa's house, scanning the yard until she caught sight of the brunette. Moving over to the table, she nodded back towards the house, telling her, “Lexa, your girlfriend's looking for you.” Before Lexa could say anything, Raven smirked, reaching out and grabbing Anya's hand. “Have I ever told you how wonderfully sexy you look in that gown? Because really, the only thing that could make it sexier would be if you weren't wearing anything underneath it.” Anya ticked an eyebrow at her, completely straight face. “Who said I am?” Raven's smirk instantly wiped away, glancing over her quickly. “Wait, what? Are you not? Because I am seriously wasting my time with these people if you are naked beneath your graduation robe.”  
  
“Before you start unzipping it to see if she's telling the truth or not, I'm gonna go,” Lexa stated, standing back up. Raven didn't even look at her, too focused on trying to see through Anya's black robe to determine what was underneath it, and she shook her head. Glancing back to her best friend she asked, “Where's Clarke?”  
  
“She wants you to meet her up in your room,” she answered, and the guys all around the table _ooo_ -ed. Anya didn't, still entirely deadpan as she added, “And if she does want to meet you for what they think, keep it down. I'm right outside and I do not want to hear that.”  
  
“I doubt Clarke wants to have sex with all of our family and friends right outside,” Lexa replied, feeling relatively sure about that but maybe not entirely. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Clarke; their sex life was certainly far from minimal, and it wasn't like they hadn't snuck away from gatherings before when one or the both of them decided they didn't want to wait anymore to get the other naked. Even so, this gathering was meant for them and the rest of their high school friends who had only recently graduated college, and she felt relatively confident that would make Clarke want to keep her hands to herself. Not that she would exactly complain if it didn't...  
  
Leaving the group behind, she headed towards the house, passing a number of others along the way. Abby and Jake had gone all out, inviting friends and coworkers to help celebrate their graduation and had told the other graduates to invite their own friends, so she now had to weave and wind through the crowd to make it into her own house. Once there she didn't stop but just bounded up the stairs, headed straight for her old bedroom.  
  
“Clarke?” she called as she opened the door, but then frowned when she didn't see the blonde. Her room was exactly as she'd left it hours before when she dumped her bags from school on her bed, planning to rearrange her packing later to prepare for the big move coming up in just two weeks. As though she might have missed her, she scanned the room again, still not finding any trace of the blonde, and frowned.  
  
_Lexa? You there?_  
  
A familiar static surrounded the muffled words, breaking through the silence of the room, and Lexa's brow furrowed, completely and utterly confused. She moved over to her bed, grabbing at one of the bags and opened it, rummaging around beneath a few shirts before she found the walkie-talkie. Even though she'd taken it to college it had been more for sentimental value since she'd been living with the blonde for the past three years and basically lived with her the year before, so it felt almost strange to be holding it again. _Lex? You there?_  
  
“Yeah Clarke, I'm here,” she spoke into the device, pressing on the call button. “Why are you using the walkies? Where are you?”  
  
_I've got a surprise for you, but you're going to have to find me to get it_ , came the answer, and Lexa's brow furrowed even further. “What? Why? Clarke, what's going on?”  
  
_I told you, it's a surprise_ , she replied, and the brunette could hear the grin in her voice. _Find me and you'll understand._  
  
Lexa rubbed at her forehead, shaking her head, but even so she felt the corners of her mouth begin to curl up. Leave it to Clarke to drag her into some silly game without even having to try. “Okay, how do I find you?”  
  
_There's a note on your desk_ , she replied almost immediately. _Figure out the clue to find me._ Letting out a sigh and still shaking her head, she moved over to her desk and as promised, found a note card laying against its top. Picking it up, she found a small yellow dot in one corner, and then flipped it over. There she found a message scrawled in handwriting she would know anywhere as Clarke's.  
  
**_Boys are gross, girls are pretty, and this is where we knew we'd be together forever._**  
  
“Clarke, that could be anywhere,” she complained, speaking into the walkie-talkie. “We've always known we would be together forever.” Static came out of the device for a second, and then she heard, _Think about it, Lexa. Where was the first place we knew it?_ “In the backyard?” Lexa questioned, figuring that made as much sense as anything since she'd known they would be together forever since the day they met. “Are you trying to tell me you're in the backyard, because I was just there.”  
  
_Not the yard_ , came Clarke's voice, and then, _Do you want a clue?_ The brunette sighed, wondering what she was getting herself into, and then nodded. “Sure, what's the clue?” There was a little pause of silence, and then she heard, _I'm always higher than you._  
  
At that Lexa grinned, immediately knowing.  
  
“You do not always go higher, only when I let you,” she informed her, already turning around and beginning to make her way out of her room. “Hold on, I'll be there in a few minutes.”  
  
Leaving the party was easier than she expected it to be. Everyone was busy talking or laughing or just generally distracted, so no one stopped her to ask where she was going as she began nearly jogging down the road. She could have grabbed her car keys but figured that would only draw more attention to herself, so she just left, heading down to the elementary school playground. As she went she had to practically hold her cap on her head, the bobby pins she'd attached it with apparently not ready for any kind of fast moving, but other than that she ignored her graduation get up.  
  
Sneaking through the gate, Lexa frowned. She could see someone sitting at the swing set, but it wasn't the person she'd been expecting. Octavia just grinned as she hesitantly made her way over, looking far too smug.  
  
“Um, hi?” Lexa said, the statement sounding more like a question. Glancing around, she asked, “Where's Clarke? I thought she was here.” Rather than say anything, the other girl just reached out, handing her another note card. She took it and frowned, shaking her head. “I don't get it. What's going on?”  
  
“Use the walkie-talkie,” Octavia told her, nodding towards her hand, and Lexa looked down, a little surprised to find herself still holding it. She lifted it up to her mouth and pressed the call button, but said, “Why? The signal won't reach this far away.”  
  
_I had Raven mess with them._ Clarke's voice came out of the device almost immediately, and Lexa jumped, not expecting it. Holding it back up, she asked, “Clarke, seriously, what's going on?” _Have you read the next clue yet?_ she asked, and the brunette rolled her eyes as Octavia continued to grin at her. Finding another dot in one corner of the card, this one green, she turned it around.  
  
**_When everything hurts I'm there to hold you; through the good and the bad I'm by your side and you're by mine._**  
  
“Okay, I've read it, now what?” Lexa wanted to know, a little annoyed but mostly amused by this game. Clarke's cryptic response wasn't anymore helpful than she expected it to be. _You need to find me, Lexa. The clues will all lead you to where I am._ Octavia reached out, tossing a pair of keys up in the air and Lexa scrambled to catch them. “You'll need my car for this one.”  
  
Letting out a sigh, she shook her head, and then looked back at the card. If Clarke wanted to play this game then she would play. “When everything hurts, I'm there to hold you,” she murmured, reading it out loud to try to help process the clue. “Through the good and the bad I'm by your side... and you're by mine...” Glancing at the keys, she lifted them up, figuring they were just as much a clue as the note card. “When everything hurts...”  
  
All at once it clicked, and Lexa frowned, suddenly less sure about this than she'd been a moment ago. She looked up at Octavia and saw the sympathetic look on her face and knew she'd guessed right. For a second she debated going any farther, debated just telling Clarke she was done, but then she dismissed it. The blonde must have a reason for doing all this and she trusted Clarke; she wouldn't send her to this next place if it wasn't important. Giving Octavia another look she turned around, exiting the playground to find her car parked by the side of the road. She got in and took a deep breath and then she was off, still wondering what was going on but knowing the best way to find out would be to play along.  
  
When she got to the hospital, she was both surprised and not surprised at all to see Lincoln waiting out front for her. He nodded to her and handed her another note card, and she took it. “Clarke?” she said into the walkie-talkie, glancing past her friend, and a moment later she heard the blonde's voice again, this time softer, more serious than before.  
  
_I debated putting this in, but it's important, Lexa_ , she said, and the brunette could hear that importance somehow in her tone. _Losing your mom and what happened with my dad... We were there for each other, you know? You were there for me when you had no reason to be._  
  
“Of course I had a reason,” Lexa murmured, and as she spoke Lincoln slipped away, giving her a small smile as he did. She'd have to remember to thank him later for helping Clarke with whatever this was and knowing when she needed space at the same time. At the moment however all she could focus on was the blonde as she continued, “You're always my reason, Clarke. I love you.”  
  
_I love you too, Lexa_ , came the reply, still soft, and then her tone shifted a little, falling back into what it had been before the hospital stop. _Did Lincoln give you the next clue?_  
  
“Yeah, I got it,” she replied, looking down at this card, seeing a red dot on this one. Turning it over, she found: **_Secrets revealed, the truth is out; this night never had I ever wished for more._** She let out a laugh, instantly getting it, and then said into the walkie-talkie, “Your birthday party? Does that mean I need to go to Raven's house?”  
  
_If that's where you think the clue is leading you,_ Clarke answered, the tone of her voice telling Lexa she was right. She shook her head, still grinning, and then began making her way back to the car as she told her, “Whatever this is, you went all out didn't you?” There was a brief pause and then she heard, _Only the best your for you, baby._ She rolled her eyes at the nickname and then got back in Octavia's car, happy to leave the hospital and continue on her way.  
  
When she got to Raven's house she found a little sign on the front door and rolled her eyes. **_Lexa, get your ass in here!_** Entirely positive that wasn't Clarke's next clue, she made her way inside, not bothering to knock, and glanced around as she walked through the house. She had a pretty good idea where she needed to go, so wasn't at all surprised when she found Raven sitting out back on her picnic table, grinning happily at her.  
  
“It's about time!” she exclaimed, jumping up and strolling over to the other brunette. She clapped her on the back, telling her, “I've been waiting forever.” Lexa rolled her eyes and held out her hand, and a second later Raven smacked a note card down on her palm. As she did she gave the grinning brunette a look, asking her, “What will it take to bribe you into telling me what's going on?” Raven's grin grew and then she pretended to draw a line along her mouth, her lips sealed. “Sorry Lexa, that's not my job. I promised Clarke I would give you this and then go.” She winked, already heading back into her house, and called back, “Don't forget to lock back up before you leave!”  
  
As the other girl left her alone once again, she rolled her eyes. Lifting the walkie-talkie, she asked Clarke, “What did you do to convince Raven to keep this thing a secret? There's no way that was easy.” There was a longer pause than any before, and then she heard, _Trust me, it wasn't._ Just static for a moment, and then, _Got the next card?_  
  
“Got it,” she replied, and then flipped it over. The moment she read it, she rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth fighting to curl up. “Really Clarke? That's your clue?”  
  
_It's kind of amazing, right?_ she heard her say, and even before she finished Lexa was shaking her head, trying not to smile. **_An unhappy loss; a thrilling win. You've never been trashier_** was scrawled out along the card, and she told the blonde, “I was not trashy, I just happened to fall in someone's old plate of french fries. It isn't my fault someone left their garbage behind.”  
  
_Yeah_ , came the reply, _And you've never been trashier_. She rolled her eyes, muttering without pressing the call button, “Raven's right, you aren't funny.” Making her way back into thehouse, she did press the button as she continued, “I had ketchup on my butt all the way home from that game. Raven and Octavia wouldn't stop snickering and even Anya laughed at me.”  
  
_Do you regret it?_ Clarke asked, and she held in her sigh even though no one was around to hear it. No, she didn't regret it. Back in that moment she hadn't even been able to care about the ketchup smeared across the back of her pants, far too distracted by the feeling of Clarke's hand in hers and her lips still tingling from their kisses. “No,” she answered into the walkie-talkie. “Not at all.” A little pause as she made sure Raven's door was locked, and then: _Good. I don't either. Though I am still glad I didn't hurt you._  
  
“You didn't,” Lexa replied, making her way back to the car. “And even if you had, it would have been worth it. That was a very good kiss.”  
  
_Come find me and I'll give you another one_ , Clarke told her, and the words made her heartbeat pick up. Even after five and a half years of dating she still couldn't quite believe she was lucky enough to be able to kiss the blonde whenever she wanted.  
  
“Are there many more of these?” she wanted to know as she got back into the car. Glancing up, she realized it was beginning to get dark. “I've been gone for over an hour; I should probably be getting back to the party, Clarke.” _You're almost done, I promise_ , was the response she got, so she sighed, letting out a long breath. “Alright then,” she muttered to herself and started the car back up, heading off to the high school.  
  
Anya sat on the bleachers at the football field, and Lexa was more surprised to see her than any of the ones before her. How Clarke had managed to get her best friend to go along with whatever this was was a mystery to her, and one she hoped to soon solve. The dirty blonde glared at her as she approached, and then thrust a note card at her chest. “You owe me for this,” she just said as she got up. “And that girlfriend of yours owes me more.” Before Lexa could reply she stalked away, leaving the brunette alone, and she shook her head but then just looked at the card now in her hand. This one's dot was black, and when she turned it around she immediately began blushing.  
  
**_I'm your favorite because I'm topless, which leaves you with a great view._**  
  
“Clarke,” she admonished into the walkie-talkie, and when the blonde's voice came on she could hear her holding back her laughter. _What, it's true and you know it. Try telling me you don't love it when I'm not wearing a shirt._ She blushed harder and remained silent, unable to say that. There was a long pause before she heard static from the walkie again, and the amusement in the other girl's voice grew as she continued, _See? I knew it was true. But come on Lexa, it's another clue. Think. I'm your favorite because I'm topless, which leaves you with a great view. What am I?_  
  
Lexa thought about it, her forehead scrunching up as she tried to piece the clue together. This one didn't come to her as easily as some of the others, so she just stood there for a moment. The walkie-talkie stayed silent, Clarke apparently letting her work this one out on her own, and her frown deepened. She had to read the clue through three times before it finally clicked, the answer suddenly in front of her, and she grinned. As she turned around to head back to the parking lot, she said into the device, “You've been planning this awhile haven't you?”  
  
_Yep_ , Clarke replied and then asked, _You know where you're going?_  
  
“Yep,” Lexa echoed, giving a nod she knew no one could actually see. “I'll be there in a few minutes.” She heard a little bit of static and then, _Sounds good!_  
  
As Lexa drove away from the high school, she found herself still grinning. She still didn't entirely understand the purpose of this whole thing, but she at least understood the significance of the clues. Each had led her to a piece of her past with Clarke, a piece of their story, and going back over it all and remembering everything they'd been through made the back of her throat burn a little, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, too happy to let them fall, and instead focused on the way a very familiar warmth flooded from her chest through the rest of her body. Everything about Clarke and their relationship made her heart squeeze and pulse race and she couldn't help but hope it would stay that way forever. With the blonde by her side there was truly nothing she couldn't do; she felt limitless, and hoped that would never change.  
  
Pulling up along the side of the road by their houses, she left Octavia's car in one of the few open spots she could find and then got out, grabbing all five cards and the walkie-talkie to take with her. The crowd between and around their houses seemed to have diminished a little but there were still dozens of people scattered about, some eating, many talking, and more than a couple of them shifted their focus over to her as she tried to pass them. She shared their smiles, nodding quickly to them all, but didn't let any of them distract her from her objective. Whenever someone tried to start a real conversation she excused herself, and finally managed to make it to her girlfriend's backyard, the tree house they'd spent so many hours of their childhood in now just above her. Looking up at it, she smiled softly and then moved to the rope ladder. She had to bunch up her graduation gown and lost her cap during the climb up, the bobby pins finally having given up any hope of holding it to her head. Glancing down at it on the ground she debated whether or not to go back and get it, but then dismissed the idea and kept making her way up. It would be there when she climbed back down she figured, and if not she really didn't think she would miss it.  
  
The first thing Lexa noticed as she pulled herself up through the hole in the floor was the flickering light along the walls of the tree house. They'd never had much light in there, and certainly nothing more than a flashlight every now and then when they were really young, so the many candles now spaced out throughout the small room took her by surprise. Her eyes widened as she looked around, seeing them carefully laid out, tiny tables now set up in the corners and a slightly bigger one set up against one wall. The furniture made the space feel smaller and the candles made it almost homier, but after a second she no longer focused on them. Clarke stood almost in the center of the room, also still in her graduation gown though she somehow still had her cap on. Her eyes were already on Lexa, and the brunette's lips pulled into a soft smile as she caught the way the other girl was looking at her.  
  
“You found me,” she just said, giving Lexa a little grin, and the brunette's lips tugged up a little higher. “Of course,” she replied, standing up and letting her gown fall back around her feet. “I will always find you.” She stepped towards Clarke, wanting nothing more in this moment than to hold her, but the blonde stepped back, one corner of her mouth pulling up a little higher.  
  
“Nope,” she said, holding out a hand between them as though to hold Lexa back. “You're not done. You found me, but there's still one more thing you have to do.” The brunette sighed, shoulders slumping a little, and she pouted. “Clarke,” she tried, hoping to be able to break her girlfriend's resolve so she could just kiss her already, but the blonde shook her head. “Not gonna work, Lex. I didn't go through all this to let you ruin it in the last stage.” Lexa held her eyes for a second, trying to decide if she could argue her way into the other girl's arms, but then let out another long breath when she saw the look in her eyes. She could tell Clarke was going to be stubborn and not give in no matter what, so then it was her turn to shake her head.  
  
“Alright, what do I have to do now?” she asked, and Clarke gestured down to the cards in her hands. “There are five candles in this room with a piece of paper attached to them. You have to find them, put them in the right order, and then figure out the message. You can't look at the words until you think you've got it right. No more clues, no hints; it's all on you.” Lexa held her eyes for a second, entirely confused, but all she could read in them was amusement and maybe just a bit of nervousness. That just confused her more but then she shrugged, figuring it would all be made clear once she did as the blonde said.  
  
Scanning around the room again, this time she looked at the candles more carefully, and when she did she suddenly spotted one in the nearest corner with a piece of paper attached to it. She moved over and carefully grabbed it, setting it on the table along the wall as she assumed she was supposed to do, and then looked for the others. Three were easy to find, all placed out right in the open, while Clarke had hidden the other two behind other candles. Soon she had all five lined up on the table however, and was studying each one. The pieces of paper hung off of little strings, one tied to each candle, and it took her a second to realize each string was a different color. Taking out her note cards, she flipped them back over, immediately seeing how each dot matched one of the strings. Slowly she rearranged the candles in the order she'd gotten the clue, and soon had a line of yellow, green, red, blue and black strings. Feeling confident she had them all in the right order, she plucked each piece of paper from its string and laid them down in front of her with the blank side still facing her before she started back at the beginning and began flipping them over one at a time.  
  
**_Will_** the first piece of paper said, and she moved on to the next. **_You_** she found, and instantly her throat went dry, her heart beginning to race in her chest. **_Marry_** the third piece of paper had written on it, and her hand began to tremble before she fully realized it was happening. **_Me?_** the fourth said, and even though she'd been expecting it she let out a little gasp. The fifth remained a mystery, the question already out there, but even so she slowly turned it over.  
  
**_Turn around._**  
  
Letting out a wet laugh, Lexa did as she'd been told, and the second she did the tears were already falling down her cheeks. At some point while she'd been busy arranging the candles Clarke had shifted, and now she was kneeling, holding a small box between them. The brunette's eyes shifted to the box first and then to the blonde's face, and she found an small smile flashing at her.  
  
“I love you, Lexa,” Clarke told her, her voice quiet but the otherwise silence around them made it impossible to miss her words. “So much. More than anything, I love you. I know you've been feeling bad about asking me to move away so you can go to grad school, but you don't have to. I would go anywhere Lexa, anywhere, just as long as you were there too. You are my entire world, and the only thing that could make me happier than being with you is being married to you. I want to be with you forever, till death do us part and beyond that, because I can't even imagine living without you. So I'm asking: Lexa, will you marry me?”  
  
Lexa didn't have to think about the answer, but she did need to find a way to speak past the giant lump that had formed in her throat. As she tried to swallow, tried to find a way to get the single word she needed out, she reached forward, grabbing Clarke's arm and pulling her up. She barely glanced at the ring tucked safely away in the little box she still held, couldn't even begin to pry her eyes away from the blonde's, and she felt herself begin to nod.  
  
“Yes,” she finally managed to get out, the single word feeling too small to truly encompass just how much she wanted this. “Yes.” She repeated it, thinking that maybe a second time could make it better, but then her hands were on Clarke's face, fingers sliding up into her hair, and even the single word became hard to get out. Without warning she pressed forward, leaving what was likely to be a bruising kiss against the blonde's mouth, desperately hoping the action could reveal just how much Clarke's question meant to her and how much she absolutely felt the same way where the one little word had failed. She could feel herself trembling against her love and then realized that she wasn't the only one, that Clarke was trembling just as hard, and her grip in her hair tightened. “Yes,” she muttered against her lips, not able to bare the idea of pulling away even for the second it took to get the word out again. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” She repeated the word over and over, each time against Clarke's lips, and felt it as those lips curled up higher and higher and one of her hands moved to mirror the placement of her own, the other still holding the ring.  
  
“Yes?” Clarke said, questioning it as though Lexa's answer weren't already obvious, and a bubble of laughter escaped from the brunette's chest. “Yes,” she said again, finally managing to control herself to get out, “Yes Clarke, I'll marry you. Yes. I want us, this...” She shook her head, brain far too fuzzy from her surprise and absolute joy to really know how to tell her just how much she wanted it. “You, Clarke; I want you. Forever. Until death and after, I want you.”  
  
The blonde's face lit up with her words, and in the back of her mind Lexa tucked the information away, reminding herself she would need to say them every day for the rest of her life as long as they brought out that response. She wasn't entirely sure she'd ever seen Clarke's lips curl up into as dazzling a smile or her eyes glow with this level of excitement and pure joy before, and the look stole Lexa's breath away. A moment later and Clarke herself was doing that, crashing their lips together again and the brunette clung to her fiercely, entirely aware that this meant she would never have to let go. She'd just agreed to spend the rest of her life and after with the blonde, and her heart absolutely sang with that knowledge.  
  
“Hey!” they both suddenly heard, Raven's voice far closer than it should be, and they broke apart just enough to turn and look over towards the entrance to the tree house. The other girl's head stuck up through the opening, and she gave the two of them a look. “Don't you even think about starting in on your engagement sexcapades right now!” she demanded, and then she flashed them a wink. “Everyone's waiting to hear what the answer was.” She frowned then as a hand reached up, grabbing at her shirt. “Watch it!”  
  
“Get out of the way, Raven!” they heard Octavia say, and then her head popped up beside the other girl's. Looking up at the two still basically locked together, she grinned. “Looks like that's a yes. Nice job Clarke, very well done.”  
  
“Would you move?” Raven growled, managing to shift slightly on the rope ladder, “You're standing on my foot!”  
  
“Well if you would make some room...” Octavia told her, rolling her eyes. They both tried to move and even from where Clarke and Lexa stood they could see the ladder shifting unevenly, making it all wobble. The next second they heard Anya growl, “If you fall and break your ass I am not pampering you until it heals. You can fucking take care of yourself.” Raven looked back down the ladder, flashing her girlfriend a wounded look. “You wouldn't take care of me? But you love my ass so much...”  
  
Listening to their friends continue to bicker, Clarke shook her head, that dazzling smile still on her face. “Come on,” she said, nodding towards the opening in the floor, “Let's get down there before one of them actually does break something.” Lexa began to nod but then stopped, thinking of something, and when the blonde tried to pull away a little she stopped her.  
  
“Wait,” she said, and Clarke looked back at her, quirking an eyebrow at her. Lexa's lips pulled up a little, telling her, “I'll marry you, but on one condition.” She noticed the other girl frown slightly and almost leaned forward to kiss it away, but held her ground. “What?” Clarke wanted to know, and Lexa's grin grew as she answered, “This time we both get to be the wives.” Once again that beautiful smile tugged along the blonde's lips, and Lexa knew in that instant her heart would belong to Clarke until the day she decided to give it back. She hoped that day would never come, and was pretty sure it wouldn't.  
  
“I think I can agree to that condition,” Clarke told her, pressing forward again until their foreheads were touching. “We've been husbands so long, I think it's time to try being wives too.”  
  
“You can just call me Mrs. Clarke Griffin,” Lexa joked lightly before she leaned forward, leaving a light kiss against the other girl's lips. She heard Clarke let out a little sigh, a little noise escaping with it, and then she shook her head. “Nah, I think I'll be Mrs. Lexa Woods,” she said, and then returned the kiss with her own. “Has a better ring to it.” Something flashed across her face then, and she added, “Oh, speaking of...” She leaned back enough to pull the ring she still held from its box, slipping the box into the pocket of her graduation gown. Looking back up to meet the brunette's eyes, she grabbed her hand, slowly sliding the ring on her finger, and Lexa's heart flipped too many times to count.  
  
The ring now securely on her finger, the brunette only studied it for a second before she looked back up, meeting blue eyes again. “Compromise?” she asked. Clarke nodded, silently telling her to continue, and Lexa pressed her forehead back against hers. “How about Mrs. and Mrs. Griffin-Woods?” Clarke grinned, already nodding before she'd even finished, and somehow managed to press herself even closer. “Griffin-Woods; I don't think I've ever heard anything more right.” She was kissing her then, not allowing either of them even a second to catch their breath, so Lexa didn't have a chance to agree.  
  
Nothing had ever felt more right than the idea of being with Clarke forever. They'd been saying it their whole lives, and now it was true:  
  
They were going to be together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Lexa's portion is done! Hope you all liked the epilogue (and story as a whole)! Now to finish Clarke's part of this and bring this story line to a complete finish. Thanks all!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to _Girl Next Door_ which simply tells Clarke's side of things. I will uploading the first chapter of that story tomorrow and then will be updating them alternating every other day. I already have the first three chapters written for each, so I fully expect to be able to stick to that schedule. Once these two stories are done (each will be seven chapters long) I will be returning to _Continuum_ and _Connections_. Thanks!


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